Not Just a Prisoner
by sayume214
Summary: He vanished after Ichigo defeated him and expected a sure end as he realized he couldn't understand that woman. Instead, he got a second chance and was sent back in time to do things over. Perhaps this time he'd understand and even more. Drama, mystery, psychological. UlquiHime
1. Second Chance

Disclaimer: The rights for the production of Bleach belong to Tite Kubo and Viz Media. I take no credit for it and am not making any sort of profit with this story; which I write for mere entertainment.

Information note:

Nagajuban: An underkimono garment; usually white. It is considered underwear.

**Second Chance**

When Orihime was with Ulquiorra they had a connection.

Some time after she was saved by Ichigo and the others, she thought she would be happy, and she felt glad, but she had realized about this emptiness inside her. A place in her heart created and occupied by Ulquiorra, and which no one else could fill. She missed him ever since they returned…

When Ulquiorra was trapped inside Grimmjow's negacion, he could still be able to perceive Grimmjow's reaitsu had disappeared, and since then knew he had been defeated by Kurosaki Ichigo. When he set himself free to take charge in Las Noches after the top 3 Espada along with Aizen, Ichimaru and Tousen departed, the first thing he saw was Orihime…

Due to the memorable speech he gave her about the soul, one wouldn't have thought he felt any mercy towards her. How wrong such assumption happens to be. While he was trapped inside the darkness Grimmjow put him in, she was all that occupied his thoughts.

He couldn't understand why anyone would go so far to save that woman. She wasn't a particularly important person in her world. The only thing that made her special was her power to reject reality; however, his enemies had made it clear they didn't wish to save her for that sole reason but for friendship; a concept he couldn't grasp as anything other than an unnecessary relationship among humans who were weak and couldn't stand up for themselves. Apparently, there was more to it, but what? What was there about it that made it so important? If it's so important, then how could he be missing it?

But none of that mattered. He did his best to stick to his duty and his duty only.

Before he knew it, a fierce battle exploded in Las Noches. He had broken the rule of not using his resurreccion form and shattered his recollected demeanor and still he lost the fight.

How strange. He was disintegrating particle by particle; this was his end; and he still thought of that woman.

-Do you fear me? – He asked her for the second time.

And for the second time, she answered negatively.

Why did he hope for her answer to change? Why was it so important anyways? He didn't understand how but he knew then that that woman had made a strong impression on him. She had seen him in forms that would've made most tremble and fall to the ground, but she still didn't fear him?

_Just what is there about that woman named Orihime Inoue? _– He thought with his last breath inside his soul. – _I somehow want to understand. It is ridiculous. I have no future anymore but I still want to understand… In the end, I am having an illogical desire; much like a human would. Is it simply that no matter how much one tries to detach from such humane traits, they just cannot be detached from a soul that was once human? Is the human essence that persistent? Have I lost my opportunity to understand that woman? Why do I wish to understand her so badly? She should just be trash to me, but something about her tells me there's more to her yet. What makes Inoue Orihime thus worthy of so much analysis? In what way would it benefit me in the least to understand her; a mere human? Despite this much inner arguing, I still want to know more of her._

He didn't know what to expect after vanishing. In theory, his soul would be purified and sent to Soul Society but for some reason he always felt that his case would be different; an illogical thought he'd always shrug off whenever it came to his mind.

As illogical as it seemed, his foreboding was true in the end.

All of a sudden, he wasn't in Las Noches and neither Ichigo Kurosaki nor Orihime Inoue were anywhere in sight. There was absolutely nothing surrounding him, just dark nothingness. Not a sound could be heard.

He stood up but he couldn't really feel the floor and the atmosphere was strange. It was as if there was no gravity or spiritual pressure.

He placed his hand in front of his eyes. Despite the dense obscurity, he had no trouble distinguishing his hand or his feet. It was as if his soul radiated light.

Then, a second body radiating light appeared in front of him as if by magic. It was a young-looking woman. She had creamy white skin, grayish brown hair picked up in a ponytail, her face had fair features, her nose was small and graceful, her lips were thin and smiling kindly and understandingly, her cerulean eyes weren't judging but sweet and in the middle of her forehead she had what appeared to be a circular onyx stone. The kimono she wore was open in the front like a cleavage and it was red with pink, white and black flowers with shape of dandelions and her nagajuban was black. Around her neck she wore a white gold necklace from which a crescent-shaped pendant drooped.

-Hello, Ulquiorra. – She greeted smiling.

-Who are you and where am I? – He asked her with his always unemotional face.

-We've met before, Ulquiorra. – She answered him without her smile vanishing. – But of course, you cannot remember me. And us being in this space means time was stopped from its continuity.

-When did we meet? I do not understand how stopping time is possible for you.

-We met when you were in your material body, Ulquiorra. – She continued with her kind voice. – And I cannot reveal to you yet the reason why I can stop time. There are many things you wish to understand, aren't there? But don't feel frustrated. Remember humans have limits to their understanding and you were once considered human. However, it being limited does not make it any less wonderful that it is. – She sounded happier as she went on.

-But that shouldn't matter anymore to me. – He interrupted. – My existence has ended. Anything you tell me now is futile, for I won't remember it in Soul Society.

-But Ulquiorra, you will not go to Soul Society. – She stated perfectly serious.

-Will I go to hell, then?

-You won't end up there either. I can assure you that what awaits you is different.

-How can you assure me that?

-I cannot tell you how, but I can.

-Why have you stopped time and brought me here?

-Because I owe you a favor, Ulquiorra.

-A favor? – His voice was still lacking emotion but its tone was varying; beckoning that Ulquiorra was surprised.

-Yes, a favor. – She smiled again. – I have not only stopped time; I have also rewinded it.

-You reversed it? – He found himself doubting the stranger.

-I did. Ulquiorra, this is a new chance for you.

-A new chance? – He repeated the question while slightly frowning in confusion.

-Yes. – Her smile grew. – You see Ulquiorra, if you continue with your cycle of life in your current state, you will not be happy. Something within you is still unsatisfied; there is something you need to do, something you couldn't do before. This new chance means you can do it.

-What is it that I couldn't do?

-That's a question only you can answer.

-I do not understand.

-You do not need to. Ulquiorra, as we live on, time flows. If you stop by to understand each of your actions you'd be wasting an enormous amount of your life in which you'd be missing different opportunities. Like Kierkegaard said: 'Life can only be understood when looking back, but it can only be lived when looking ahead'.

Ulquiorra's befuddlement was taking the best of him. Just who was this mysterious woman? What she said sounded out of this world and then she was suddenly quoting philosophy. And why was she smiling like that? Such expression he had only seen anything close to it in Aizen's expression; which he always wore, but there was something different about hers. Hers didn't feel like a mask; hers was heartfelt. And how in the world could he know that? All in all, he found his current situation as impossible to analyze, even with his highly-praised skills even Aizen acknowledged. Such a situation was frustrating for him.

-What will happen now? – He resigned himself to reply as if he didn't have to question anything previously covered in that conversation; if he could really call it that.

-Like I said, I rewinded time. Everyone's minds will 'reset'; except yours. Nobody acts exactly the same way twice. Because you know this is the second time events occur, you will act differently, even if just slightly. You will think and feel differently.

-Feel? – He asked blankly.

-Yes, Ulquiorra, feel. This is your new chance.

-Why are you doing this?

-Like I said, I owe you a favor.

-How is this paying me back for whatever I could've done for you before?

-Do you really need to ask, Ulquiorra? – She sounded amused. – A second chance is what myriads of minds have craved for ever since the beginning of times. You are fortunate enough to get one. I'm afraid this is all I can do and I cannot rewind the same lapse of time twice or else a delicate balance will break for sure. Doing it once risks it, in fact.

-Why would you take that risk for me?

-Because I owe you a favor. – She repeated smiling.

-Was that favor thus important?

-That answer varies according to each person; for some it wouldn't be considered like that and for some it would be more meaningful than it truly was. It's a matter of perspective.

-How should I know what to do?

-You'll have to do what you've already done, but this time, you may take advantage and try to do what you couldn't do the first time.

-How will I know what that is?

-Have you forgotten already, Ulquiorra? What was it that you desired after your demise? What was it that you wished you could do despite knowing you had run out of time?

His eyes froze and he ceased breathing.

'_I somehow want to understand. It is ridiculous. I have no future anymore but I still want to understand… Have I lost my opportunity to understand that woman? Why do I wish to understand her so badly? …I still want to know more of her'_

Those words resonated in his mind. Had he really thought that?

He then turned to look at the smirking woman.

-Seems like you've figured it out.

She then walked closer and closer to him until she was so close she could touch him. Her expression was suddenly turned heavily serious.

-This is a gift but at the same time a trial towards yourself. You'll face something you've never faced before. You must not turn around and face things, no matter how hard, if you really want to reach your objective. – She then reassumed her smile. - I sincerely wish you the best and hope you find happiness eventually, Ulquiorra Schiffer.

That said, she put her hand on his forehead and closed her eyes. The onyx stone on her forehead had a blinking red shine. The dark that surrounded them seemed as if it was absorbed and disappeared. Now everything around them was white and blinding.

Ulquiorra squinted because of the sudden white and suddenly felt as if an external strength forced his eyelids close.

When he could open his eyes again, the mysterious woman had disappeared without a trace. He could sense the gravity and the floor again.

He glanced around. He recognized the room he was in as the room where he had kept Orihime Inoue prisoner.

In front of her was that very girl. He noted she was wearing her school uniform. Then he noticed that he carried in his hands the folded white uniform she'd wear.

Unbelieavable. That woman had really reversed time. This was the moment in which he'd hand her the uniform. He did his best to remain recollected.

He looked at her. She had one arm in her front; it was body language expressing she was guarding herself against his presence. Her eyes were looking at him with trembling irises. Her expression resembled fear; but that couldn't be. She had stated he didn't fear him. Was she then telling him she didn't trust him? That sounded logical given the circumstances. Perhaps, in order to understand her, he'd have to make her open. He had to gain her trust.

-You shall wear this from now on. – He spoke and left the clothes in the couch nearby.

He looked at her without saying anything for a moment. She didn't move either.

She could've sworn that he was one person and then, the next second, he conveyed a different aura. She didn't understand what had happened or why he was staring at her that way.

-What are you thinking, woman? – He asked her.

She looked bemused at his question.

-What am I thinking? – She repeated blankly; more to herself than towards him. – Do I really have to wear those clothes?

-You do. It's an order of Aizen.

-Aizen? - She looked a bit surprised at his answer.

-Did I say anything strange, woman?

-You didn't call him 'Aizen - Sama'. – She answered bluntly.

She was right. It was strange for him to forget that suffix for Aizen…

Ulquiorra decided that the best thing he could do was to not do anything rash out of confusion just yet. So he would calm himself down first.

-Do put it on. – He told her right before leaving and closing the door behind him.

She had no choice but do as he told her. She felt strange wearing that. And she didn't like being alone in that small, cold and boring room.

_I'm positive something happened. In the middle of his visit, the air around him changed somehow. I don't know how. And then, he told me to wear these clothes twice; though the second time he sounded different… Ulquiorra…Schiffer… Will he come by again?_

A/N: I started this story months ago. It's about time I start publishing it. I use the term 'soul' as a synonym of 'body'. This story is not my current main focus. When I have time to write, I try to write for KISA, my other story; which you are welcome to read. So, I will not update this story regularly, but I am certainly going to finish it. Proof of my commitment to what I write is that my other story is currently on 78 chapters and I haven't stopped. Please review. C:


	2. Names

Holy wow! I didn't expect this story to take such popularity overnight! (Don't tell it will be more popular than my other story…) This chapter is dedicated to: ScrappyCocoa, briyalia, wutai flea, SilverRedBlossom331, hitokiri angel, my good friend Eicher; for reviewing; Doremon, Urukiora Schifa, 3R15UK0UM31; for favoriting; and Aleanyia; for alerting. Thanks to you all! Just to clear doubts I use '(…)' as a way of indicating a somewhat long pause in the character's thoughts.

**Names**

Ulquiorra headed straight to his room. His room was plain white; like the rest of Las Noches; and didn't have much furniture in it, just his bed, a bedside table, a full wooden bookcase, a chair by the wall and the door to his bathroom.

He was lying in his bed while staring at the ceiling. He wasn't tired but he wished he were. The confusion he felt while inside that mysterious dark space with the smiling woman hadn't gone away yet. He was not used to just accepting things that way; his analytical nature wouldn't allow him to. Yet, he had no choice but to do it for the first time.

_She said we had met when I was human? But I was certain that had been long ago… Memories…I lack them. While I've learnt others remember being Gillian and Adjuchas, I don't recall that life either… Just what is that which awaits me after my demise as an Espada?_

Shortly afterwards, a meeting of the Espada was called.

To Ulquiorra, it was like living a déjà vu. Everything they were discussing was known by him beforehand.

Unlike the vast majority, he always paid attention to Aizen during the meetings. He'd never thought of himself as someone who'd blatantly doze off like Stark or show dislike at being there like Grimmjow. But for once, he gave himself the luxury of not paying attention. His mind was still roaming about what was happening and part of him couldn't believe it just yet. He wondered if it was all a dream. He remembered having read that, sometimes, dreams can feel too realistic and are quite convincing. However, that could hardly be his case. For as long as he could remember, he had never had dreams.

The meeting came to an end. Some shameless ones sighed too loudly in conspicuous relief.

-Ulquiorra, - Aizen called for him. – I need you to walk Inoue Orihime to my quarters; there is something I wish to show her. I'll be waiting for her.

Ulquiorra nodded in understanding and headed to Orihime's room.

Aizen only raised an eyebrow for half a second. It was slightly unusual of Ulquiorra to just nod; he would always say 'Yes, Aizen - Sama' after receiving orders. Nonetheless, he didn't care much about that detail in the end.

Ulquiorra came inside her room after knocking twice and found her standing while facing the small barred window.

She turned towards him; her arm again in front of her chest.

He glanced at her wearing the uniform.

-It suits you. – He told her.

She didn't respond.

-Aizen wishes to see you, woman. He's waiting for you already. – He then turned around. – Follow me.

Just like that, he started walking. He didn't let her protest. Yet, she was following him coyly from behind and with her guard on.

His memory recalled it was a silent long walk; her feeling uncomfortable wasn't missed by his observing eyes.

This time, however, something was different.

He looked back and saw her purplish-gray eyes staring at him as if she wanted to tell him something; that he didn't recall happening before.

-Is something the matter, woman? – He asked her without stopping walking.

-Why do you keep calling me 'woman'? – She asked openly.

-Because that's what you are. – His expression was neutral.

-But that's not my name.

-It is not my duty to call you by your name.

-But don't you feel awkward when calling someone else as if she were an object?

-I do not feel awkwardness; I only do my duty.

-Only your duty? – She asked again.

He paused for a second. This conversation had certainly not happened before. He almost frowned.

_Only my duty?_ – He repeated inwardly.

Before he could think of an answer, they had reached their destination: Aizen's room.

She had most likely thought he had opted for silence.

-Be respectful. – He told her as he opened the door for her to enter.

She gazed down as she went inside.

Ulquiorra waited outside. He knew Aizen would show her the Hogyoku; supposedly, as a token of his trust towards her. The first time he heard that explanation he doubted it and he now knew there had to be something more of it. Perhaps he was just using his twisted psychology for some purpose beyond what he'd ever tell him.

_Why has she acted differently this time?_

-Albeit their minds have 'reset', they are still doing this for the second time; just like you; it's just that they aren't aware of it. – A familiar voice explained.

Ulquiorra turned to his front and saw the same woman he had seen before. She wore the same smile with black pumps with white stripes, a tight white skirt that reached just below her knees and a white top with a V-cleavage, a black line drawn vertically in the middle and ample sleeves that reached her knees.

She was looking at him. Her eyes were understanding and kind but they had a playful air in them that revealed she knew how to tease and at the same time knew more than her smile would let you guess.

His eyes widened with surprise but didn't really show the shock.

-It's you…! – He pointed out baffled to see her around and with that outfit.

-It has only been hours since you saw me and you had already missed me, Ulquiorra? – She greeted.

-Perhaps I am dreaming. – He thought out loud.

-No you're not! – She told him with her hands on her waist. – Don't tell me you're still skeptical? It has happened and it has already started, Ulquiorra.

-Why was that woman acting differently?

-Like I already told you, this is the second time events occur for them as well; they just don't know it yet. And nobody can do things the same way twice. – She explained grinning.

-This situation itself is illogical.

-Shall I quote Kierkegaard for you again? It's not in your best interest to waste time thinking it's illogical. Is it really so hard to accept a miracle?

-A miracle? – He asked back.

-I am aware you don't believe in them but you're living one now and there's nothing you can do about it. I'm afraid I cannot undo the time reversal. You'll have to wait until you reach the point in which it was rewinded. Meanwhile, put some focus on your goal. I'll be supervising everything here, so I can offer help when needed. – She offered. – Convenient, right?

-You'll be here? – He wasn't sure if he had understood right; her being here would be dangerous.

-Of course. I must make sure that most events still follow as they did the first time. So I'll supervise that aspect. Things will vary, but everything that happened must happen again. Ichigo Kurosaki and the shinigami captains from Soul Society will come again and a fight will explode in this castle once more. I believe you have a fair idea of how much time you have before it's too late. – Her smile grew.

He still felt so much needed to be explained. Her appearing again brought some answers but also more questions.

-Woman…

-Uh uh! – She interrupted as she shook her head and her right index finger. – If you think it's OK to call Orihime – San that, then you definitely have a problem. But I won't let you call _me_ 'woman'. As a matter of fact, I believe that's exactly what the girl you escorted here was trying to tell you. Seriously Ulquiorra, should I call you 'Arrancar', then?

-There is no difference. – He stated monotonically.

-Yes there is. – She assumed a more serious tone. – A name is important; if it weren't, then no one would bother naming their children and pets. Being called by our names by the people we care about makes us feel good inside. – Her subtle grin appeared. – Do you like her name, Ulquiorra?

-Do I like her name? – He mused out loud and quietly.

-Who are you talking to? – A male voice interrupted him.

Ulquiorra looked to find Nnoitra Jiruga standing at his left. He was looking at him with narrowed eyes and a mocking grin.

He then turned to his front and realized the mysterious woman was no longer standing in front of him. Had she disappeared?

-Well, are you going crazy, Ulquiorra? – Nnoitra chortled. – Perhaps following Aizen's plan has gotten your head mixed up and now you're seeing things.

-Aizen's plan?

-About that human woman he brought.

-That wasn't Aizen's plan. He's far too busy with more important things. I am the one that has supervised everything about that woman.

Nnoitra stared at him suspiciously.

-Since when do you call him 'Aizen'? – He asked suspicious. – What happened to your ass-kissing 'Aizen - Sama'?

_Is that trait of myself so notorious?_ – He pondered. – _Even that woman has noticed it…_

Right then, the door was opened and Orihime emerged from it.

She looked pensive and then took note of Nnoitra standing next to her. She felt quite uneasy at his side.

-Well, Ulquiorra, seems like you have some special pet for your own fun! – Nnoitra commented. – You lucky bastard!

-I have no idea what you are talking about, Nnoitra. – Ulquiorra told him without showing reactions to his comment.

-Of course you don't! Play innocent as much as you like! – He mocked before he walked away laughing maniacally.

Orihime's face showed what he couldn't believe: Fear.

-Do you fear him? – He asked her.

She turned to him surprised and then looked away, gazing down.

She feared him. It made no sense to him. He had a higher rank than Nnoitra and far more power; which would make him rank as Primera were it not because Aizen himself doesn't know about it.

The rest of the way they both remained silent but pensive.

_I don't understand this Arrancar called Ulquiorra… _- Orihime mused. –_ I just can't help feeling that there's something different about him. I might not know much about him; I should despise him; but I still feel curious as to why he suddenly changed somehow. I can tell the change isn't that great, but I have this premonition that tells me it's important. Ulquiorra Schiffer… I wished I could just call him that. It's too rude of me not to call anyone by their name, but how can I when he calls me 'woman'? It's too strange and he doesn't see it. Does being a hollow make you forget important things like that? (…) I fear that lanky Arrancar? I just cannot help feeling chills when I see his face; he looks as if he were about to kill me… Then what makes this other Arrancar different? It's like I don't fear him… But I have a grudge against him. He can say he's just following orders, but I cannot help but feel he wants something from me. I could never trust a man like him. More importantly, I must not let him be in the way of the new purpose I've found. I must destroy the Hogyoku._

_Orihime Inoue. _– Ulquiorra pondered at the same time. –_ Do I like that name? What could that woman mean? Why would I 'like' a name? A name simply denominates beings and that's all there is to it. What is that importance she says it holds? (…) Do I like her name? Orihime Inoue. There's nothing strange or unique about it. I neither like nor dislike it. I cannot comprehend anything that woman says. Why? (…) Why doesn't this woman fear me but fears Nnoitra? Her body language clearly expressed she was guarding herself against Nnoitra and was more stiff at his side than when I'm next to her. What's the difference between me and Nnoitra? I don't understand humans._

That's when they reached her room.

She slowly entered and placed herself just like she was when he came in to escort her; right under the barred window with the view of the moon.

The moonlight fell upon her and made her hair shine with a golden outline. Her back was facing him, so he couldn't know what her expression looked like.

-My friends will come. – She told him without facing him.

Before, he would've told her that was a ridiculous and futile hope but he knew better this time. He knew she had been correct all along.

_This woman has good intuition. She has no bases for stating that and yet she does so with confidence. Intuition is irrational because it doesn't have any support for its foundations. I avoid saying anything based on such a foolish hunch but she clearly doesn't. Is that part of the reason I don't understand this woman?_

-I cannot deny they will most likely come. – He stated.

Orihime turned her head to look at his perfectly serious face. Had she misheard him?

-However; in the end; they will not leave without a scratch. They are fools for underestimating Aizen like they do. If they come, they will suffer losses and that will be inevitable.

She gazed down and didn't reply.

Ulquiorra noted she was no longer placing her arm against her chest despite his presence.

-They will win. – She looked up with firmness. – Kurosaki – Kun and the others will win.

-Do you have any bases to support what you're saying, woman?

She scowled. She didn't have any other than the knowledge she had of everyone's determination.

-Because they're foolish enough to attack this place, you will feel the consequences of their actions. One by one, you'll feel as their reiatsu starts disappearing; you'll know when they're injured and know it will all be because they're trying to save you. You won't be with them and you'll have to deal with the urge to heal them. It will be your bane and you'll regret them coming here.

-Stop… - She mumbled with her insides trembling.

She didn't want him to continue. Her rage and fear were accumulating and she was experiencing them like she never had before. Her fists were closed and shaking. Her eyes were shut with force; creating a painful frown in her forehead.

-You are no longer with them. The moment you put on that uniform, you accepted that you shall do as Aizen commands and you shall not go against him. You're now Aizen's and no longer possess your own soul.

-Stop it… - She whispered with her hands covering her ears; fighting the muteness that was taking over her.

-You don't want to keep listening because you know I'm saying the truth.

-That's a lie! – She exclaimed; her teary eyes looking straight at his form.

-Is it? – He said as his tone assumed a grave air to it.

He then used sonido to appear just in front of her. He was so close she could smell him.

She wasn't over the shock yet when he rather brusquely extended his arms at each side of her head and placed his hands on the wall; trapping her in that space where she stood.

-Learn your place, woman. You're not here as my equal; you're here as a prisoner. What do you expect me to do? To just let you think and say as you like and comfort you? I'm not here to treat you like a princess. My duty is to keep you alive and well. That's all. This is the situation you're in and you can't do anything to escape it. You want the pain to stop? Then stop having foolish hopes. Those who oppose Aizen can only perish. Soul Society's fate was decided long ago. Your friends are fools. Your friends will die…!

He knew beforehand she'd react this way. He knew her hand would slap him again if he said those words to her. And again, he permitted her to do it.

This was the second time she managed to slap him. How was it that she could do it? His reflexes weren't that slow but he simply forgot to move. The first time he couldn't understand how he had simply frozen and become unable to dodge it. This time he had found his answer. It was her eyes that bound him.

His face was again turned sideways. He slowly turned to look at her frontally. Her posture showed her muscles had stiffened but her eyes were unyielding. She definitely felt no fear for him.

She was aware he was far more powerful and strong than her and he wasn't allowed to kill her but he could do other things to get back at her and she still was unfaltering.

Ulquiorra slowly lowered his arms and turned around to exit.

He headed straight to his room and laid back on his bed to stare at the ceiling again.

_Orihime Inoue. Is it because of her intuition and strong will that I do not understand that particular woman?_


	3. Reality

To B. Eicher.

**Reality**

Orihime's tears trickled down for a while, even though Ulquiorra was long gone.

_He's so despicable! _– She couldn't seem to think anything else. –_ I just don't know what to think of him. He says the worst of things but then I get this eerie feeling when I look into his eyes; his eyes don't say what his mouth does. How can anyone's eyes be unreadable like his? What does he want from me? Does he wish to see through me? Does he want to torture me? Is he trying to confuse me? Is he trying to brainwash me to become a servant of Aizen? I should fear him but I don't know why I simply don't… Whatever he does to me, I must bear with it. I must be strong and fulfill the one thing that I can do to help Kurosaki – Kun and the others. If the Hogyoku is destroyed, then Aizen will as well._

Once again, he was musing about the woman he was trying to understand while lying on his bed.

-Will I ever understand her? – He thought and whispered out loud.

-Not with your current methods. – A female voice replied unexpectedly.

Ulquiorra sat up and saw the culprit of his headache sitting on the edge of his bed at his left.

This time, she wore her grayish brown hair down; reaching all the way to her waist; with a white hat. Her blue top was backless and her Capri pants were white.

Was she going to wear different clothes each time he saw her?

-It is not wise to walk around the halls with those clothes, woman.

-Again, Ulquiorra? – She asked frowning. – Just how many times does someone have to tell you not to call women 'woman' until it gets into your head? With your intelligence, you should have grasped that already. – She nagged sounding disapproving.

-It is still dangerous for you to do that. – He insisted.

-Well, I like wearing comfortable clothes better and I'm on my shift break from surveillance right now. – She smiled.

He sighed inwardly but he was going to take advantage of her being there, anyways. She seemed to be able to understand that woman better than he could.

-I know what you're thinking. – She told him serious. – And, effectively, I can understand Orihime Inoue better than you. However, I can't really help you. Like I told you before, rewinding time and offering some help is all I can do for you; but since your happiness is what's at stake here, Ulquiorra, I cannot help you understand Orihime – San. I must not be the one that spells it for you; you must find your answers for yourself.

-Happiness? – He asked sounding skeptical.

-Yes, Ulquiorra, happiness. – She repeated while looking into his emerald eyes with her cerulean ones and a smile.

-I am not familiar with such ideology. – He replied without blinking.

-Happiness is not an ideology; it's an emotion.

-I do not live with such emotions. I am a Hollow; therefore I've detached myself from those humane traits.

She grinned.

-Are you sure about that, Ulquiorra?

-Though I can experience anger; among other sensations; I can only do it at low levels that cannot interfere with my thinking. Because of that, I am better than humans.

-Are you sure? – She kept smiling and looking at him with eyes that seemed to know more than himself.

-Happiness, sadness, hope, fear. I've read of them all. I am positive I cannot feel such things. – He insisted.

-Very well, if you're positive about it, then I won't argue about it. – Her smile widened. – However, I can assure you that what awaits you after your demise here will not be like that.

-How can you assure it?

-No matter how many times you ask me, I still cannot give you the answer. – She sounded apologetic.

-Why should I keep trying to understand her, anyways? How will that be of any use to me? You yourself have affirmed I'll die in this body. I will not remember anything in whatever is waiting for me.

-Can you be certain of that, Ulquiorra? – She asked him with half-closed eyes.

-Not entirely; since I ignore what is it that will be next after this life; but it isn't likely I'll remember what I learn as I am now.

-One more question: We know you aren't _able_ to feel happiness, but do you _want_ to feel it, Ulquiorra Schiffer?

His green irises briefly contracted at her straightforward question.

She then resumed her smile.

-It's alright. That's not an easy question; I know. You do not have to answer right away. You have some time, Ulquiorra. Meanwhile, why not keep focusing on your goal since you already started?

-I haven't reached an acceptable progress so far.

He gazed down a second before reestablishing eye contact. Something about her eyes made him feel exhausted.

-Exactly; 'so far'. That's why you can still keep trying. No one expected you to do it perfectly at first. You're doing something completely new to your mind. You've never done anything like it before and I am certainly not giving you any references or bases. Do you realize how remarkable it is that you even assumed the challenge to begin with? Not anyone has the courage to do something new without help; especially when it's something this hard.

-Do you consider this hard?

-You do. That's all that matters.

-I cannot reach her.

-I repeat, you won't get anywhere with your current methods. When a method doesn't work, then you just have to try a different approach.

-Like what?

-Come on. Don't tell me you only know how to be rough. What do you know already?

-Only that she's intuitive and strong-willed.

-Okay, that's as far as your method got you. Now, why do you think it failed to take you farther?

Ulquiorra closed his eyes and with a hardly perceivable scowl to muse deeply.

X Flashback X

-You are no longer with them. The moment you put on that uniform, you accepted that you shall do as Aizen commands and you shall not go against him. You're now Aizen's and no longer possess your own soul.

-Stop it…

-You don't want to keep listening because you know I'm saying the truth.

-That's a lie!

-Is it?

He then used sonido to appear just in front of her and he brusquely extended his arms at each side of her head and placed his hands on the wall; trapping her in that space where she stood.

-Learn your place, woman. You're not here as my equal; you're here as a prisoner. What do you expect me to do? To just let you think and say as you like and comfort you? I'm not here to treat you like a princess. My duty is to keep you alive and well. That's all. This is the situation you're in and you can't do anything to escape it. You want the pain to stop? Then stop having foolish hopes. Those who oppose Aizen can only perish. Soul Society's fate was decided long ago. Your friends are fools. Your friends will die…!

Slap.

X End of Flashback X

-Because I was telling her the truth. – Ulquiorra answered.

-Was that the really truth? – She asked him without breaking eye contact.

-It was. The fact that she didn't like it doesn't make it a lie. She's just denying reality; a common humane feature.

-Seems like you've read a lot about humane traits, Ulquiorra. – She told him without sarcasm; she was actually grinning.

-I have and I've observed them every time I've been to the Human Realm.

- From your point of view that's reality, but it isn't for hers.

-Reality is reality; no matter who sees it. Humans just tend to interpret it according to their convenience and feelings; modifying it because they refuse to accept it the way it is.

She then leaned closer while smiling and with her eyes still on him.

-Don't think I'm not aware of everything that happened in that room, Ulquiorra. I know exactly the words you used to tell her the 'reality'. And you know what? It sounded to me as if you were considering it impossible for Aizen to lose.

-Because it is impossible for him to lose. Even if I'll be defeated, Aizen won't. – He stated firmly.

-Are you completely certain of what you're saying, Ulquiorra?

-Yes, I am. Why do you keep asking me if I'm sure of what I say?

-Because you're lying.

-I do not lie. – He narrowed his eyes on her; though that didn't affect her expression in the least.

-You just did. 'Even if I'll be defeated, Aizen won't'. You don't really believe that. That's what you've been conditioned by Aizen himself to believe. While it would be interesting to analyze the 'if' clause on your statement; suggesting you are still in the process of accepting your defeat; let's focus on the 'Aizen' part. You are aware that you've lately been forgetting to add the suffix you'd never address him without in the past, correct?

Ulquiorra was almost speechless. Now, that's not an effect anyone can incite in him; this woman absolutely wasn't normal but she was smart.

_How does this woman know about every conversation I have had? Am I not over my defeat? I've accepted it as what will happen; why would I not be over it yet? What difference does a suffix make?_

-I see you're wordless. – She spoke after a pause. – Worry not. I can read your thoughts, remember? Now, I cannot answer your first question. Don't make me repeat myself in that matter, I'd tell you if I could. One thing is that you know you'll be defeated and another one to accept that. Nobody likes to admit it and you've learned you're no exception. It's alright, though. More importantly, this lets you see that even your opinion can be biased. No matter how smart you are or how unemotional; you're not perfect. You're inclined to believe Aizen cannot be defeated but there's no certain way for you to know it. Nonetheless, that's _your _reality, Ulquiorra; Orihime – San does not share it. Her reality is that Kurosaki Ichigo cannot lose. She does believe Soul Society powerful, but a part of her has great faith in that teenager. You've seen his power and you chose deny it before; saying it was just her hope that blinded her; but now you are aware of the reach of Ichigo's power and know you'd be denying the truth if you still refused to acknowledge it. That is what you know about him. It is indeed arguable whether or not he'll defeat Aizen. Just remember he counts with the support of Soul Society. Ichigo himself is a powerful force; and Soul Society, per se, is as well. Now, put them both together. Another man added to Sereitei's power may mean little; but as you've seen Ichigo is an exception. I dare say he's managed to impress me.

She leaned even closer to his being. He was, needless to say, hypnotized by her voice. The way she put things down made him incapable of traversing anything that parted from her lips. Never had he felt like this before. He was vulnerable to the non existent mercy of her words. He was yet to realize his lips were parted; nearly gaping.

-Why did you start to address him as 'Aizen - Sama', Ulquiorra?

It took him a while to find his voice and muster enough composure as to speak. His face had remained the same; nevertheless, he had felt the weight of her eyes on his entire soul.

-Because he's my leader and master. – His voice lacked any trace of anxiety but it was an octave lower than before.

-You are yet to consider the possibility of him losing, but it's there and you know it. That was enough to make you hesitate as if to keep following him. You are aware that what he plans to do is no good and that has never stopped you. What has stopped you is the image of his invincible self shattering. Ulquiorra, I'll leave you to figure out what I've been telling you yourself. This all is what you reality revolves around. What I'm trying to get into your head is simply this: You now have an idea of what it is like to be told a truth that does not coincide with your truth; you can't accept it easily. That's exactly what you expected the girl you drew tears from to do.

She then stood up and finally gave Ulquiorra some personal space as she released him from her bewitching gaze.

She gave him a heartfelt smile.

-You should feel good, Ulquiorra. You just gave a step closer to understanding her. And that's about all of the help I can give you.

Right then, Ulquiorra sensed something about that woman; it was something he felt for her: Amazement.

-You know how to place yourself in her shoes. Reality is reality. That's true, but to understand the interpretation others give to it, you must see from where they stand. Now, do not forget that. It will be pretty useful.

She then looked outside the window.

-My shift break is about to end. – She then turned to him smiling. – Give it your best, OK? Go apologize to Orihime – San. It's no good making a girl cry, Ulquiorra.

And just like that she left his room and closed the door behind her.

At first it was as if, far from helping him, she was only confusing him more. She did confuse him but it was like she had given him one hell of a push on the way.

He wanted to know who she was; now more than ever. (Did she know what time it was by looking outside the window? Is that even possible?)


	4. Communication

To hitokiri angel, my chatting pal 3R15UK0UM31, wutai flea, Ashcat7, shabtab, FlowersSunshine, Merciless Ruby, xXxNoodlexXx, my good friend Mizuki's Star; for their reviews; SilverRedBlossom331, SUNSHINGIRL; for favoriting; Devil-Teddy, AzureZephyr, my good friend fuzzibuniez, HahynGirl and Sin Piedad; for alerting! I'm truly glad you like it, people. I am authentically surprised it's popular so fast! Thanks, you all. I apologize for having taken so long to update. First, this is priority two for me. Second, I just started college a month ago and I already have to squeeze time to write. T.T Anyhow, I won't stop this now that I started it so don't worry about that. Oh, I included some humor this time.

Translation:

Yare, yare = Expression used similarly to 'Oh, dear' or 'My'.

**Communication**

Ulquiorra felt himself in a true dilemma.

The mysterious woman's odd ways helped him to understand Orihime Inoue better but she certainly left him with tons of inner questions.

_Do I like her name? Do I __want__ to be happy? Do I no longer believe in Aizen…Sama? I can't even add the suffix in thought anymore? That just cannot be… Just what does that woman want from me? I have no idea how to get throughout this series of events. It's a waste of time; and I am too short on it. I still can't find logic in anything that woman says. It's irrelevant if I no longer believe in Aizen; I'll end up dying under his command no matter what. Why would I rebel now, then? What difference would it make? Is she trying to manipulate me with her words? But what would she earn from doing that? Why is it that I cannot doubt what she says even though I want to? (…) She did say this would be a trial but this is simply too much. I am not the kind of being that can pass this test satisfactorily. Perhaps I was just never the right option to receive a second chance… (…) How in the world could I possibly focus on that goal she wants me to reach in order to be 'happy'? Orihime Inoue can't possibly trust me… What can I do then?_

Ulquiorra stood up from his bed and walked to his overstocked bookcase. The fact that a bookcase of 15 shelves and 2 meters wide wasn't enough to hold all of his books says a lot.

He had read so many books to be able to do a satisfactory job with the prisoner he was to take care of. He thought maybe submerging in human psychology books would help him find an answer somehow. He was right. One minute later he found a key word: Communication.

He had thought about it before. But now the question was: How was he to establish communication with her in the current circumstances?

He rumbled through the books' information meticulously and still wasn't able to find the answer to his question.

He then grabbed another book and opened it in the page where the index was supposed to be. Instead, he found the following message:

_Ulquiorra, I am sure you're aware you won't find the answer to your inquiries written in a book. I wonder if you understand your actions might lead someone who doesn't know you well to think you're naïve… Anyways, it isn't likely you'll know what to do thinking about it. Because you don't understand Inoue Orihime, you cannot predict the ways in which her reactions will show. Ulquiorra, there is nobody that is entirely prepared to live because no one decides whether they will be born or not. Simultaneously, no one knows what to expect of their life. Life is really an adventure, isn't it? Just like in any adventure, you won't always be given the opportunity to think before acting. Many can say they'll do their best not to act before thinking, but this is an inevitable thing both for humans and you; it is part of every being that can perform actions. And guess what, Ulquiorra… Yes, this is one of those moments in which thinking won't get you anywhere and you just have to try without practicing. In other words, get to her room this instant. Don't stall on your way there and don't think about what to say. When it comes to it, you should know what you must do or say naturally._

While this is something that could've freaked out many, this only made him wonder with even more interest who this woman that was suddenly manipulating the strings of his life and thoughts could possibly be. She definitely _wasn't_ human.

_I cannot simply do that. It's not rational and it can only lead to more confusion and more undesirable situations._ – He refused mentally.

He then placed that book back on the shelves. Maybe he'd get rid of it later. He took another book and opened it in a random page; where what he found said:

_Yare, yare… Feeling rebellious, Ulquiorra? One wouldn't think this coming from you. But it just so happens I'm not 'one'. The punishment for rebels is to amuse me. That is why, dear Ulquiorra, you either get out of this room in ten seconds or something amusing will happen. Of course, only I will find it amusing. It'll be a bit of a different story for you. ^^_

Was she threatening him?

'_Something amusing'? I don't understand this woman in the least yet she says the one I should try to understand is Aizen's prisoner. I cannot let her do with me as she pleases. Just what am I to her? Why would she help me be 'happy'? Is she doing this all for her own amusement, then? What is this favor she talked about? What is it that I could've done in the past? (…) If only I could remember anything at all…_

Suddenly, a small piece of paper fell on top of his head.

He looked up and his eyes only saw the usual white ceiling. Where had that paper fallen from?

He noticed something was written in it, just like a fortune cookie paper. It read 'Time's up. Lucky numbers: 4'

'_Time's up.'?_

Before he could say anything else inwardly, music far from belonging to his taste and two human girls appeared into his room by no clear explanation; though people that believe in fantasy could say they appeared by magic. But that wasn't the main problem. The dark and blond-haired girls were barely wearing clothes; just some red and black rags to _partially_ cover their chest and butts. Moreover and way more importantly, they were dancingmorally indecently _around_ him; invading completely his personal space.

Ulquiorra's eye twitched as his only reaction. But inwardly, he was experiencing havoc. The way they danced, the way they were dressed, their faces covered with heavy make-up; making them look indecent and artificial, the music playing…It all disgusted him. He felt greatly disgusted about this all but yet he was frozen in motion. Among all the chaos inside his mind, he was blank about what to do or how to react. He was about to push them away from him…But this was not all this particularly uncomfortable situation was to bring towards him.

Just like the two dancing girls had, another person 'poofed' into his room.

-Heh? Well, I'm surprised, Ulquiorra. – He said with his grin getting even wider. – I hadn't seen this side of ya. I like it.

He then walked and tapped on the blonde girl's shoulder. She turned around and he could have a better look at her; even though his eyes were closed as usual.

She was a buxom, blonde girl with clear blue eyes. She was reminiscent of someone to him but this girl's plastic beauty certainly couldn't be compared to that of someone's. Nobody's could, at least not to his eyes. Who knows what was it about that someone that he knew he'd never find anyone that he could like better.

Despite the nature of his thoughts, his grin never disappeared. It never did.

-So darling, show me your moves. – He said.

She laughed and danced around him.

Why? Why did Gin Ichimaru had to appear in his room? Ulquiorra would've much preferred that to be Nnoitra or even Grimmjow!

Apparently, someone had read his mind…Again.

All of a sudden, both Nnoitra and Grimmjow appeared into his bedroom…But Gin was there too.

-Huh? What the hell?! – Grimmjow exclaimed. – Why did I just appear in this place?

Both him and Nnoitra looked around. Everything was neat, dull, white, there was a bookcase that looked as if it would explode with books any minute. They both got to the same conclusion mentally: This _had_ to be Ulquiorra's room.

They looked around more and noticed Gin dancing with a human buxom girl in revealing red clothes and Ulquiorra was staring at them, frozen, while a girl in black hair and a black costume was dancing around him.

Nnoitra grinned.

-Well, Ulquiorra, I confess you got me. I really thought you were just the dull pet of Aizen. This is pretty interesting.

He then took the girl that danced around Ulquiorra and got her to dance around him.

Ulquiorra was only partially relieved to have his space back but felt disgusted. He already had her scent of smoke and cigarettes all over him.

-Human girls are just as meaningless as other humans but this is about the only thing they're interesting at. – Nnoitra spoke with a perverted voice.

-Yeah, this might be slightly interesting, but I freaking hate you, Ulquiorra. I refuse to be in this area that stinks like you…

As he was speaking, he trailed off when a box of pizza 'mysteriously' appeared in front of him. You could tell his mouth was watering.

Without saying another thing or even looking at whom he considered his rival, he started devouring the pizza. Yeah, he'd never forget the fateful day in which he found a slice near a soul he had just devoured at the Human Realm in one of the many times he sneaked on Aizen. He had only tried a piece because it looked really good. He wished he could try some more and now he had a whole box for himself.

-Humans eat real disgusting things sometimes. – He said between bites with his mouth full; much to Ulquiorra's already disturbed nerves. – But you know? They also have freaking good stuff!

This was pretty much outrage. His room was a place he considered private. There had never been anyone other than him in there before that woman appeared in his life. He suddenly recalled her message and could even hear her voice saying: _The __punishment__ of rebels is to amuse me._ Well, if this wasn't punishment, then the only other name he could think of was 'torture'. This was unbearable.

He knew just who was to blame for this all and also knew what to do in order to get out of this all. Although reluctant to go there because he didn't know what to do or say yet, even that human's presence was preferable over this trio's.

Without looking at either person in that room, he walked to the exit and closed the door behind him.

He laid his back against the door for a second. It was silent and quiet outside and it felt nice.

In the wall opposite to his door, there was an engraved message:

_I told you you wouldn't find it amusing. ^^_

Below the message was an arrow pointing towards the direction he didn't want to go.

Ulquiorra was a very patient person but now he was inwardly struggling to keep his composure. This woman had actually managed to make him sense anger. He only recalled one other person getting him this upset, that was the very man who had ended his existence as an Arrancar.

He resigned himself to go to where the arrow pointed. He guessed that if he did otherwise, she'd do another 'amusing' thing; which he had learnt he did _not_ like in the least.

Other than annoying, that situation in his room had also made him feel a strange and foreign sensation. He didn't know what future awaited Gin, but he knew what would be of the other two. Although he wasn't sure if Grimmjow had died yet when he had, he knew he'd be defeated and knew Nnoitra had long met his end. Had he gone to Soul Society? Either way, those two were always idiots to his eyes.

All three of them were not people he liked having around. Gin Ichimaru's undying grin per se disturbing but what he said and the way he said it sometimes made him believe he knew something he shouldn't.

Both Nnoitra and Grimmjow were always obsessed with fighting to become stronger. Nnoitra to defeat Neliel Tu Oderschvank and Grimmjow to defeat him. Both of them had annoying laughter and arrogance. Perhaps what made Grimmjow Jeagerjaques only slightly less undesirable than Nnoitra Jiruga was that he had some degree of honor. Grimmjow would always seek to become strong by defeating others and never allowed his Fraccion to interfere in any of his battles. He took his opponents seriously and would think of nothing else other than becoming stronger. He also refused to fight someone that was already too hurt while he was fine. But Nnoitra, although he didn't really let Tesla interfere with his battles either, didn't display honor in that aspect. Nnoitra, like Grimmjow, wanted to be strong but he also loved the feeling of power and destruction. Either way, he still didn't like either of them. Nnoitra was always too simple minded. He never realized there were many ways in which he could become stronger but he firmly insisted on doing things in the one way he knew the former Tercera didn't approve. Grimmjow's attitude towards Aizen wasn't respectful enough from his point of view and the way his eyes would look after every fight was always the same. They were expectant. It was as if he was expecting some answer to come to him by being victorious. In a way, Grimmjow wanted more out of his life but didn't know what to expect or how to know that. Perhaps that was the reason he wanted to survive so desperately.

Ulquiorra was musing about that all and suddenly realized something. He sounded as if he were envious of them. That was illogical. What was there to envy about those two? They were inferior to him in rank as Espada; even though he could've ranked higher if Aizen had seen just to what extent his powers could get. He was definitely stronger and more powerful than them. He had Aizen's favor over them. He was obviously smarter than them. Just what could he possibly envy about those two?

His CD of thoughts was changed as the door to her room came into sight.

He stood in front of her door without an idea of what to do. That woman had mentioned he should apologize, though… But how?

Yet another fortune cookie paper was falling from above. He grabbed it and looked above. Again, all he found was the usual ceiling. Just what kind of powers did she have? He read the paper.

_Go inside, already. Because you amused me greatly, I'll be nice for now and not force you to apologize right away but you do have a deadline, Ulquiorra. Now, you won't get anything done while facing the door. Just be cool and remember not to see things objectively and with an eye that judges for how logic things are. Because this situation involves you, you must allow yourself to be subjective._

He sighed to himself and knocked the door thrice before coming in.

There she was, staring outside the window. Her head only half turned in his direction before looking at the eternal moon again. She was avoiding eye contact. He stared at her form illuminated by moonlight for a few moments.

The silence in the environment was heavy and tense. She kept staring outside vehemently and he knew the reason.

-They won't arrive in a while. – He told her.

She turned towards him. She expected him to be angry about the slap. She herself was surprised at what she had done; it was unlike her. Still she didn't regret it. He didn't seem mad to her eyes.

_Can he even feel anything?_ – She wondered.

-What do you mean? – She asked confused.

-Your friends. You're waiting for them to come but they won't arrive yet. It'll take them a while.

-How can you know that? – She asked.

-I just do.

Something felt wrong about him. In the short time she had observed him, it was in her understanding he was not the kind to say anything without basis. So he did believe in premonitions after all?

-I thought you had said it wasn't logical to say anything that's not fundamented. – She defied.

-I do have a basis on what I said. – He retaliated with slightly narrower eyes. – It's just that I cannot tell you what it is.

-Why should I believe anything you say?

He used Sonido to appear right in front of her.

She was slightly surprised but still looked at him with defiant eyes. This wasn't the first time she looked at him like that and now he could confirm he didn't like that look when upon him.

-How can you do it? – He asked the question that had been on his mind for some time now.

-How do I do what? – She felt confused by how he just changed the topic.

-How can you simply trust others? Humans tend to betray with relative ease when they think it's best for them. Is it that you do not fear betrayal?

-My friends would not betray me. – She defended firmly.

-How can you be sure of that? – He asked with his probing green eyes directly looking at her bluish-grey ones.

-Because I've been with them long enough to know that. – She didn't blink in his presence.

-That cannot guarantee they won't end up hurting you to their benefit.

-And how can you tell you won't be used by Aizen in the end? – She defied again.

-Aizen – Sama. You cannot address him without his suffix. – He scolded.

-I've heard you call him without his suffix before. – She retaliated.

His fist loudly closed.

She gazed down, as if preparing to receive the hit but she didn't show remorse for having said those words either.

It was his duty to take care of her and keep her in line, but that method was not going to get him anywhere to understanding her. Now, he wouldn't have minded so before, but now that he knew what would become of him, he was starting to take duty differently. He didn't really know what to think of himself anymore. Could he still consider himself a servant of Aizen? Did he really not believe in him anymore?

She was past confusion. The Arrancar that was standing in her very front with little space between them was puzzling. When he kidnapped her, he looked at her like a clearly inferior being. Then when he gave her the white clothes she wore, he seemed confused himself. Then when he led her to the room where Aizen showed her the Hogyoku, he seemed like a different person already. A while ago, he was acting more like the time when he brought her here and now he was here asking questions out of curiosity. Now, what? Was he going to get violent and hit her?

_Kurosaki – Kun…_ - She called in thought to give herself endurance and strength. Whenever he thought of him, she couldn't help feeling admiration for how much he can endure; not just pain, but so many other things. She recalled how he used to be before Rukia Kuchiki appeared in his life to change it. His frown was more noticeable and he seemed to carry a huge sadness over his shoulders while pretending to be strong. But now he no longer had to pretend, he _was_ strong for real. She couldn't help admiring how much determination he had out of mere friendship. _I know they'll come._

Finally, Ulquiorra kept his cool and calmed himself. Suppressing her was not going to let him communicate with her. To establish some relation with her in which he could communicate in order to observe was his current goal.

-I am in a different position than you, woman. – He answered earnestly.

Orihime looked at him with wide eyes but also relieved he was not showing aggressiveness.

-And I am aware Aizen…Sama is using us for his purposes but I serve him out of gratitude for power and to survive.

Orihime's gaze lowered.

-And you're OK with that? – She asked unexpectedly.

-I don't have to be alright with it if that's what it takes to continue existing.

-I don't think it's right to subject others to an obey-or-die situation…! – She said. – Then why keep living if that's all you can expect of life?

-We are not humans. We don't have that kind of feelings.

-Then you think you're machines that have no personal desires or goals?

-Having desires or goals comes after survival. It is basic for that survival to come only those that are strong. And because we're different, the way we reach our own goals is different than the methods you humans use.

-That is why I know my friends will come. – She said.

-How is that even related to my statement, woman?

-With my friends, we support each other because we care for each other's lives. If one has a wound, we heal it. If one isn't strong, they're protected. Our relationships are not that of obey-or-die, but fight-to-protect. We've endured things together and we've developed the wish of everyone's wellbeing. We've fought to protect that before and I know we will always fight for that principle! Because things are not like that here, you do not understand it. – She didn't understand where she was getting so many guts from but she was grateful she had them.

If Ulquiorra was not Ulquiorra, he would've gasped.

So it all came down to them living in different contexts? Was the answer so simple?

-Having done things before does not assure that they will always be done that way.

She looked away.

-You wouldn't understand.

-Woman, my intelligence is superior to yours. How could I not understand?

-Because you don't believe in feelings. – She said as she turned to him.

Her words were as serious as her expression.

He looked away a second. Something about the weight of her expression felt uncomfortable to him.

-I don't have feelings like humans do. I let go of that long ago.

-I cannot believe that. – She said. – I can only believe you don't realize you do and therefore don't express them.

That expression she wore was only getting more intense. He didn't know how to react anymore or what to say.

He furrowed with his closed hand the side of his hakama.

This side of her was strong-willed and unbreakable.

He turned 90 degrees to look away from her.

-For a human, you turned out to be interesting, woman. – He told her before completely giving his back to her and walking to the door.

-Why do you insist in calling me 'woman'? I feel like an object. – She said.

-It is not my obligation to make you feel good, woman. – He said as he exited the room.

Orihime sighed heavily. Forget her confusion about that mysterious man that made no sense, she was no longer sure what she herself was saying.

_What happened just here? I had told myself I wouldn't tell him a word next time I saw him. Yet I feel I spoke too much. Why was he asking me that? Was he curious? Does he feel curiosity, then? Why did he even come here just now? He acts as if he had a personality issue… Just what does he want from me? Is there something he wants to do to me? Is he trying to confuse me and manipulate me…? I cannot let that happen. I know Kurosaki – Kun and the others will come… Will he understand why I trust them then? And why do I feel uneasy when he calls me 'woman'? Ulquiorra Schiffer… Was it me or did he smell like smoke and cigarettes? Do Arrancar smoke?_

She then turned again to the barred window to observe the moon that never disappeared to muse. But this time, her thoughts were occupied by that mysterious character. What was she supposed to believe of him? She despised him yet she couldn't help herself and eventually found herself thinking too much about him as she tried to figure him out.


	5. Emotions

Dedicated to Bella, for reviewing and favoriting. Bella, I know you're going through something difficult but don't worry. Your story is better than hers and I won't forgive her, either. To my eyes, you're a great and devoted writer and hope this doesn't stop you. And yeah, in last chapter I was hinting for GinRan. I love that pairing! Unfortunately, there aren't many chances of it happening. :( Oh well, we can always choose an alternative for Rangiku. ^^ I chose Hisagi.

**Emotions**

A puzzled Orihime Inoue was behind the door a nearly and inexplicably overwhelmed Ulquiorra laid his back against.

What had just happened in that room?

_What was I thinking…? _– He questioned himself. – _I wasn't thinking anything…_

-To not think is key to acting before thinking, Ulquiorra. – A voice he really didn't want to hear said.

Ulquiorra turned to where the voice had come from.

She wore her grayish brown hair down and her body was covered by a white bathroom robe and her feet wore fluffy slippers.

Anyone other than him would've raised an eyebrow.

-What's with that look, Ulquiorra? – She asked him grinning with a hand on her hip. – I just finished my shift and you should thank me I postponed my bath to come and congratulate you for making some progress.

-Progress? – He asked skeptical. – Just like I predicted, this only led to more confusion and undesirable situations.

-Who ever said that progress is supposed to move you to a comfortable zone, Ulquiorra? – She questioned. – How can you not see the progress? You didn't scream at each other this time, so you should see that as something. Now, what have you learned this time?

-I don't understand what just happened in that room. How could I have learned anything?

-Why, that's too bad. – She shook her head disapprovingly. – Ulquiorra, you did learn something. Every time we talk with a person it is inevitable to gain knowledge about that person's being. Like I quoted before, life is not meant to be understood and to just be revised backwards, but to be lived while moving forward. Even if you don't really understand the process that got you to a piece of information, that doesn't necessarily make the information unreliable. The communication you should establish with her to understand her overall being does not require you to critically understand _how_ you came to that point. What matters is that you get there. Now, without thinking that what you say might be wrong or not, tell me, what have you learned?

-She has too much trust in others.

-That might actually be an accurate observation, Ulquiorra. – She smiled. – What else?

-She does not even consider betrayal from others as a possibility. She's illogical.

-Uh-uh! – She warned him. – Don't go there again, Ulquiorra Schiffer! I thought it was already clear that this is not about logic. Or are you saying you can find a logic way to explain your current circumstances?

-Are you implying you're not an existence that obeys logic?

-My existence itself is hardly believable, but I find it logical once I remember who I am.

-Who are you?

-You're starting to sound like a broken record; and a very boring one, Ulquiorra. – She complained.

-Then can you tell me _what_ are you?

-I am not really sure in which group I'd fall into. I can only confirm what you already suspect. I am not a common being. I am neither human, shinigami, hollow or Arrancar…I'm not a Bount either.

-A Bount?

-Are you familiar with them?

-No but I have read about them.

-Heh? And they're supposed to be confidential. Soul Society shouldn't take pride in their security system like they do.

-That system cannot counteract Aizen's influence.

-That is true.

-How is it that you know of them?

-I simply know a lot of things. – She grinned.

-You are very careful when avoiding giving me any hints of information about you.

-It is not yet time for you to know information about me, Ulquiorra.

-Why do you help me, woman?

-Ugh, Ulquiorra; you really are a handful for my patience, did you know that? – She purposely made her exaggerations obvious while playful. - I'll only repeat things to you once more. I am not 'woman'. I am not just someone you can address like an object merely because I am not one. And for the umpteenth time: I owe you a favor.

-Why is it that both you and Orihime Inoue find it offensive? In the end, that's what you are.

-Well, Ulquiorra, now you're the one who's not making sense. Since when do objects and beings having a common name deny them the right to be addressed properly?

-There shouldn't be a difference.

-There _is_ a difference. – She said gravely without breaking eye contact; her cerulean eyes were void black and impossible not to look at. – Perhaps you cannot understand that because you don't believe in emotions.

His eyes broadened slightly.

-Yes, I am aware that's similar to what Orihime – San said to you and I agree.

-I do not find sense in those words.

-What few people know is that emotions and feelings are not the same thing. Feelings are the responses to emotions. Hence, they are, nonetheless, related. What both Orihime – San and I mean is that because you consider most emotions irrational, you do not like to express your own; that is, to show your feelings; which has gotten you dearly handicapped at expressing yourself and has led you to believe you don't have but a few. You think you've let go of most of them a long time ago, when you were a hollow; you say that despite not remembering a thing about those days. – Ulquiorra frowned slightly as his lips also parted though not noticeably.

_How does she know that? How does she know anything about me in the first place? This woman…_

-Because you deny the existence of your own, you obviously have trouble acknowledging others' as anything else than illogical and useless. But that has given you yet another disadvantage; you cannot empathize if someone else mentions that their reasons are their emotions and feelings. That is why you don't accept her arguments as valid. To be able to understand what she describes, you must be able to imagine it. But not anyone can imagine what they are not familiar with. Because you don't remember having feelings, you aren't familiar with them. That, Ulquiorra, is the root of all your confusion.

-You… - He was, as hard as it is to believe, speechless.

-The reason I know things about you is part of the package I cannot give you details about. Don't even bother asking, Ulquiorra.

-You still haven't proved that I have emotions. There is nothing that proves I do.

-Well, you can feel anger, frustration, serenity and indifference among some other kinds of sensations, right?

-Yes.

-That's about all we need to prove that. Basing myself on that fact, I can accurately say you have feelings, Ulquiorra. – Her smile grew vivid and amused.

-That does not mean I can share the same kind of emotions as humans do.

-You're forgetting you, in theory, were once human, though you cannot remember.

-Because I cannot remember, it must have been too long ago.

-Is that so? – Her grin grew suspicious to his eyes.

-Yes and that can explain why I don't feel anything else.

-That is not true, Ulquiorra. I cannot say we all have experienced all of the existing sensations. There are too many to describe, perhaps more than infinity. However, when we talk about emotions, we only think about the ones we're familiar with. Mankind and souls wise are far from knowing all of the emotions they can perceive. And even if we reduce that great number to the common emotions like sadness, happiness, surprise, excitement, confusion, pain, disgust, fear, anger, etcetera, we still cannot say everyone has experienced everything. You have only experienced a limited number of emotions. Nonetheless, I can assure you that we were all made equal in emotions. We all are capable of feeling each and every single emotion there is. But our circumstances, which accompany us since birth, can only allow us to feel a specific set of them. Some people get to experience more than others but in the end, everyone had the chance to experience them equally. The longer we live, the more chances we get to live through more of them and learn new feelings. Even if your life has been as long as you think it has been, because your memory is relatively short, you only recall what you've lived in a small percentage of your life. Right now, you can neither assure nor deny what you felt and what you didn't in that lapse of your life you see blank. So, Ulquiorra, I cannot confirm to you that you have experienced different emotions than the ones you know now; at least not in a way you'd believe me. Still, I can definitely tell you that you are capable of all kinds of emotions. Nobody's perception of them is limited enough to just be capable of 3 or 4 like you. But sealing your expression has placed you in your current position. This is the toll of your actions. But well, like the human you once were, you make mistakes and you have to pay for them; pay for the lessons they teach you.

She then closed her eyes for five seconds while smiling; freeing him from the spell of her gaze that felt like hindrances all over his soul.

-Well, I guess the bathtub must be full by now. – She then turned and her hair waved with her action; making it easy to see how long it was, reaching all the way to her lower back. – Go rest some hours, Ulquiorra. I think you've had enough excitement for one day…or night. – She joked.

-I cannot go back there… - He said with a dreadful tone. (A change in his voice that can get as noticeable as Ulquiorra can let it be.)

-Oh, do you mean you don't like parties, Ulquiorra? – She grinned laughing. – Don't worry about that. They went back to where I abducted them from when you exited the room.

-What you did was too stupid for someone like you. – He said with narrowed eyes.

-But it was funny! – She made a fake angelic face. – Besides, I found out you're more amusing than I thought you'd be. I might feel like playing with you another time. – Her angelic face went devilish.

Ulquiorra could've shuddered were it not because of his enviable self-control.

-How shall I explain to Aizen…Sama what happened in my private room?

-What, you're still trying to add the suffix to his name? – She raised an eyebrow. – Gee, Ulquiorra, you're among the most helpless cases I've seen. Save those efforts cause I don't really care how you address him. – She rolled her eyes. - And don't worry about a thing. – She grinned again and raised her right forearm to show him her thumb and index finger making a circle to tell him everything was OK. – The moment they disappeared from you room, they forgot everything and kept on doing whatever they were doing before without a clue about them losing 5 minutes of memories. The human girls returned to their dancing bar the same way. – Her grin widened naughtily. – I thought you were going to like that, Ulquiorra.

-It was disgusting. – He told her. – Because of them dancing like the brainless and idle humans they are, I now smell like them and it's not a bearable scent. I do not understand how there are humans pathetic enough to find pleasure in that. People that make a living that way don't tend to have useful qualities to offer nor do they have anything in their minds that I'd desire to know about.

-Aw, aren't you sweet! – She said with big eyes and her hand covering her lips.

-I will not let you call me sweet, woman. – He said with the same tone he had scolded Orihime hours before.

-If you think I'll get tired of correcting you about the 'woman' pronoun, you're wrong. – She smirked.

-That adjective is not fitting for me. I am an Arrancar. My nature is that of a hollow.

-Most believe hollows are called by that name because they have a hole that substitutes their heart.

-Is that not the case?

-It is, but the meaning of those words is commonly misunderstood. It is not because of the hole itself. That sentence has a figurative sense to it. Although the emotions that make beings human take place in an area of the brain, people commonly relate it to the heart because its beats signal when we are worried, in love, sad, serene or afraid. Hollows are like animals because they guide themselves on instinct. But animals can feel pain too. Emotions on them are not complex like they are in humans and can only feel a basic and limited amount of them. Because they are considered empty inside, they are called 'hollows'. But just like in the Human Realm, the more complex the creature, the more intelligent it is. Hollows go through evolution as they advance from Menos and Gillian to Adjuchas and Vasto Lorde. While Menos and Gillian are mostly instinct-based, the moment a hollow reaches Adjuchas level, they become more aware of their surroundings and their survival and they develop a memory. With a more developed mind, it is inevitable to have wishes and desires. Along with those, come more emotions and the ability to express feelings noticeably. You are supposed to have been a Vasto Lorde in the past, correct? Being an Arrancar, Ulquiorra, does not impede you from experiencing the same emotions as humans do. That is why you _can_ understand Orihime – San, but you just have to try hard. That is basic to achieve anything. What you must do to reach that goal is to try hard and to _want_ to reach it.

-To want to do it? – He asked her, still under her trance.

-That is a step you have already surpassed, Ulquiorra. – She smiled. – Yes, you did need a hundred pushes from me, but you are doing it and you have tried and thought about it endlessly. You do want to understand Inoue Orihime, Ulquiorra. Now the hardest part is to do it but if you have the will and wish, it shouldn't be impossible.

She finally walked away as she said those words.

How was she going to take a bath without being discovered? Though she had already proved she had the powers to disappear when she had too…

Ulquiorra's sighed and walked to his bedroom. He only opened the door a bit and peeked inside as to make sure she had really gotten rid of the unwanted crowd. When he confirmed she had, he fully entered and closed the door behind him.

He walked around and felt slightly astonished to see even the disgusting smell of the dancing girls was gone.

He brought his right forearm close to his face and sniffed his sleeve. He scowled in displeasure. Unfortunately, he still smelled like smoke and cigarettes.

The Espada were given the privilege of having their own private bathrooms so as to not have to use the ones all Fraccion, Privaron and other lower numbers used.

He opened a door that was next to his bookcase and behind it was a simple white bathroom with a shower, tub and a sink.

He stripped out of his upper clothing and threw it into a laundry basket.

His chest was uncovered when he slid open the curtain to turn the faucet on. But he found the tub was already filled with water…And someone else.

-Ah, Ulquiorra. – She said as she turned to him. – You wanted to join me? Too bad, because I'm nearly finished here.

Ulquiorra froze. His left eye twitched as the hot water and the vapor coming from it were not enough to cover her naked body.

-Ulquiorra, are you going to stare all night? – She grinned widely; holding back her laughter.

-What the hell… - Ulquiorra's husky voice said as his face revealed he was upset.

-Well, the public baths are too crowded for my taste. – She answered bluntly as if it were obvious.

-Do you not have any decency, woman?! – He shouted at her as he slid closed the curtain angrily.

He was walking away as she corrected him:

-'Woman' is not my name, Ulquiorra. – She nagged nonchalantly.

He slammed the door closed and laid his bare back against it. What was happening to him? It was harder to breathe and he had never acted like that before… He wasn't thinking before acting in the least. Was he experiencing embarrassment?

Back at the bathtub, she smirked.

-Yare, yare. Was that expression of embarrassment and anger, Ulquiorra? – She told him loud enough for him to hear at the other side.

She then stood up, dried herself with a towel and put on the robe she had set aside in some place where Ulquiorra hadn't seen it earlier.

Ulquiorra felt the door being opened and walked forward without turning to see her.

-It's OK, Ulquiorra. – She smiled. – I'm wearing a robe.

He slowly turned his head and only saw her with the corner of his eye, as if to make sure she wasn't lying, and then turned completely and stared madly at her.

-Perhaps I am indecent but it was worth it because I proved to you I was right. – She then pointed at his visible hole with her index finger. – What you just did was to express your feelings. You no longer have an excuse as to think either me or Orihime – San are wrong. Unlike a hollow, you are not empty because you can have emotions. That hole below your throat is only a mark now and nothing else.

-You… - Ulquiorra could hardly believe it but what could he say when she had proved him wrong undoubtedly?

-Oh, but that was rather amusing. – She then grinned mischievously. – I told you you were a sweet guy, Ulquiorra.

-I am not, woman.

-It's not woman! – She corrected with a playful grimace.

Ulquiorra entered the bathroom and closed the door. He drained the water on the tub and turned the faucet on again to fill it with new and cleaner water.

Someone else had used his bathroom. He didn't like the idea of using it now but he was very disgusted at his scent already and really wanted to wash it off.

He took off the rest of his clothes and sat down at the tub with a sigh.

He splashed some water at his face and hair. (The part that wasn't covered by the remnants of his mask anyways.)

He vigorously washed all of his body and stopped when he was happy with his neutral odorless skin.

He placed his back was against the wall and he gazed up at the ceiling in deep thought. He thought about everything that was happening. He had never had so many questions. Albeit the mysterious female gave him the most, he couldn't stop repeating to himself the ones concerning the female he wished he understood even when his end was coming to him.

He still couldn't understand very well the reason she had so much faith in her human friends or Kurosaki Ichigo.

But then, he realized there were many different actions humans did that he couldn't quite understand. So then, if he came to be able to experience those emotions, would he see things clearly? But now the question was: How?

Inside his mind, he replayed everything Orihime Inoue had told him in his last visit to her room.

He had acted different than usual. He had been almost impulsive as he got that close to her with Sonido.

There was something about the proximity with her that felt strange and he was curious about that. How come he himself had made her invade his personal space? What was it that he wanted to see from up close? Her face? Her eyes? Her voice? Her posture?

He came to the conclusion that needed to spend more time near her to be able to find answers. He really had no idea how to act in front of her. Would he have to act before thinking again? He didn't like the sensation of not knowing what would happen. He was the analytic type of fighter and speaker. But this was no battle or a report for Aizen. He didn't even know what to call that situation.

He recalled yet again his acts in that room and how he was so close to her he even sensed the smell of her hair. No human smells like flowers as so many cheesy writers and poets say, but her hair smelled nice. Not like flowers or strawberries, just nice.

_Did she perceive my scent of smoke and cigarettes, too?_


	6. Reactions Matter

Dedicated to Mizuki's Star, September09, UlquiorraxOrihime, hitokiri angel, fuzzibuniez, wutai flea and WesternMistress for reviewing, The Agent of Chaos, kaisen fangirl and forsaken-angel6 for favoriting, and Princess-Christina-Ark, Lilac Flames and MillieEllie for alerting. I see a lot of you have come to be fond of my OC. I'm glad! Some already wonder who she is… Well… That will be a question I'll let in your head for a good while. Bwahahaha!

**Reactions Matter**

Ulquiorra got dressed with a new set of clothes, which looked exactly the same as the one he had before, and lied in his bed. Arrancar didn't need to sleep but they still could; just like they didn't need to eat human food but could eat it anyways.

He knew perfectly well what he had to do but he just couldn't muster enough will as to enter that room willingly, especially because he knew it'd be uncomfortable. That was understandable; few face situations that make them uneasy by sheer will. Motives are necessary in these cases. His motive was that he wanted to understand her. But motives are hardly enough. Willpower and determination are needed, something that will push the beings to act and that will constantly remind them of their wish. Ulquiorra lacked the will and determination required because he didn't even know why he wanted to understand Orihime Inoue in the first place.

He was developing anxiety from all his unanswered questions and because he knew it was likely the amount of them would only increase and that the answers would not be found in books, he dreaded entering the prisoner's room. However, he figured that, sooner or later, he'd have to enter. Whether Aizen asked him to or that mysterious and almost scary woman kicked him inside, he'd have to see her again. Why so much uneasiness about a hardly-threatening human girl? Was this fear? While it sounded like fear, he strongly doubted that was it. Oh, wonderful. Now he was increasing the number of questions all by himself. Regardless of everything else, there was just one way and one only to obtain answers; even hints would be helpful.

He stood up and left his dull lifeless room and headed towards Inoue Orihime's direction.

He knocked her door thrice. No answer was received. He didn't expect one anyways; that was merely an announcement of his incoming presence.

He opened the door. She was standing and facing the barred window with the moon rays falling above her as the only source of light she had access to. It was the same scene every time he entered; she was starting to look like a picture.

Her neck turned a few degrees. He could tell her left eye's corner was glancing at him.

_Now what?_ – She wondered, both alarmed and authentically curious.

Ulquiorra had nothing remotely close to an idea of what to say or do next. He simply stared at her figure's back in silence.

With no better idea of what to do, he decided to simply observe.

He went ahead and sat at the couch against the wall. His head was looking in her direction. No words were given.

Orihime almost raised an eyebrow. She turned her entire body around to face him. He could not see her face very well because of the darkness of the room and the moon shining in the background. On the other hand, she could see his naturally pallid face fairly well.

-What are you doing? – She asked softly; her voice was neutral and struggling to remain calm.

-I am observing you. – He answered bluntly.

-Did Aizen tell you to?

-'Aizen – Sama'; that is the way you must address him, woman.

-But you don't always address him as 'Sama', either.

-We've had that talk before, woman. – His voice straightforward and, because he was not comfortable in that environment, it seemed as if he was running out of patience. – We are not in the same level; you are a prisoner and I am an Espada.

Orihime glanced in another direction and did not reply anything to his words. But when she looked at him again, her eyes shone with a completely different light.

-I will not be held prisoner here forever. My friends will come.

-I do not doubt they will, but if you think they can just take you back without getting a scratch, you're wrong, woman. Even if they reach far and even if it looks for an instant as if they will win, they will not stand a chance the moment they're before Aizen. No matter how much it is in their favor, they will not succeed to defeat him. Aizen's power is above theirs and Soul Society's.

-Kurosaki – Kun will never lose. – She defied firmly.

Ulquiorra nearly frowned. He felt a strange sensation each time she called Kurosaki Ichigo's name. He did not like it one bit.

-Why do you always address him in the same way, woman?

-What do you mean? – Orihime was taken aback with that unexpected question.

-Why do you never call him 'Ichigo'? Isn't that his name? If he is your friend, then why are you so formal when addressing him?

Orihime blushed.

-K-Kurosaki – Kun… - She stuttered flushed.

-I dare you to call him by his given name. – Ulquiorra defied out of the blue.

Orihime stared at him, both confused and in disbelief. _To call him by his given name? How am I going to do that? (…) Why don't I have the courage to?_

-I… I will not. – She opposed weakly.

Ulquiorra stood up and approached her with silent steps.

Orihime gazed at him astounded. For some reason, being only steps away from him did not feel scary or threatening..

-I don't understand why. – He said.

Her bluish-gray eyes were attentively staring at his forest green ones.

-I don't understand why you think you can't. It should be within your verbal capacity. Why can't you pronounce a mere name, woman?

-Then, why can't you pronounce _my_ name, Ulquiorra Schiffer? – She defied with the same intensity with which she insisted her friends would come.

Now the Espada was taken aback.

Orihime could not tell for sure, but she could swear she saw his forest green irises contract and dilate in a split second.

Ulquiorra couldn't believe himself. Why was he so shocked? She had only pronounced his name…For the first time…

_Names?_ – He thought. – _Why? It's just my own name… Why would it be any different depending on who calls it?_

-My name is not 'woman'. If it is so easy to call someone by their given name, then why can't you call me 'Orihime'? – She pressed.

Ulquiorra did the unthinkable. He gave a step back. (!) Nothing before had ever made him give a step back, not even when he received Ichigo's Getsuga Tenshou. Au contraire, he tried to push his attack back with one and then with two hands.

Even Orihime looked surprised. Even she knew that Ulquiorra was not the kind to back off easily. She was bemused about why she would know that, though. It's not like she had actually witnessed his fighting power…Right?

Ulquiorra stared into her firm eyes. There it was again, that strong-willed side that he found fascinating…Not that he'd ever admit that out loud. Indeed, this human girl was interesting, unlike other boring and simple-minded humans. She couldn't possibly be normal if a glare alone made him step back.

But regardless of how fascinating things were, he was still uneasy about her words.

-I'll repeat to you it is not my duty to please you. You are a prisoner and my job is to merely make sure you are well. I will not call a human by her name because, in the end, all humans are trash.

Orihime's eyes showed his words reached her and her lips gawked. She was speechless.

Ulquiorra's chest felt funny and he decided to end things there, refusing to look into those hurt eyes any longer.

He closed the door behind him, locking her another time in that dark room.

She knew she had used her argument as a shield. She didn't want to acknowledge it, but she was in the same position as him. Why couldn't she just say Kurosaki – Kun's name? It was just a name…Just a name and nothing more…

_So he thinks I'm trash, too? _– She mused without realizing she had changed the subject of her thoughts from orange and hazel to black and emerald. – _What is my life in your eyes, Ulquiorra Schiffer? Trash, I suppose. Why do you ask questions as if trying to understand me if I'm just trash to you? I don't understand you either. I cannot rely on anyone here except for myself. I must destroy the Hogyoku… I want to be useful to Kurosaki…Kun and the others. (…) Why does he not deny they'll come? What is he hiding?_

Before she knew it, she was again standing below the moon's light that managed to pierce through the barred window.

Ulquiorra, for the first time, gave a sigh of relief when he was outside of that asphyxiating room.

_Why? She's a human. She cannot even give me a scratch? Why did I step back?_

-Seems like you are discovering new things about yourself instead of Orihime – San, Ulquiorra. – A familiar sultry voice said.

Ulquiorra didn't like to hear that voice. That voice meant trouble for his sanity. He turned around, ready to show a hostile glare, but, instead, he lifted both his eyebrows in astonishment.

-Does it suit me? – The enigmatic woman asked playful. – I found it in the laundry.

She then turned around sporting the gray skirt, white blouse, red ribbon, white knee socks and brown shoes that composed Orihime's school uniform. She even had her hair in the same style as the honey blonde girl. All she lacked were the flower hair pins Orihime was still wearing.

-Is this your idea of a joke, woman? – Ulquiorra spoke harshly while turning his head in another direction; his pale cheeks looked livelier than usual.

-It's not 'woman', Ulquiorra. Isn't that what Orihime Inoue just told you?

Ulquiorra's fists closed tightly.

-By the way, you blushing proves what I already proved to you. You're a sweet guy, Ulquiorra. I think it's cute you thought I was Orihime – San for a second.

-I'm not 'cute', woman. – Ulquiorra's husky voice tried to sound upset. And names are just names. They hold no greater significance than for identification purposes.

-Is that so? – She asked with the slight grin he knew. – Well, your own name called by her voice was enough to make you back off, Ulquiorra.

-It was not a voluntary reaction. – He answered after a pause, serious.

-Of course it was not. – She replied, serious too. – But it happened. Your own body language is telling you something, Ulquiorra. You were taken aback by her words. You applied pressure on her but you were the one who was suppressed in the end. They say that what goes around comes around. Ever heard that saying?

-I have. It's got nothing to do with that. My intelligence and strength are superior to hers; she couldn't have possibly intimidated me.

-That does not necessarily mean you were intimidated, Ulquiorra; you were just surprised. More importantly, you should be happy. You are progressing more quickly at last. Finally, I can see the fruits of my hard work. – She smiled. – You were starting to worry me, Ulquiorra.

-Do you seriously believe _that_ was progress? – He sounded angry.

-Well, for once, you mustered courage to go in there without needing me to push you inside, though I was about to. – She playfully gave showed him the thumbs up. – So, what did you learn?

-Apparently, she thinks names are sacred, just like you. – He retaliated.

-Not precisely sacred; they simply hold great importance to us. The fact that her calling your name affected you physically is a wake up call, Ulquiorra. You can no longer believe they are so insignificant.

-What she said to me, she did it to avoid doing what I told her to do. She used her words as a shield because she does not dare to call the man she supposedly loves by his name.

-Not everyone reacts objectively when it comes to the people they love. And I wonder what that 'supposedly' in your sentence means. – Her eyes shone with anticipation.

Ulquiorra paused. He wanted to escape those ocean blue eyes but he knew it was beyond his power to escape from her.

-Well, she claims she loves him. I saw her… That night before she came here, she said goodbye to him. She told him she loved him. – He sounded more upset with each sentence his mouth let out.

-But do _you_ believe she loves Ichigo? – She asked while walking closer.

Ulquiorra looked at her, who stood beyond the limits of personal space. Her expression seemed compassionate.

-Ulquiorra, while you might be close to accepting the fact you can have emotions, I doubt it has crossed your mind what the emotion of love could be, other than a conundrum.

-Love?

-'Love' might be the hardest word to define. – She smiled. – But it's not impossible to do it. And, you know? I've seen humans love others everyday. There are different types of love. I hold no doubt Orihime – San loves her friends and her friends love her back. I have no doubt she loves Ichigo Kurosaki and Ichigo Kurosaki loves her but, as far as I've seen, they are just friends. Regardless of what she might want their relationship to be, it's currently in 'friends mode'.

Ulquiorra stared at her.

-What is your point?

She grinned.

-I think it might be wiser to let you know later. But why does it make you uneasy to know she has feelings for Kurosaki Ichigo?

-It does not make me uneasy. – He frowned.

-Of course it doesn't. – She smiled. – Anyways, what else did you learn?

Ulquiorra knew that woman was up to something with those words. Just how did her mind work?

-Nothing else. – He replied.

-Well, I know there is nothing else to add concerning Orihime - San, but what did you learn about yourself?

-Learn about myself?

-You learned something else, Ulquiorra. What else did your reaction tell you?

-Nothing else. – He insisted.

She sighed.

-Heavens, you are helpless, Ulquiorra! Look through the obvious! The mere fact that you had a reaction to her words at all tells you something!

_It tells me something…?_ – He pondered as he tried to search in his memory everything he had read about reactions. – _A reaction is an extremely rapid psychophysiological response of an organism to a sudden and unexpected stimulus, in this case, that woman's reply… What else is there? What am I missing?_

His eyes widened as he got the emphasis of the key clause in her sentence.

"_The mere fact that you had a reaction to her words __at all__ tells you something!"_ – He quoted mentally. – _The fact that I had a reaction in the first place?_

-Exactly! – The woman with the ability to read minds exclaimed with exaggerated body language. – Ulquiorra, why do you insist on worrying me thus much?

-Why do you give such absurd importance to an involuntary bodily movement?

-You think anyone else would've reacted like you did, Ulquiorra? If it had been Nnoitra Jiruga, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, Tia Harribel or Gin Ichimaru, do you think they would've reacted the same way?

Ulquiorra didn't reply; he didn't know what to.

-You reacted like you did because her words reached you, Ulquiorra. Do you know what that means?

-It simply means my sense of audition works fine.

She glared daggers at him. Few people's glares could affect him. She happened to be included in that minuscule group…

-Is that your idea of a joke, Ulquiorra? – She said with her hands on her hips.

Twice…Twice that night, his words were reflected right back at him. _Is this what superstitious people call 'karma'?_ – He wondered.

The woman in the high school uniform sighed heavily. Even she had limits to her patience.

-OK… Let's move on. – She announced. – Now, Ulquiorra, what does you reacting mean? Answer seriously this time, please.

He stared at her blankly. He _had_ replied seriously the previous time she asked him that question.

They had a staring contest and her frustration made her lose.

-It. Means. You. Care! – She spelled out her sentence.

Once again, that woman's words had a strong impact on him.

-I care? – He still asked.

-Yes! – She bellowed and her voice echoed throughout the hall. – Just like Orihime – San cares about Ichigo's name in a way that she finds herself unable to say it out loud, you care about her name in a way that you can't say her name in her presence!

-I care…About…Her name? – Speechlessness was catching up to him.

-Yes, you do, Ulquiorra Schiffer. – She smiled triumphantly.

He couldn't believe that; that didn't make sense to him.

-Ulquiorra, why do you insist so hard on calling her 'woman'?

-That's what she is.

-You don't call Grimmjow 'arrancar', you don't call Stark 'espada', you don't call Aizen 'shinigami'. Then why call her 'woman' when you know her true name?

Ulquiorra's answer was silence and a stare that revealed he was at the mercy of her mouth.

-Names are not insignificant. Saying one out loud is to acknowledge an existence. – She said. – While Orihime – San's reason are her feelings and yours is different, now you understand a bit more what it is like to not be able to say a name out loud. – She smiled again. – That is why I said you were making progress.

-Orihime Inoue… - He said.

Her lips curled.

-Why, are my ears tricking me? – She asked grinning.

-Her name is Orihime Inoue. – He looked at her gravely and defying, but she was still smiling.

-Ah, so you do know her name! Good. – She played. – Now all that is left is for you to address her like that within the reach of her ears.

He frowned slightly at her response. She looked at Ulquiorra gravely when she took notice of his reluctant expression.

-You do remember your time is limited, correct, Ulquiorra? – She asked him straightforward.

Ulquiorra looked away.

-I know. – He replied.

-Then make use of the tools you obtain in your learning, Ulquiorra. – She replied. – I knew her name well before you said it. Now let her hear your own voice calling her name, just like hers called yours.

-I should not. – He said. – I am her capturer and she is the prisoner. Me calling her name would have a psychological effect that would eventually make her conclude I care about her.

-Don't you? – She asked bluntly. – You are trying to understand her, after all. Not being capable of understanding her was your greatest regret at your last moment. You asked her if she feared you twice. Does that not beckon that you wanted her answer to change? Does that not imply that you cared?

He was wordless. His heart, which still existed, was beating unstably. Another staring contest was held. Her eyes were not going to back off. Her expression was serious and piercing.

-She seems different from other humans. – He answered after a pause. – But that does not mean she matters to me in the least. She's a human after all. Humans are trash in the end.

She ceded as she blinked in purpose. Her face's determination faded.

-You disappoint me, Ulquiorra. – Her whispered words felt like a dagger in the middle of his forehead.

She turned on her heel. Without facing him, she continued:

-Stubbornness does not lead anywhere, you know? – Her words sounded hurt.

Just how had _he_ hurt _her_? Was that even possible? Was it within his power to hurt that woman?

She observed her walking away slowly.

-Think about what it meant for her that you called her trash. – She said without turning to look at him.

He extended his arm in her direction, but before he could ask her anything else, she turned around a corner and disappeared from sight. He felt that if he went after her, he wouldn't find her anymore.

Indeed, she used her powers to disappear at that corner. She was trying to remain recollected as she told herself she'd be during this specific mission she vowed to complete with success.

In truth, she wanted to continue her hourly session with him. She needed to cover more about what he told Orihime, calling her trash, but she just couldn't. She was too upset to look at him with the composure she had to have in order to get to him, so she just left it to him as homework.

After a few minutes, she calmed herself down and grinned sadly.

-My reaction came in anger. That means I care about you getting there, Ulquiorra. – She thought out loud. – So, you better get there.

I apologize for taking too long to update this story. It's just that I seldom get inspired for this one, how strange. So, some of you might have noticed I published a third story called "Code Geass: Snow of the Rebellion". You're welcome to read it. I want you guys to know that that story is my third priority; this one is second, simply because I started it earlier. If it seems sometimes that I update others faster it is merely because of inspiration issues. I said I'd finish this. I've been brainstorming a bit for this one as well. I have the ending planned; I just need to work in the middle a bit. ;) Thank you for being my reader.


	7. Captor and Prisoner

Dedicated to Bokmal16, xXhitsugayaXx, thegoodfolk and roystealer for alerting, to Ryuma Omega and blackrose914 for favoriting and to Bella, Kavyle, Mizuki's Star and hitokiri angel for reviewing. And yeah, if you've read KISA, you know I love flashbacks. :D

Information note: For those that don't know, 'Ichigo' also means 'strawberry' in Japanese.

**Captor and Prisoner**

Ulquiorra again lied in his bed while staring blankly at the blank ceiling of his impersonal room, thinking about what had happened not two hours ago.

X Flashback X

-She seems different from other humans. – He answered after a pause. – But that does not mean she matters to me in the least. She's a human after all. Humans are trash in the end.

-You disappoint me, Ulquiorra. – Her whispered words felt like a dagger in the middle of his forehead.

She turned on her heel. Without facing him, she continued.

-Stubbornness does not lead anywhere, you know? – Her words sounded hurt.

He could only see her walking away and disappear.

X End of Flashback X

_Why am I certain she was hurt? Because of her voice's tone? But her voice didn't tremble or beckon any pain in her. Is it because of her attitude? While it she seemed to suddenly change, she still looked like herself. Then why? Why is it that I am certain she was hurt? (…) Why did I disappoint her? Isn't she the one that forced me into this all? How can she expect me to just change for the mere purpose of understanding a human? Humans per se are trash._

X Flashback X

-Let her hear your own voice calling her name, just like hers called yours. – She said.

-I should not. – He replied. – I am her capturer and she is the prisoner. Me calling her name would have a psychological effect that would eventually make her conclude I care about her.

-Don't you? – She asked bluntly. – You are trying to understand her, after all. Not being capable of understanding her was your greatest regret at your last moment. You asked her if she feared you twice. Does that not beckon that you wanted her answer to change? Does that not imply that you cared?

X End of Flashback X

_I myself cannot answer those questions. Moreover, she talks as if she knows the answers herself but she still asks for them, and she asks them from me. I don't even know why I want to understand that woman. Why do I spend so much of my time in her? It's ludicrous._

_You do remember your time is limited, correct, Ulquiorra? _– His mind replayed that line ceaselessly.

_I will again have to face with Ichigo Kurosaki and again I will be destroyed…All for the sake of understanding a human? Why am I trying so hard for her, a human girl? That woman told me in the beginning that my future 'happiness' depended on this. But it's not like she gave me another choice. Besides, I hardly believe in happiness as something worth it. As far as I've seen in the Human Realm, humans struggle for it all their lives and suffer countless times for it, and, __if__ they ever get a grasp of it, they lose it before they know it; it just slips away from them. The unhappiness they went through lasts, perhaps, ten times more than their fragile happiness. Happiness itself is only composed of instants, instants that hardly last much. Still, humans are willing to dedicate their whole short lives to that purpose. Why is that they find it worthwhile? If it's going to go away, would it not be better to not go after it at all and just stay in a place where they are merely just fine? (…) Despite being aware of this, I am still trying and I still feel the need to understand her, that human that is supposed to be trash to me…Orihime Inoue._

Meanwhile, Orihime was in her room, sitting on her couch while fiddling with her hakama's fabric in deep musing.

_Just why can't I stop thinking about what he said to me? So I'm trash to him; that shouldn't be anything new. In fact, that was predictable… Then why did it surprise me so much when he said it?_

X Flashback X

-I'll repeat to you it is not my duty to please you. You are a prisoner and my job is to merely make sure you are well. I will not call a human by her name because, in the end, all humans are trash.

X End of Flashback X

_He doesn't seem me as anything other than a part of his duty. Still, it's like he only wants to analyze what I do. Why? Does it have anything to do with whatever Aizen is planning for me? (…) That must be it! I cannot allow that to happen. No matter what…Kurosaki – Kun…_

She suddenly gasped.

X Flashback X

-Why do you never call him 'Ichigo'? Isn't that his name? If he is your friend, then why are you so formal when addressing him? – Ulquiorra asked.

-K-Kurosaki – Kun… - She stuttered flushed.

-I dare you to call him by his given name. – Ulquiorra defied out of the blue.

_To call him by his given name? How am I going to do that? (…) Why don't I have the courage to?_

-I… I will not. – She opposed weakly.

-I don't understand why. – He said. - I don't understand why you think you can't. It should be within your verbal capacity. Why can't you pronounce a mere name, woman?

-Then, why can't you pronounce _my_ name, Ulquiorra Schiffer? – She defied.

X End of Flashback X

Her hands closed into tightly closed fists and crumpled her hakama.

-I-I-Ichi…Ichi… - She stuttered and then gave up.

_Why? It's just a name…_ - She thought sadly. – _Why can't I say it? It's only 3 syllables. It's like saying 'strawberry'!_

She sighed and then turned to look at the moon behind her window's cold metal bars.

_Why can't you pronounce __my__ name, Ulquiorra Schiffer?_ - Her mind repeated what she had used as her shield to make Ulquiorra leave her alone continuously for several minutes.

_Is 'Orihime' hard to pronounce?_

-Why can't you say my name, Ulquiorra Schiffer? – She whispered.

Her head started aching shortly after.

_I don't understand why, but I get the feeling that I've thought about Ulquiorra more than I really have…It's like I've met him for longer than I have and I feel I have seen him differently too… Has he asked me if I fear him?_

Ulquiorra was at the front of her door again. He wondered if he could take even more questions. And, doubtlessly, a lot more questions would emerge if he paid her another visit. Hopefully, he'd get about one answer too. For the moment, that was all that he had clear. In order to accomplish his goal, or whatever he was supposed to call it, he had to establish communication with the human.

Just as Orihime was thinking about what was previously narrated, her room's door opened. The very Arrancar that occupied her thoughts stood there with his silent presence.

After a few awkward seconds of staring blankly at each other, he sat in the same couch as she did.

Orihime felt a shock travel down her spine as he sat next to her… Well, actually, not too close. He was at the opposite end of the couch, almost trying to push the end's side so the distance between their souls became greater. It was both eerie and laughable.

Ulquiorra was aware the mysterious demigod-like woman was capable of seeing what they did. She was, most likely, laughing at him that moment.

A couple of minutes ticked by in yet more profound and more awkward silence. They both stared at the opposite wall, not quite sure of how to look at the other and both felt tense, somehow. Orihime, though, ventured to look at him with the corner of her left eye every other second.

-Why do you always come here for no apparent reason whatsoever? – Orihime finally let out.

-It is part of my duty to check on you. – He used that as excuse.

_I knew it. I'm nothing more than that to him._ – She pondered, oblivious to the fact that he had lied. – _I must stay calm. This must all be to get information about me or something._

She merely nodded in response.

Ulquiorra scowled inwardly. Why was she not asking him anything unlike before? What now? Was he supposed to ask the questions? What to ask her? He didn't like this. This was a situation in which he didn't know what to do, a frustrating sensation he hated, and he had no way of just going with her flow because she was not saying anything…

-Is something wrong, woman? – He asked at last.

-Is there anything I wouldn't find wrong in my current situation?

Ulquiorra turned his head to her slightly. Had she just used sarcasm with him? Ulquiorra was certain humans didn't use sarcasm with people they respected…

-Remember your place, woman. – He scolded softly and without harshness, but gravity was not lacking in his voice.

-Of course. – Orihime replied while turning her entire glare's attention to him. – I am the prisoner and you are the captor. How could I forget that?

Ulquiorra could hardly believe this girl had made him speechless. Now what was he supposed to reply to that?

-I am merely doing what I was ordered to, woman. – He retaliated.

_What am I defending myself for? _– He asked himself.

-I still think it's not alright. – She said.

-What is? – He asked her attentively.

-You told me you follow orders because you must in order to live. You live to obey. I still don't agree.

-Your consent is not necessary for Aizen, woman. Remember I am your captor but he is your master.

Orihime turned her face to the wall again and remained silent again.

Just as he was thinking it interesting how she did not deny it, she talked again:

-It's true. – She said, surprisingly. – Aizen has my life in his hands. – She then turned to him. – Just like he has yours.

He was at a loss, yet again, about what to say. Those gray eyes felt like daggers. Because her words were exact, he had no excuse as to tell her to shut up and no motive to berate her… Still, those words felt insolent to him. In a way, she was stating he was like her. And, much to his dislike, she was right.

-I do not mind being in my position. – He answered. – I have no interest in being 'free' as you would say.

-Freedom is something many people have died in order to get. – She said. – I cannot believe there is someone who would not think something is wrong if they were prisoners.

Ulquiorra hastily stood up. He didn't know why, but he felt strange with her words and didn't think he could take them any more. So he left without even sparing a glance to her.

Orihime saw him close the door behind him and suppressed a scream. If his job was to get data from her, he was doing a simply weird job. She felt confused as he left without saying anything.

_Just what am I supposed to think of you, Ulquiorra Schiffer?_

-Do you realize you just wasted a good talk with her? – A familiar and recently disliked voice asked.

He turned to her frowning. He had to shake off the urge to raise an eyebrow and stare at her blankly. As usual, her clothes were different from before. Yet again, she copied Orihime's image. This time, however, she wore her white uniform, just like the one he had seen her wearing seconds ago.

-Woman, it is not my obligation to understand that girl! – He expressed upset. – I don't have to sit there and listen to anything she says.

-So not only did you not progress, you even moved back. – She scowled; her dark blue eyes acted resentful.

He looked sideways and refused to say anything to her. This was the most humane reaction he had shown of frustration so far. That was good; there was that at least.

-Did you even think about what I asked you to think, Ulquiorra?

-There is nothing to think about. I called her trash because she is human; that is all there is to it.

-Don't lie to me, Ulquiorra. – She looked at him gravely. – You are perfectly aware she was hurt by your words.

-She had no reason to be.

-You also know that, despite that, she still was hurt and shocked. You know very well that what you told her was wrong, so I am not even going to tell you anything about it.

He turned to her, slightly surprised. He could tell she wasn't lying.

-More importantly, I don't think you yourself realize the reason you're angry, Ulquiorra.

-I am not angry.

-That would be a lie, Ulquiorra. – She said serious. – I suggest you don't deny it. I have already told you. Our amount of time is limited and is not growing any longer.

Ulquiorra gulped. That woman's seriousness had a knack for getting to others easily. If he were just a normal soul, he'd fear her.

-Now, you should be convinced that you can have emotions; your anger is proof of it, and it has a reason.

-What reason?

-It is very humane to get angry when we do not like the truth.

-I'll repeat to you I am not a human, woman. – He replied. -

-And I'll repeat to you you once were, Ulquiorra. I'll also repeat to you that you are being stubborn by being so reluctant to call me and Orihime – San by our proper names.

-'Stubbornness doesn't lead anywhere', was it?

-To put it in words you understand, stubbornness is not an intelligent thing. Only foolish and inexpert humans hold on to it thus vehemently.

Ulquiorra turned to her, furious at what she implied. He reached for his zanpakuto to unsheathe it. He was just tired. He couldn't take any of these senseless things anymore. He much preferred to end things right then and there. _It is not likely I'll ever understand that woman anyways._

The enigmatic woman frowned and extended her arm forward.

Ulquiorra was supposed to show his blade but that didn't happen. His hand, that held the sword's handle, was empty. His katana had vanished. Ulquiorra could but widen his eyes in shock. Inside, he knew from the beginning it was useless to resist. While he knew he was powerful, it was clear she was out powered him, though her powers manifested differently.

-I believe I had made it clear before that rebelliousness is futile, Ulquiorra. – She said with a slight grin and yet she had some sweat her forehead's side.

-What did you do with my zanpakuto, woman?

-That should be the least of your worries. – She said with scolding harshness.

-Just what do you want me to do, woman? – He said defiant.

She stared at him. He could tell she was struggling to control herself. She was getting mad at him.

-Just what do you think we've been doing all along, Ulquiorra Schiffer?! – She shouted at him.

He didn't flinch for her voice's high pitch, but he dared not to speak as he saw the intense heat in her ocean-colored eyes.

She took a deep breath and stared at him again, more recollected.

-I know the reason you are upset, Ulquiorra, but do you know it too?

Silence was his reply.

-Like I was telling you, we get angry when the truth is not of our liking. You are aware Orihime – San is right. You are pretty much Aizen's prisoner.

-I already told that woman I do not mind.

-You lied.

-I didn't. – He scowled.

-If that was the truth, you wouldn't have gotten angry as you heard her.

-Her words did not upset me; I simply did not like them.

-Why would you not like them if you are supposedly just fine with what you are?

-I am a servant, not a prisoner.

-A servant serves because he wants to. A prisoner serves because he has no choice. Have you forgotten your own words to her? Do you not recall telling her you served him to survive?

He was mute.

-What other conclusion would you get from that if not that you are a prisoner?

-I might be a prisoner, but I am not like her.

-You two have that in common. But, indeed, you two are not the same. At least you got _that_ right. Aizen can just decide you will no longer live and he can do as he wishes with you. It is the same for her. You know well Aizen views you as a tool for his plans. Didn't he say before you took over Las Noches and fought Ichigo Kurosaki that she was just a tool for him too, in order to get what he wanted? And despite that, you two are still different because you do not see things the same. Orihime – San does not like this and longs for freedom; anyone would in her place. You, though, think you are being grateful to him for turning you into what you are and see this as a payment.

-I am not a prisoner. – He insisted while speaking softly despite the hurricane that was creating chaos in his mind.

-Yes you are. – She corrected solemnly. - It's just that you don't realize you are. But the girl behind that door has brought this issue into your attention and now you are in conflict with it because you don't wish to accept it. Again, we're going back to our concept of reality. This is in conflict with your reality. So much stress and confusion have been accumulating inside of you all this time, Ulquiorra. This was just the last straw for you. Hence, you enraged.

Ulquiorra looked down. His forest green eyes trembled. He just couldn't traverse anything she told him. Deeply, it always hit him that her words were not false. At least, most of what she said was true.

He did not like to feel the way she made him feel. It was as if he was powerless against her. Moreover, she knew more about him than himself and it was exasperating him, an Espada renowned for his ability to remain calm and think rationally… Then it hit.

He managed to suppress a gasp but he definitely gaped and shuddered at the realization. He turned to her shell-shocked.

She closed her eyes.

-So you have finally realized? – She then opened her eyelids to reveal eyes of one who sentences. – Yes, Aizen is not your only master. You are my prisoner as well. – She then proceeded to walk slowly towards him. - Without asking you anything, I rewinded time and put you into this trial. I didn't let you oppose and I have been telling you what you must do and even forced you sometimes. That makes me your mistress.

She halted when she was inches away from him. Her eyes never left his and her look did not allow him to blink.

He understood that he was the prisoner and she the captor… All this time, he thought of himself as the capturer of Inoue Orihime, but he was a prisoner of someone else at the same time.

-Again, being your mistress, someone with control over you, does not mean I am like Aizen, thankfully.

She softened her eyes that moment and he could finally blink. He also gasped. He had not been breathing.

_She…She's right… I am a prisoner…_

-Aizen uses you for his sake. I am not using you. I am merely returning the favor I owe you.

After a pause, he regained speech but could only whisper. He wondered if she knew that and that is why she had gotten so close to him. The proximity was strange but, oddly enough, he didn't hate it either. As a matter of fact, it had an incoherently familiar sensation to it.

-Just what is that favor you always bring up, woman?

She blinked. Her eyes changed dramatically. They were in reminiscence. Most likely, she was thinking about that favor.

-You will know at its due time. – She replied.

-How come I don't feel as your prisoner? Your words barely make sense even though they are not illogical and show reasoning behind them.

She smiled. This smile was not like any he had seen in her before. She looked like a different person. Oddly, that smile also felt familiar. _Why?_ – He wondered.

All of a sudden, he felt as a couple of arms embraced him.

-What are you doing woman? – He whispered huskily.

-I am certain you know what a hug is, Ulquiorra.

-Why are you hugging me?

-Because I feel like it. – She stated as if it were obvious…Well, it actually is obvious. – Also, this shows you I am not like Aizen. Just like you are a prisoner but not like Orihime, because what you search for is not the same as her. But you'll know what she searches for when you understand her. Two people are never the same. Saying they are is like saying one cannot be two things that are opposites to each other. Yet, you are a captor and a prisoner.

-I don't understand you either, woman. – He said.

She chuckled quietly and broke the embrace.

-You know, Ulquiorra? It is common knowledge to return someone's hug, too. – She laughed.

Before he could reply and say hugs per se are irrelevant, she extended her arm again. In front of him, his vanished zanpakuto materialized again.

-I believe you have calmed down enough. – She said. – You may now place it by your waist.

Ulquiorra hesitated before taking it and slowly placed it at his side. He then stared at her. This woman intrigued him at times. Like Orihime, he sometimes felt the urge to know more about her, too. But it wasn't as if he could even understand that human. He thought it unlikely to figure out a much more intricate woman like the one that stood in his front.

Strangely, all harshness was gone in her visage.

-And Ulquiorra, it saddens me to hear your thoughts. – She said softly and looked at him with the most fragile eyes he had seen her wear yet; it was unbelievable. – 'It is not likely I'll ever understand that woman anyways.' That is what you thought. Even though you've gotten so far from where you started, you still don't have faith in yourself?

Ulquiorra's eyes softened for a second. She had hit right on target.

-Why is it so hard to believe in yourself?

-Because me and that woman are too different.

-We are all different! – She exclaimed. – We all have differences among ourselves but we have to learn to live with them. Nobody will ever change that fact. And, I just highlighted for you one thing you and her have in common as Aizen's prisoners.

He couldn't look into her eyes that moment but he wasn't looking down either. He set his eyes on her necklace, the one thing she always wore, no matter which outfit she put on. The only solid knowledge he had about her was that she never took it off, not even when she bathed…That white gold necklace from with a crescent-shaped pendant made out of a beautiful red ruby. It seemed familiar too… Why was it that everything about that enigmatic woman seemed familiar all of a sudden?

-I believe in you. – She said honestly. – So why can't you believe in yourself?

-Why do you believe in me?

Her eyes grew bigger after hearing his question. She looked as if she had not expected it… OK, she was_ really_ weird that night, like a different person. Now it just so happened _he_ had the power to surprise _her_? Indeed, his interest in her only grew every time they spoke.

-I cannot help believing in you. You believed in me in the past, even though everything signaled against it. One day, I realized I simply began believing you were a great man. That image of your living self might seem like it contrasts who you are this moment. But I don't think that is so. I cannot believe that who you were just disappeared. True, people change. But I just know that you are still there. Yes, that is only what I want to believe. Yet, even after all I've seen this far in this test called 'second chance', I have no doubts you are still the one I met. I can't but believe in you.

Ulquiorra listened keenly. She had positively lost him. She talked as if in an epiphany. For the first time, he could say her words were illogical. It was as if she were talking more to herself than to him.

She brought him out of trance by shaking her head as if to wake herself up. She blinked repeatedly before staring back at him.

-I apologize, Ulquiorra. – She sounded sad. – I cannot really tell you in detail why. But don't doubt that I believe in you. That is all that matters for the moment.

She then cleared her thoat.

Ulquiorra was at a loss as to what to think of her after seeing her act so uncharacteristically.

-Moreover, Ulquiorra, Aizen and I are not your only masters. There is still someone else.

He frowned and looked straight into her eyes as if she had just talked to him in another language.

-What do you mean by that?

She grinned. That grin was definitely more like the ones he was used to see in her beautiful face. (He couldn't deny she was beautiful even if he wanted to.)

-I can only give you a clue. – She said somewhat playful. – My attire should be a generous hint as to the identity of your third captor.

Just by glancing at him, she knew he did not believe that.

-Nonsense. In what way am I Orihime Inoue's prisoner? How could I be her prisoner when I am her captor? How could an Espada be the prisoner of an unthreatening human adolescent?

She chuckled a bit.

-It's funny how you call her an adolescent. How old do you think you are, Ulquiorra?

Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes.

-I am perfectly serious, woman. – His voice came out louder. – You are not making any sense with your words.

-Of course. – She grinned.

He knew by looking at her eyes that she was hiding something from him and it probably concerned him. He hated that look.

-Just think about it, Ulquiorra. – She said before walking away.

Ulquiorra, fuming, turned on his heel. He was going to go to his room but, shockingly, he was no longer in the hallway.

He looked around. He stood in the highest rooftop of Las Noches. The view included all lower rooftops of the castle as well as a far view of the sandy desert that surrounded him for 360 degrees. It looked like a beige ocean with the dunes being reminiscent of waves.

The view of the moon Orihime had from her room could not compare to the view he had of it now. He was much closer to it, though that was insignificant, for it is so precious that no one can even touch it from there. That is why it is so far. To get to it, one must dare to approach it; despite the intimidating distance, it is not impossible to set foot on it.

From above, a piece of paper fell. He looked up and there was no ceiling, only the dark starless sky. That made her trick only creepier but not less intriguing for Ulquiorra. He proceeded to read it:

_Good results need good brainstorming. I believe the results we've had while you muse in your room are not too bad but we need to pick up a faster pace. So, Ulquiorra, from now on, this will be your place to muse. It's nice, isn't it? You're welcome._


	8. Laughs

Hurray for a big rain of flashbacks! Dedicated to XxparanoidxX, Bokmal14 and Mizuki's Star for reviewing.

**Laughs**

He felt the cold breeze while standing there on top of Hueco Mundo. He liked cold weather so it was welcomed by him. He wondered if she knew he did; that wouldn't be surprising.

Rather than thinking about Orihime, he mused about the conundrum woman that was the source of the twist in his circumstances as he drowned in reminsicence.

X Flashbacks X

-Hello, Ulquiorra. – She greeted smiling.

-Who are you and where am I? – He asked her with his always unemotional face.

-We've met before, Ulquiorra. – She answered him without her smile vanishing. – But of course, you cannot remember me. And us being in this space means time was stopped from its continuity.

_She spoke as if what she was explaining were another ordinary event._ – He recalled.

X

-Feel? – He asked blankly.

-Yes, Ulquiorra, feel. This is your new chance.

-Why are you doing this?

-Like I said, I owe you a favor.

-How is this paying me back for whatever I could've done for you before?

-Do you really need to ask, Ulquiorra? – She sounded amused. – A second chance is what myriads of minds have craved for ever since the beginning of times. You are fortunate enough to get one. I'm afraid this is all I can do and I cannot rewind the same lapse of time twice or else a delicate balance will break for sure. Doing it once risks it, in fact.

-Why would you take that risk for me?

-Because I owe you a favor. – She repeated smiling.

-Was that favor thus important?

-That answer varies according to each person; for some it wouldn't be considered like that and for some it would be more meaningful than it truly was. It's a matter of perspective.

_Even from the beginning, she has never given me a chance to analyze anything she says. While my intelligence is superior to a human being's I sometimes need more time to think and understand what she means…_

X

_What was I thinking…? _– He questioned himself. – _I wasn't thinking anything…_

-To not think is key to acting before thinking, Ulquiorra.

_Her words sometimes seem to take a deeper meaning and she seems to have a knack to express them easily. She's always shown that trait when talking to me._

X

-One more question: We know you aren't _able_ to feel happiness, but do you _want_ to feel it, Ulquiorra Schiffer?

-It's alright. That's not an easy question; I know. You do not have to answer right away. You have some time, Ulquiorra. Meanwhile, why not keep focusing on your goal since you already started?

-I haven't reached an acceptable progress so far.

-Exactly; 'so far'. That's why you can still keep trying. No one expected you to do it perfectly at first. You're doing something completely new to your mind. You've never done anything like it before and I am certainly not giving you any references or bases. Do you realize how remarkable it is that you even assumed the challenge to begin with? Not anyone has the courage to do something new without help; especially when it's something this hard.

-Do you consider this hard?

-You do. That's all that matters.

-I cannot reach her.

-I repeat, you won't get anywhere with your current methods. When a method doesn't work, then you just have to try a different approach.

_She refuses to let me give up and thinks that what she says is obvious. I wonder if I would find it obvious if I were human._

X

Ulquiorra, this is a new chance for you.

-A new chance? – He repeated the question while slightly frowning in confusion.

-Yes. – Her smile grew. – You see Ulquiorra, if you continue with your cycle of life in your current state, you will not be happy. Something within you is still unsatisfied; there is something you need to do, something you couldn't do before. This new chance means you can do it.

-What is it that I couldn't do?

-That's a question only you can answer.

-I do not understand.

-You do not need to. Ulquiorra, as we live on, time flows. If you stop by to understand each of your actions you'd be wasting an enormous amount of your life in which you'd be missing different opportunities. Like Kierkegaard said: 'Life can only be understood when looking back, but it can only be lived when looking ahead'.

_Does she realize that what she says, though fitting, feels out of place and bemusing at first?_

X

-Happiness? – He asked sounding skeptical.

-Yes, Ulquiorra, happiness.

-I am not familiar with such ideology.

-Happiness is not an ideology; it's an emotion.

-I do not live with such emotions. I am a Hollow; therefore I've detached myself from those humane traits.

-Are you sure about that, Ulquiorra?

-Though I can experience anger, among other sensations, I can only do it at low levels that cannot interfere with my thinking. Because of that, I am better than humans.

-Are you sure? – She kept smiling and looking at him with eyes that seemed to know more than him.

-Happiness, sadness, hope, fear. I've read of them all. I am positive I cannot feel such things.

-Very well, if you're positive about it, then I won't argue about it.

X

-What few people know is that emotions and feelings are not the same thing. Feelings are the responses to emotions. Hence, they are, nonetheless, related. What both Orihime – San and I mean is that because you consider most emotions irrational, you do not like to express your own; that is, to show your feelings, which has gotten you dearly handicapped at expressing yourself and has led you to believe you don't have but a few. You think you've let go of most of them a long time ago, when you were a hollow; you say that despite not remembering a thing about those days. Because you deny the existence of your own, you obviously have trouble acknowledging others' as anything else than illogical and useless. But that has given you yet another disadvantage; you cannot empathize if someone else mentions that their reasons are their emotions and feelings. That is why you don't accept her arguments as valid. To be able to understand what she describes, you must be able to imagine it. But not anyone can imagine what they are not familiar with. Because you don't remember having feelings, you aren't familiar with them. That, Ulquiorra, is the root of all your confusion.

X

-I am her capturer and she is the prisoner. Me calling her name would have a psychological effect that would eventually make her conclude I care about her.

-Don't you? – She asked bluntly. – You are trying to understand her, after all. Not being capable of understanding her was your greatest regret at your last moment. You asked her if she feared you twice. Does that not beckon that you wanted her answer to change? Does that not imply that you cared?

_I don't doubt she knows more than she's telling me. She always seems to know more about myself than I and she definitely does not hide that fact. I do not know her or understand her, but it seems like she understands me without even trying._

X

-I can assure you that what awaits you after your demise here will not be like that.

-How can you assure it?

-No matter how many times you ask me, I still cannot give you the answer.

X

-She's illogical.

-Uh-uh! – She warned him. – Don't go there again, Ulquiorra Schiffer! I thought it was already clear that this is not about logic. Or are you saying you can find a logic way to explain your current circumstances?

-Are you implying you're not an existence that obeys logic?

-My existence itself is hardly believable, but I find it logical once I remember who I am.

-Who are you?

-You're starting to sound like a broken record; and a very boring one, Ulquiorra. – She complained.

-Then can you tell me _what_ are you?

-I am not really sure in which group I'd fall into. I can only confirm what you already suspect. I am not a common being. I am neither human, shinigami, hollow or Arrancar…I'm not a Bount either.

-A Bount?

-Are you familiar with them?

-No but I have read about them.

-Heh? And they're supposed to be confidential. Soul Society shouldn't take pride in their security system like they do.

-That system cannot counteract Aizen's influence.

-That is true.

-How is it that you know of them?

-I simply know a lot of things. – She grinned.

_I never grow tired of asking who that woman could possibly be._

X

-There is no difference. – He stated monotonically.

-Yes there is. – She assumed a more serious tone. – A name is important; if it weren't, then no one would bother naming their children and pets. Being called by our names by the people we care about makes us feel good inside. – Her subtle grin appeared. – Do you like her name, Ulquiorra?

-Do I like her name?

-Who are you talking to? – Nnoitra asked him

Ulquiorra turned to his front and realized the mysterious woman was no longer standing in front of him. She had disappeared.

X

He took another book and opened it in a random page, where what he found read:

_Yare, yare… Feeling rebellious, Ulquiorra? One wouldn't think this coming from you. But it just so happens I'm not 'one'. The punishment for rebels is to amuse me. That is why, dear Ulquiorra, you either get out of this room in ten seconds or something amusing will happen. Of course, only I will find it amusing. It'll be a bit of a different story for you. ^^_

_She has unusual powers I have never heard of. She is unlike any existing creature I know of. Not to mention her threats hardly sound believable…Though they are._

X

She sighed.

-Heavens, you are helpless, Ulquiorra! Look through the obvious! The mere fact that you had a reaction to her words at all tells you something!

…_The fact that I had a reaction in the first place?_

-Exactly! – The woman with the ability to read minds exclaimed with exaggerated body language. – Ulquiorra, why do you insist on worrying me thus much?

_She always expresses herself in a way that signals I am not a stranger to her. To her, I am a close relationship. Or rather, was, when I was alive._

X

-You disappoint me, Ulquiorra. – Her whispered words felt like a dagger in the middle of his forehead.

She turned on her heel. Without facing him, she continued:

-Stubbornness does not lead anywhere, you know? – Her words sounded hurt.

Just how had _he_ hurt _her_? Was that even possible? Was it within his power to hurt that woman?

He observed her walking away slowly.

-Think about what it meant for her that you called her trash. – She said without turning to look at him.

He extended his arm in her direction, but before he could ask her anything else, she turned around a corner and disappeared from sight. He wouldn't find her anymore.

_That time, I hurt her. I still don't know how I did it but I hurt her. That can only be explained by her caring about what I said. She wouldn't care if I were a stranger to her._

X

-Why do you believe in me?

-I cannot help believing in you. You believed in me in the past, even though everything signaled against it. One day, I realized I simply began believing you were a great man. That image of your living self might seem like it contrasts who you are this moment. But I don't think that is so. I cannot believe that who you were just disappeared. True, people change. But I just know that you are still there. Yes, that is only what I want to believe. Yet, even after all I've seen this far in this test called 'second chance', I have no doubts you are still the one I met. I can't but believe in you.

_What was my relationship with her in the past? How come she remembers it if she is, I assume, a dead soul? _

X

-We are all different! – She exclaimed. – We all have differences among ourselves but we have to learn to live with them. Nobody will ever change that fact. And, I just highlighted for you one thing you and her have in common as Aizen's prisoners. I believe in you. So why can't you believe in yourself?

X

-That should be the least of your worries. – She said with scolding harshness.

-Just what do you want me to do, woman? – He said defiant.

She stared at him. He could tell she was struggling to control herself. She was getting mad at him.

-Just what do you think we've been doing all along, Ulquiorra Schiffer?! – She shouted at him.

_Woman, just why are you trying so hard for me, to return this 'favor'?_

X

-How come I don't feel as your prisoner? Your words barely make sense even though they are not illogical and show reasoning behind them.

She smiled. This smile was not like any he had seen in her before. She looked like a different person. Oddly, that smile also felt familiar. _Why?_ – He wondered.

All of a sudden, he felt as a couple of arms embraced him.

-What are you doing woman? – He whispered huskily.

-I am certain you know what a hug is, Ulquiorra.

-Why are you hugging me?

-Because I feel like it.

X End of Flashbacks X

_Woman, just what am I supposed to think of you?_

'_Woman' is not my name, Ulquiorra. _– His mind repeated that line, which he had heard countless times in all possible ways.

_Come to think of it, she has asked me so many times not to call her 'woman' but she has not once told me her name… I don't understand her._

-Did I ever tell you to understand me, Ulquiorra Schiffer? – The woman of her thoughts asked.

He turned to her.

She wore a black coat that reached her knees, a white scarf and black flat boots with adorning buckle that reached her coat's limit.

-As flattered as you make me feel, I did not send you here to think about me, Ulquiorra. – She told him.

He stared at her blankly. She wanted to raise an eyebrow.

-You covering yourself like that makes me conclude you're cold.

She ended up raising her left eyebrow with a grin while laughing. Her laughter sounded heartfelt and familiar. The reason for the strange familiarity he felt about her, though, was still beyond him.

She calmed down and looked at him with a smile.

-Ulquiorra, you should be using your questions to understand Orihime – San, not me. She is your goal, remember?

-But I am curious about you too. – He frowned slightly. - I know I cannot ask you who or what you are, but can I not know anything about you?

She smiled while looking at him in a way he could not recognize. He didn't know she was moved.

-Unlike you, I am not used to cold weather. I can handle fine downstairs but here the cold air hits hard. – She answered. – Plus, the place I come from is warm most of the time. I cannot lose a chance like this to wear my winter clothes.

He knew it. She knew he liked cold weather…

-I admit you have surprised me. To take a sudden interest in asking me questions about myself was unexpected. – She giggled.

-Can I ask about the place you come from?

She turned to him and, smiling apologetically, shook her head.

-I see. – He said before turning to contemplate the magnificent view. – Then, there is one more thing I need to ask you.

-If I can answer it, I'll answer it. If I cannot, I won't. – She said while observing the sea of sand dunes below.

-Woman, what is your name?

She slowly turned her head to meet his emerald eyes. Her face was utterly baffled.

-Oh. My. God… Hallelujah!! – She exclaimed glorious.

Ulquiorra turned to her with shock unveiled in his pale visage. He needed to blink as he saw her pulling out a pocket watch.

-Do you have any idea of how long it took you to ask me such a common question, Ulquiorra Schiffer?

She looked as if she were suppressing laughter, causing Ulquiorra to furrow his eyebrows.

-One would expect better from you. But, like I said to you before, I am not 'one'.

She grinned in a manner he was starting to find annoying. Then, he was surprised when the grin faded. She looked at him apologetically while staring at him in silence.

-I'm sorry. I am happy you finally asked, you know? But, I'm afraid I cannot let you know my name just yet.

He stared at her in disbelief. She wasn't kidding.

-Then, why, all this time, have you been whining each time I called you 'woman'?

-Because that is not necessarily the only way you can call me. You could've asked me for a way to address me. Even if it's not my name, it is far better than being addressed as 'woman', a noun you'd give to absolutely any other female, even perfect strangers.

Ulquiorra closed his eyes after listening.

-I do not understand you.

-I never asked you to. – She smiled. – And you won't for a while. But don't think too much about it, Ulquiorra. In the end, everything will be clear.

-Everything?

-Yes, everything. – She assured. – In the meantime, call me… - She paused to exchange an honest gaze with him. – 'S'.

-'S'? – He asked, sounding almost skeptical as if she was serious.

-Yes, 'S'. – She nodded.

The way in which she nodded, looking jovial in his eyes for the first time and with her cheeks flushing pink, he knew she was speaking wholeheartedly. More intriguingly, she wore an air of innocence that instant. Ulquiorra was beyond bemused about it. He wouldn't have thought that in her, an enigmatic someone who had done so many things he had considered indecent, spoke so straightforwardly and even sarcastically at times and had the ability to see through things with ease, innocence would look suiting.

-S… - Ulquiorra tried saying it out loud.

She turned to him smiling jovially. He stared at her looking dumbfounded as he looked at her too. Her reaction was to laugh and then nodded, as if telling him he had pronounced that letter correctly.

-Why don't you try laughing too, Ulquiorra? – She asked him all of a sudden.

He looked at her blankly. Yes, he knew she had already proven he could have emotions, but expressing them outwardly did not seem plausible in his mind.

-Laugh? – He limited himself to repeat the question.

-Laughing at oneself is a good thing.

-How can an act short of intelligence be a good thing?

She sighed.

-I've said it and I'll say it again. Ulquiorra Schiffer, you're helpless. And you're pushing my patience's limits. Laughing at onerself is actually an act that shows maturity. Rather than holding grudges for those that laugh, as long as they are not really mocking you, it is good to show them you know how to laugh too. It is also part of processing and accepting whatever happened that caused others to laugh. Because it happened and we cannot go back in time and change it.

-That doesn't sound convincing when you say it. – He replied.

She laughed again, more loudly this time. She turned to him afterwards.

-Do you realize you just told a joke? – She asked with a raised eyebrow.

-I did not. I merely pointed out an observation, woman…S. – He furrowed his brow when he corrected the last part of his statement.

-There we go. – S chuckled. – It's only a matter of getting used to say it; something that would be unnecessary if only you had the habit of asking the names of the people that help you out and whose patience you really test, Ulquiorra.

He didn't say anything. He knew she was right, as usual, and he had no way of reproaching her for saying it.

-It would be nice to hear you laugh at least every so often, Ulquiorra. Laughing, as a matter of fact, is good for the health.

-Laugh? – He asked for the second time.

-Yes, Ulquiorra Schiffer, laugh. You know already you can have emotions. What makes you doubt as if you'd be capable of turning them into feelings as you express them outwardly?

-I have never laughed.

-You cannot say that with full certainty. – She said serious.

S turned to see the moon above them. Ulquiorra, for one brief moment, felt he had seen her face looking at the moon like that before.

_Déjà vu?_ – He thought. – _Ridiculous. That cannot be it…_

-Do you know why I came here? - She asked him without looking at him.

-I do not. – He replied bluntly while looking at the same white moon she saw.

-Well, you were rude to Orihime – San when you just left before. Don't you think it's about time you go and continue the talk where you left off?

-I am not sure as to what to say to her. I am yet to think about it. – Even his voice spelled he was reluctant to go.

-Why does it still cost you so much to step into that room? – She asked him while looking at him intensely, a look he could neither escape from nor lie to.

-I do not know.

He didn't like to say those four words together. Ulquiorra liked the feeling of certainty when he spoke, a luxury he had not had since that woman, S, just showed up in his life without any warning with a stage light on top of her, making her impossible to miss by him.

She nodded. Was she seriously satisfied with an 'I do not know'? He had not imagined that from her.

-You should get going.

-What am I spposed to say to her? I have no idea. – He spoke like an open book, an effect she had on him.

She laughed yet again. He looked at her scowling.

-You have no idea? Ulquiorra, just know, you started a conversation with me!

-What do you mean by that…S?

Well, he was at least trying to call her by something other than 'woman', that was enough to make S happy for the moment.

This was a nice and nostalgic feeling for her, but, as nice as it was, she knew what her priorities were. She resumed the old facial gestures and expressions Ulquiorra was very familiar with.

-You said you noted I was cold. – She said. – Something as simple as that, Ulquiorra, is more than enough. Just ask her things about herself, things that will help you get to know her better.

He stared at the moon in deep pondering, trying to make sense of her words.

-May I ask for examples? – He asked.

S sighed.

-'What is your favorite color?', 'What kind of music do you like to hear?', 'Do you have any hobbies?', 'Do you prefer to read novels or manga?'… The possibilities are endless, Ulquiorra. Use your imagination. 'Do you like cold weather?' is a good start, you know?

-I see no need for me to know any of that information. All of it is irrelevant. It's illogical to ask such things for they would serve no purpose.

-Ulquiorra, you're gonna be the death of my nerves. – She exaggerated with her hands on her hips. – What had we said about illogical stuff before? Gee. Look, not everything in life looks important and not everything that looks important is important in reality. Even when something is irrelevant, it still is something, and it would help you get a better idea of what kind of person she is.

-I'll try then… - He replied.

S had to blink repeatedly. She thought he'd show more resistance, like he always did. Perhaps she wasn't the only one out of character that night.

Regardless, she nodded satisfied.

-Just remember Kierkegaard. – She said. – 'Life can only be understood when looking back but it can only be lived when looking ahead'.

_Yeah, her quotes feel awkward whenever she cites them._ – He thought, forgetting the lady next to him could read thoughts.

-How dare you?! – She asked hyperbolizing her offense. – My citing of quotes is just fine, thank you very much. – She furrowed her brow. – Now, you've stalled enough up here. Get going already!

With a snap of her fingers, Ulquiorra disappeared in a 'poof'. He had been sent a few stories down, right in front of a human girl's door.

She sighed. _Seriously, he's a handful. _

Immediately after thinking that, she relaxed and smiled widely..

She lifted the scarf below her chin and touched her necklace's crescent shaped ruby pendant more dearly than a rosary.

_I'm so relieved… Ulquiorra, I am so relieved that it was not just what I wanted to believe! I knew that, deeply, you were still the man I met. Right now, you were so much like the you I remember! You're still there… I cannot give up. I will do this, Ulquiorra! I'm going to bring you back! Ulquiorra, this shall be my payment to you for saving me before, but I know I'll still feel I owe you, even after this all. Ulquiorra, I wish you and Orihime – San the best with all my heart, which I will use to accomplish this mission… I promise._

Before going ahead and eavesdrop on those two, S looked up at the moon again. Few ever notice the moon in Hueco Mundo never looks the same despite the fact that it never sets. She grinned, part of her still in memory lane.

-The moon tonight, it looks much like the Human Realm's moon looked that night. – She whispered.

I realize the 'new material' in this chapter is actually quite short. No, it is not because I lack inspiration. I wanted to do this to point out some important things about S. Yes! My OC has a name; she's had one all along! XD Writing about her should be easier for me now that I have finally revealed her name. (Well, part of it.)


	9. Reflection

Dedicated to Kavyle, Bokmal14. Mizuki's Star and hitokiri angel for reviewing. to SavannahNicole for alerting and to Persha and emROARS for favoriting.

**Reflection**

-Now, you've stalled enough up here. Get going already!

Ulquiorra turned to see the strange semi-omnipotent woman called S but, instead of her, he found a white door, which he knew painfully well.

He stood in the outside hallway he had walked by so many times he could even distinguish it from the rest of the hallways of Las Noches even though they're supposed to look all the same.

If Ulquiorra were not Ulquiorra, he would've had a vein highlighted in his forehead. He hated to just be transported in a 'poof' by S; she always forced him into things brusquely and without any previous notice. Then again, he was her prisoner in that aspect. While he didn't like it, he was more bemused as to what to think of Aizen. He couldn't even add the 'Sama' suffix to his name anymore. _All this time, I have been like a prisoner…Why hadn't I noticed before? I…I no longer know what to think of anyone. I no longer know what to think of myself or what to do… (…) Just how am I Orihime Inoue's prisoner? It makes no sense._

Only one thing was clear, thanks to S. He was to understand Orihime Inoue. That was the only purpose of this whole 'trial', as S denominated it.

At last, he knocked three times.

On the other side of the door, Orihime stood under the barred window while staring at the moon divided in 5 parts, like always. Then she heard a knock and turned her head with wide open eyes. She knew it could only be one person. She gulped, remained quiet and turned her eyes again to the moon, a body she looked up to as if it were her praying image.

Her thoughts all nights were partially filled with her friends, how she regretted not being strong as the others, how she had to destroy the Hogyoku, for that was her only chance to feel useful to the others. Sometimes she'd cry and sometimes she'd grin sadly as she looked forward to being useful.

But there was another subject her thoughts just couldn't avoid, no matter how hard she tried: Her captor. _What am I supposed to think of him? Why does he come by so often for no other reason than observing me? Does Aizen really order him to check on me so often? Whenever he comes, he acts as if he didn't really know what to say or do; it's so strange. He does not deny Kurosaki - Kun will come. His exact words were: '__Even if they reach far and even if it looks for an instant as if they will win, they will not stand a chance the moment they're before Aizen.' Was he, though hypothetically, saying it was possible for himself to be defeated? At first he told me it was foolish to hope but he no longer does… It's like I've talked to a different person each time he's come._

When she was tired, she'd sit in her couch a few minutes and then stand up again in the same spot. She didn't eat or sleep. She was tired but she refused to rest. She wasn't feeling well physically but she paid little mind to it.

Whenever her Espada capturer occupied her thoughts, she felt confused, hurt and weird simultaneously. What she couldn't figure out was the reason she felt weird with him around. There was a persistent sensation in her that continued saying she had been under his capture for longer than she thought and that he was different from the Arrancar that originally imprisoned her soul. She also felt fear. Not of him but of herself.

She thought of herself as a respectful person, always addressing people formally, and also shy, at times. But when it came to the Cuarta Espada, she was defiant, willful, firm…Different. She could not recognize herself. For a while, she had constantly wondered why Ulquiorra seemed to act different, almost as if he were not himself. (She had no idea how she could know that, though.) But she herself was also not being herself when he was in the same room as her. Moreover, she could even express her opinion to him bluntly. Whatever they held in that dark room was, if not a conversation, then something akin to one.

'Then, why can't you pronounce _my_ name, Ulquiorra Schiffer?' Those had been her exact words. She had, without any trouble, said his name. No honorifics and no stuttering, not to mention the uncharacteristic noncompliant tone in them. Why, of all people, did it have to be Ulquiorra Schiffer, her enemy, the one whose name she could say out loud? Why couldn't she do the same for 'Kurosaki - Kun'? Or even 'Kuchiki - San'?

_I don't want to think anymore._ – She cried inwardly in so much befuddlement. – _I don't want to speak again… I must not speak to him again. I cannot let him sway my thoughts like this… Is this perhaps part of the control he's trying to establish on me? I…I don't want to feel like this anymore. I'm tired… I must not speak to him…_

-I'm coming in. – Ulquiorra announced, not aware that this was the first time he didn't just knock the door, but also announced his visit.

He wasn't surprised to see her under the scarce light that could pass through the small window.

He momentarily glanced at the food plates on her table. They were untouched and cold by then. He sighed. She had refused to eat before, it was no wonder she was doing the same this second time.

-You should eat. – He told her.

She replied with silence, ignoring him, not even sparing him a glance.

-The food is not poisoned. – He insisted.

And she also insisted in ignoring him.

Ulquiorra frowned. He felt insulted.

-Woman, it is my duty to make sure you're healthy.

He approached her slowly. The sound of his every footfall echoed with a solemn rhythm that was in sync with Orihime's heartbeats.

Both of his hands were in the pockets of his white hakama while he stood facing her right profile. She could see him with her peripheral vision but refused to turn her head to him.

-Is there any particular reason why you insist in ignoring me, woman?

Orihime had her lips sealed but she could not mask the anxiety in her face. Ulquiorra knew she was deliberately trying to ignore him. For some reason, he just didn't like that. Suddenly, a sensation he could not identify was present in him. Also, he couldn't execute the plan S suggested if she ignored him.

_Why?_ – She thought. – _Why do I feel this way? He's my enemy. Why did it have to be him the one that could see through me like this? It hurts… Why do I suddenly feel as my whole body aches?_

Without giving much thought to it, much unlike him, he took her chin and turned it such that her face was parallel to his.

Orihime's eyes reacted. She had the idea his hands would be cold as ice. She was right, they were very cold. Still, she found that pleasant and almost grinned at the strange and sudden relief the contact had given her.

-How nice… - She whispered feebly with a husky voice.

Ulquiorra's scowl deepened.

-Woman… - Ulquiorra mused out loud.

_This does not look good. _– He thought.

Ulquiorra got his other hand out of his pocket and placed it over Orihime's forehead. He narrowed his eyes, trying to understand what his hand told him.

-Approximately 38.9° Celsius. – He diagnosed.

_The average healthy bodily temperature for human beings is 37 degrees._ – He thought while calling forth the information he had read about humans when he was given the assignment of looking after this girl.

-You have a fever. – He concluded with a frown.

Orihime's eyes were not showing focus on him. She wasn't paying any attention to what he was saying.

Before anything else happened, her legs ceased to support her weight as they ran out of strength.

Orihime was falling. Ulquiorra's face, for the first time, showed surprise freely, without any attempt to mask his contracted irises or both of his lifted eyebrows.

With his superior speed, he caught her from her waist and upper back and held her closer to him, deliberately shortening his personal space, something he had so far only done with her. He embraced her close to his body and all of her weight lied on him. He had no idea what was happening. His body was moving on its own as if possessed. He had not spared one second to think; he stopped thinking and just acted relying in nature rather than reason. That was a first. And he was not even aware of it; all that he looked at was at her face, which looked neither conscious nor unconscious.

-Orihime, what's wrong? – He asked.

His voice came out as something more than shocked, something that made a certain woman with magical and semi-omnipotent powers grin widely.

Orihime Inoue merely groaned and then she was out.

Ulquiorra was dumbfounded for a whole minute. He was paralyzed with her body touching his. Contact was foreign and awkward for him. He had never been so close to anyone before, it was a whole new sensation to which he was utterly clueless as to how to manage. The warmth of a human body was numbing to his stone cold skin. How could humans live in such a hot body? No wonder they don't tolerate cold weather well and need to put coats on themselves.

He took a deep breath and regained composure. The human girl under his care was sick and it was his responsibility to look after her. He stared at her. Her face had gone paler with the absence of sunrays around her but her cheeks were flushed and her brow was sweaty.

He listed what he had to do in his head. First of all, he had to get her off him. He had to place her in the bed.

He proceeded to maneuver her in a way that he could lift and carry her with both of his arms under her knees and back. Of course, he was not aware that was known as 'bridal style'. She was actually light, he discovered.

He placed her in the bed gingerly, unnerved since he had an idea of how fragile a human soul is. The best thing to do for the moment was to let her rest.

He proceeded to get a bowl with cool water. Then, he tore off a piece of his jacket to use as a cloth and submerged it in the crystal bowl with water. He put it in her forehead. After that, he merely stood beside her bed, watching her.

He observed her for almost an hour. What was initially an alert for any reaction that would show her health was either improving or worsening turned eventually into appreciation as he took in her every detail, as if she were a living piece of art.

Despite her condition, she looked calm as she slept. He finally paid attention to her long eyelashes and her full lips. The hair in the middle of her forehead didn't look suiting in her, though. Funnily, he realized her hair style resembled a lot the one of that female shinigami that had come to Las Noches. If his memory didn't fail, her name was Kuchiki Rukia.

Once again, he witnessed his body overpowering his mind and aloof nature by brushing the hair to her brow's side. He himself was taken aback.

As if scared, he took a step back, then another one. Finally, he turned curtly and left the room at a pace that was slightly faster than his usual unrushed and calm appearance, which was in contrast with his excelling Sonido.

He laid his back against the other side of her door in the hallway. He looked baffled, unrecognizable.

_Why did I do that? There was absolutely no purpose to doing what I did… It was as if my body did not listen to my brain. That is ridiculous and impossible…_

-You say it's ridiculous, and, actually, it is. But how can you say it's impossible when you just witnessed it with your own eyes, Ulquiorra? I thought you were the 'See to believe' kind.

Ulquiorra turned to face S. Had he not been having an inner chaos of shock and confusion, he would've fought the urge to stare at her blankly.

S, for what Ulquiorra could see, was a cosplay lover. Over her white turtleneck, she wore her necklace. Her white dress had a straight line of buttons at her left side. She wore simple white flat shoes and a white hat with a red cross on top of her head with her hair loose. Now, she was wearing a nurse outfit with her trademark grin.

She walked closer to him. From behind herself she pulled out an oval-shaped mirror with a bronze frame. Its size was incoherently larger than her back. It was inconceivable to think she could just hide that behind her. She had probably 'convened' it.

She held it in front of Ulquiorra, who, caught off guard, let out a subtle gasp as he saw the same face S was seeing. He looked so…Human. Anxiousness was all over his face, his eyes didn't look the same as usual and his lips were thinly apart, gaping.

S's hands let go of the mirror's frame, but it didn't fall. Instead, it levitated in the air. Perhaps even Ulquiorra would've found it creepy but his reflection was enough to make his irises tremble unstably.

His eyes widened when he felt a couple of hands over his shoulders. He glanced at S standing next to him with the corner of his right eye.

-Like we have talked about earlier, if you can have emotions, then you have no reason to believe you cannot let them out as feelings. – S said while looking at their reflection in the mirror.

Ulquiorra turned to the mirror too. There he could see an exact replica of S's piercing blue eyes, which were staring at the reflection of his baffled green ones.

-Do you know what the expression you have is called? – She asked him straightforwardly.

-I do not. – He replied; his voice sounded hypnotized, void of a humane tone.

S smiled lightly and leaned towards his ear while her eyes were still on the mirror.

-It is called 'worry'. – She whispered.

Ulquiorra's eyes expanded as if a sudden chill had paralyzed him.

-Worry? – His voice turned hoarse.

-And that one is called 'surprise'. – S informed while pointing to his face in the mirror, amused.

There was a silent pause for several seconds. Ulquiorra was reacting to the information and S was studying his reactions thoroughly.

-It can't be… - Ulquiorra tried to frown.

-Are you still skeptical even though you're seeing it in the mirror? The mirror is no trick of mine, Ulquiorra. It's reflecting what is truly before it.

Ulquiorra looked shut his eyes a bit too forcedly and abruptly turned his head to his left.

S's hands let Ulquiorra's shoulders be while leaning away.

-I can tell you do not want to accept your own reflection, Ulquiorra. – She said gravely. – That would be, yet again, denying reality.

Ulquiorra turned his head slowly to the mirror again, glanced at both his and S's reflection.

-Why do you insist in being stubborn over something so…Trivial? – S emphasized the last word with a previous pause.

-Trivial? – He asked blankly and hoarsely.

-Yes, trivial. It is nothing extraordinary for a person to be able to express emotions outwardly. The very fact that you have hardships at it is not a good thing. Expression of feelings is elemental for communication.

Ulquiorra's eyes grew open again. He stared in trance at his own eyes, barely paying any attention to the reflection next to his.

-Yes, Ulquiorra. – S grinned wider. – One of the reasons you have still not had a successfully 'normal' talk with Orihime – San is precisely because of that.

She leaned again and whispered to his ear more words.

-Remember all the conversations you two have had…

Her voice faded but it continued echoing inside his mind.

X Flashbacks X

-I don't think it's right to subject others to an obey-or-die situation…! – Orihime said. – Then why keep living if that's all you can expect of life?

-We are not humans. We don't have that kind of feelings. – Ulquiorra replied.

-Then you think you're machines that have no personal desires or goals?

X

-I don't have feelings like humans do. I let go of that long ago. – He stated.

-I cannot believe that. I can only believe you don't realize you do and therefore don't express them. – She responded.

X

-Why do you insist in calling me 'woman'? I feel like an object.

-It is not my obligation to make you feel good, woman.

X End of Flashbacks X

-Has it clicked in you already, Ulquiorra, or do you need more time? – S asked smiling.

While Ulquiorra was lost in his reflection, she had finally walked away and stood next to the mirror, supporting some of her weight in it with her arm over the bronze frame, which was so exquisite it was worthy of bordering even the most valuable artworks at the most prestigious museums in the world.

-Why…? – His husky voice asked in a whisper.

-I can read minds, Ulquiorra, but that doesn't mean I will not ask you to finish phrasing your own questions, you know? – S said serious with her eyes narrowed; she actually knew where he was going.

-Why do I have to do something I've never done before?

-'Something you've never done before'? You're telling me everything else you've done in the last hours is nothing new to you?

-Why…? – Ulquiorra asked again, actually asking himself. – …For that woman…? Why would I change, express feelings, for that woman?

S snapped her fingers and the mirror 'poofed' back in the castle where she had stolen it from. S didn't look happy. She had her inferior lip curled at one side and her long eyelashes stood out from her half-closed eyes as she witnessed Ulquiorra's inner struggle.

He was yet to notice that S stood with her arms crossed while looking at him with heavy graveness and also that the mirror was gone along with his reflection, but it was too late already. His worried and surprised reflections had already been there and that fact would never change.

-Isn't communication with her something we had already agreed necessary for the achievement of your goal, Ulquiorra? – S spoke softly; patience in her was growing thinner with each second she observed his reluctance.

Ulquiorra was reluctant. He couldn't deny he _could_ express feelings, but he didn't _want_ to. Moreover, he wasn't answering to her and that was only shortening her patience's duration at a faster rate.

-Now I am the one at a loss, Ulquiorra. – S stated with one hand on her hip and a severe look over him. – Now it is myturn to ask why.

Ulquiorra turned to her; frustration overflowed from his face, making it seem even more melancholic than it looked per se.

-Why do you insist in disavowing yourself as a being capable of emotions and feelings? What is it about them that disgust you this much?

-They are for humans. – He replied softly.

S dropped her crossed arms to her sides. She walked towards him with steps that echoed more solemnly and more frighteningly than his. Her face was tilted down while her back was perfectly straight. Her image looked straight out of the creepiest of horror movies. Rather than walking, she gave the feeling that she was prowling towards Ulquiorra.

She made a brusque halt when she was right in front of him. Ulquiorra was mute and frozen right in the spot where he stood.

-'They are for humans'? – She asked him with a deadly low tone.

Ulquiorra was about to frown. Shock took over his face instead when a hand even his skin found cold grabbed his neck, though not roughly. Despite her hold on him not really displaying violence, to Ulquiorra, it felt like a twinge in the throat. He was paralyzed.

_Why can't I move? I should be able to escape from this grasp yet I can't…_ - Ulquiorra pondered with his heart beating fast.

His face was incapable of disentangle his current expression and mask it with his nondescript callous façade. His bewilderment, however, was not what kept his body immobile. There was something else. Whatever that was, it was more than plausible to conclude it originated from S.

S lifted her face curtly. That face might have looked scary as hell at first sight, but, since Ulquiorra was held in place, he had no choice but to see beyond a first glance. His neck wouldn't turn direction and his eyelids wouldn't blink for his life, whereupon he saw the true expression she wore.

S looked melancholic, strongly infuriated and desperate simultaneously. It was a very intricate mixture of emotions. At least, it could be considered of a level too high for Ulquiorra to unravel.

_It's like I am forced to be vulnerable, at the mercy of this woman… This is what it is to be human. How pathetic…_

-Shut those thoughts up. – The mind-reader commanded gravely.

Although she barely looked threatening, he somehow knew he didn't stand a chance against her. Her imprisonment was not like Aizen's. It was not obey-or-die. Rather, she had chained his very mind. Like the prisoner he was, even his thoughts temporarily ceased flowing.

Oddly enough, he was not feeling resentful to her. He didn't even know what to think of her expression. For an unknown reason, he felt uneasy as he saw her face like that. Seeing the pain plastered in it, it was plausible to believe she was holding back tears; a superior and stronger reason impeded her from shedding them.

-All this stubbornness of yours to refuse accepting feelings and emotions as part of you due to 'them being for humans'? – While she was asking, her tone did not encourage him as to reply.

She looked at his eyes. The windows to his mind were open due to the shock he had. At the same time, he looked at hers. Due to the proximity, this was the first time Ulquiorra actually focused on her eyes in a way that he could only see them. Not even her cosplay was enough to distract his attention this time.

Shockingly enough, those eyes had no barriers. He could see the whole ambivalence present in her written in them. Those eyes didn't give any feeling close to mysterious. Despite all the times he had mused she was quite an enigmatic being, that moment, such a statement would be found impossible. Like his, they were also open for him to see.

He then understood she was expecting to find an answer in him, so she was blatantly looking at him.

He narrowed his eyes slightly and could see his own face reflected in her vivid blue eyes.

-You insist in being a Hollow then, Ulquiorra? – Her voice came out less deadly this time.

-I _am_ a Hollow, S. – He somehow replied; it was as if she had been imprisoning his voice until the moment she wanted him to answer.

S blinked. Suddenly, her eyes moved. His eyes were no longer the object of her focus. Her hand slid down to below his neck, in his hole, the symbol of him being a Hollow, an Arrancar, a non-human creature.

-This damn hole was never meant to be in you. – She said.

Ulquiorra knew his irises had contracted even though he could no longer see his reflection in her blue orbs.

-What are those words supposed to mean? – He asked hoarsely.

-This void space you have below your neck…Have you even realized it holds meaning to you? – S asked before turning her eyes to him again, expecting a verbal answer.

-Meaning? – He asked back in confusion.

-Meaning as a symbol.

-It symbolizes that I am a Hollow. – He frowned. – Of course it has a meaning. It should tell any shinigami I am their natural enemy.

S's scowl indicated she did not like his answer.

-The meaning this hole has is not only a signal for shinigami. Shinigami can understand that from absolutely any hole in any Hollow. I am talking about this particular hole in you, Ulquiorra. You hold it as a flag, something that tells you where you belong.

-All my hole tells me is what I am.

-Wrong. – She hissed. – It tells you what you _think_ you _should_ be. You think you should be like you are. – Her tone gradually began to ascend. - You think you, as a Hollow, a word that apparently is a synonym of monster to you, must show yourself as not human. You believe it natural in you to say you have washed all your original humanity off you. You _think_!

Ulquiorra felt attacked with each sentence S formed. Where was she trying to take him with them?

-Just what are you telling me, S? – Ulquiorra was at the top of his frustration.

-You heard me, Ulquiorra. – S said loudly. – You stubbornly insist in being _that_. Why do you want to be _that_ existence?

-I… - Ulquiorra's voice felt as if S's hand were encaging it; he couldn't respond beyond that.

S and he exchanged glances again. She gave a strange sigh, much like a gasp, before letting go of his void at last.

The same hand that temporarily filled his hole proceeded to rub her temples.

S finally backed away a couple of steps. Ulquiorra finally had more personal space. However, he had gotten used to having her eyes so close. Now that she was farther away, she again was mysterious.

At this point, Ulquiorra knew S was not perfect and, although unquestionably powerful, she was not like he thought she was at first. At first, he had the impression she had an impenetrable grin but, he had learned, that grin was fragile at times. S, he understood, was not doing this out of fun. She had a strong reason for doing everything she had done so far and she had been trying her best too. She had mentioned it every time he asked her; it was all for the famous 'favor'.

-S… - Ulquiorra thought out loud.

-Ulquiorra. – S interrupted him. – I had already told you, hadn't I? That hole below your throat is only a mark now, a scar. Now, you know that if you need me to repeat something to you, I will, but there is one thing that I've repeated to you before and has not yet fallen upon you with its whole weight. We are running out of time, Ulquiorra. I will abide many things, but not your stubbornness for refusing to accept yourself, such irrational thing is only slowing down your progress.

Ulquiorra stopped breathing.

_Such __irrational__ thing is only slowing down your progress…_ - Those words continued echoing in his mind.

_Irrational… _- Ulquiorra repeated in thoughts.

Ulquiorra couldn't believe what was probably the word he disliked the most had just been applied to him. He wished he had misheard her.

-Yes, Ulquiorra, irrational. – S confirmed his thoughts.

Ulquiorra's surprise kept growing, his face revealed. The mirror was no longer there, but Ulquiorra didn't need it. He didn't need to see his face to know his plastered expression was not the one he wished it had. The most frustrating thing was that he couldn't change it. For minutes now, he had lost control of his own face.

-Have you forgotten you were defeated by Ichigo Kurosaki, Ulquiorra? – S was merciless for not giving him a break. – Have you forgotten your existence as Arrancar is, technically, over?

Indeed, Ulquiorra had, for a second, forgotten that… Whatever awaited him next was unknown to him. S had said he would neither go to hell nor to Soul Society. What would become of him? What would happen to the hole below his throat?

-What will be of me?

-I cannot tell you that, Ulquiorra; you know that. – S shook her head. – But I will tell you, your hole will be no longer.

Ulquiorra brought his hand to the space below his throat. While having the continuity of his matter interrupted by that circular hole is unnatural, it had become perfectly normal for him. He could hardly imagine the hole would no longer be there.

-Not only are you aware your existence as the being you think you should be will end soon, you also have understood that your objective requires an established relationship with communication, something you cannot acquire with your current attitude. – S continued. –Shouldn't that be enough to conclude it illogical to insist on keeping the remnants of that nature you have followed so far attached to you?

Ulquiorra could see beyond his reflection in her eyes and she was just not lying. And she was right. He was being irrational.

-I know you agree, Ulquiorra.

S looked at him. She knew he was just awestruck, and, sincerely, she couldn't blame him.

Her face showed a light smile before she walked closer and pushed him back with a hit in the forehead given by just two fingers.

-I'd leave you to think about it but, like I said, we don't have much time at our disposal. More importantly, Orihime – San has a fever. You are her caretaker, so take care of her.

Ulquiorra blinked. He looked dumbfounded a couple of seconds, as if he had just woken up from a strange dream, though, most of the times, he still thought this was all just a strange weird. A woman like S could only be conceivable in a weird. At least, in a world where things made sense… Then again, he had read many times this was a crazy world. Those authors might actually be right.

-Take care of her? – He repeated lost.

-Yes. – S affirmed.

Ulquiorra, after finally getting control of his own facial features, scowled.

-She shouldn't be sick. The first time she was in that room, she did not get sick.

-At the beginning, I mentioned everyone's _minds_ would be 'reset', not their bodies.

Ulquiorra nodded. Finally, he could understand something that came out of S's mouth without an inner crisis event.

-She most likely is sick because of her refusal to eat. – Ulquiorra expressed.

-That's not the only factor, Ulquiorra. – S said.

-What else could have contributed to this result? – He frowned.

-To highlight the power of emotions, the extent of their influence even reaches our physical health.

-That is absurd. Emotions and feelings should only affect the mind.

-The mind is a very powerful thing, Ulquiorra. – S said seriously. – The mind, if determined, can make a difference. But the mind itself is useless. The actions we can do thanks to it are, however, priceless. The mind gives guidance and the body acts accordingly. It has been proven laughter is good for the health.

-How have her emotions made her sick?

-If you add up the time she has been here, both for the first time and this repetition, you'll see her body has already been exposed to a good deal of worry and loneliness in that cold dull room. While emotions can be very influential, they themselves can easily be influenced via our surroundings. I am not surprised she is sick. But you are, Ulquiorra. Seriously, these things would be obvious to you if you were more familiar with feelings.

Ulquiorra gazed down as he absorbed the information S was providing him.

-Before anything, your priority should be to get her well. – S instructed authoritatively.

Ulquiorra was not reacting to her words. S sighed and placed her right hand on his left shoulder. He turned to her in response.

-As you can see, you have quite a task to do in order to understand her and little time to do so, but, Ulquiorra, look at me. I'm standing right here. In case you have not noticed, I'll spell out for you yet another obvious fact: I am here to help. You are slowly making progress; that is what matters. If you do not know something, I've always been there to help you find the answer that is already within you.

Ulquiorra turned to her honest smile and then turned to the door behind them, beyond which the cause of this all was sleeping with a fever.

-You do not want to go in there; I can see that in your eyes. – S seemed to be amused, judging by her voice.

-S, you seem to know everything concerning these events. Why can't you be the one inside? You wouldn't mess up or be at a loss as to what to do.

-That is painfully stupid of you to ask, Ulquiorra. Then what would the point be of this all?! You are the one who must establish a communication relationship with her, not me. My help is limited to advice, not action. I am the mind and you are the body, Ulquiorra Schiffer.

Ulquiorra stared at the door again. Then he glanced back at S.

-How could I establish a communication relationship while she's asleep?

-Don't be ridiculous, Ulquiorra. – S laughed. – Any time at all can offer you a chance to slowly build that relationship.

Ulquiorra sighed, giving in. It was just impossible for him to deny S had authority over him, like a mastermind.

-The reason you are hesitant is because you are not comfortable with the unknown; I know that. - S said while casually laying her back against the wall next to the door. – And that is perfectly natural. History repetitively shows men have always feared the unknown. You encounter too many things you don't understand and that is enough to make anyone uneasy, even frightened. But it's OK, Ulquiorra. This entire trial, you have been encountering nothing but unknowns, and some of those unknowns are already knowledge. – S smiled. – Remember this is necessary. Soon, you'll harvest results of this.

He stared again at the door before him blankly.

_I do not want to enter… I no longer know what I will end up doing. It's like I am different when it comes to that woman…_

-'That woman'? – S raised an eyebrow. – Are we back there? I thought you could already articulate her name properly.

Ulquiorra replied nothing. He knew S was indirectly reminding him that he was yet to call her name before her _and _she had to hear it…

-Though the fact that you could already call her 'Orihime' in that room was progress. – S mused out loud. – 'Orihime, what's wrong?' That was so cute, Ulquiorra. You almost make me squeal. – S laughed.

-For the last time, I am not cute.

-Why, so I have to repeat things to you twenty times but you won't repeat things for me nicely? – S mocked.

Ulquiorra turned his head annoyed and entered the room again.

S crossed her arms, satisfied. Then she smiled.

-To think that a mirror could help him progress this far. Why didn't I think about doing this earlier? – She pondered aloud.

Pop quiz time! S was inspired by a character of a popular anime! Who would that character be?


	10. Acceptance

I'm really sorry for taking over two months to update! I've been busy with college, you see. Still, rest assured that I will not abandon a story once I start it! Yes, I did start a new One Piece story, which you may read if you wish, but, like I've told you before, I try to give priority to this one if I do have the inspiration to work on it. (That's actually what I've done just now) Dedicated to Saiumi for her sweet review and for favoriting! To all of you, who cheer me with your reviews, thanks a million! I thank you for your patience too! *Bows*

**Acceptance**

So he had entered the room. Still, he didn't want to be there, but he couldn't leave since S was on the other side of that door. Between the only two females (actually the only beings at all) that had been beyond his understanding, he preferred to deal with the one that was asleep; that should make iher slightly easier to deal with…

Ulquiorra brought his hand to his throat's hole. It ached. He wasn't sure if it was 'the S effect' or something different. If the latter, he had no clue what the cause could be. He really felt like a prisoner. Each time, it was harder to deny he was S's mercy, and sometimes he wondered if she had any mercy at all. That, he couldn't tell; he never could with S.

'_I should be able to escape from this grasp yet I can't…' Why did I think that?_ – Ulquiorra pondered.

Ulquiorra stared at Orihime's resting form. Her forehead was sweaty and her lips dry. For the moment, he recognized S was right about one thing. Their minds had reset for that time travel, but their bodies didn't. It was turning noticeable she was losing weight; that could only happen after having been subject to a poor diet, which was her own doing, after longer than the time she had supposedly been held prisoner.

Some time while he gazed at Orihime, he had forgotten about his previous train of thoughts, until the pain in his neck thumped again. His eyes were then only half open as a grimacing gesture. He brought his hand to his throat's void space.

_This damn hole was never meant to be in you._ – S's words replayed in his memory, while he stared at his right hand on top of his hole.

_What did you mean with that, S?_

Then, he looked at Orihime again. Unlike him, a metaphorical prisoner, she had been let known in every possible way she explicitly was a prisoner, someone at the mercy of Aizen's whims and someone who was, most likely, going to be killed once she was no longer of use. If he felt uneasy at the thought of having two masters, how did that far fragiler girl feel?

_Did you have a sensation as unpleasant as I?_ – He asked her telepathically.

He brought the hand on his hole to his temple. What am I doing? _First I make unnecessary contact with her, going as far as touching her sweaty brow, filled with all kinds of unclean substances, and now this?_

Ulquiorra paused his track right that instant. He recalled S's insinuations of him being Orihime Inoue's prisoner. Was _this_ what she meant?!

_That's absurd…!_ – He tried denying his own realizations, acting irrationally, just like that woman had said. – _This is absurd. She's doing no effort to make me her subject. She can't be my captor. She's not defined as one. This human is just like every other trash there is in the Human Realm; there's nothing special about her. She's not strong…_

He had to trail off right there. He detected his own lie immediately. Had he not said before she was strong-willed? Had he not admitted before he could not understand her, unlike the other predictable humans? Why was he lying to himself now? That was illogical. He was not being himself; he was being…Human?

_All this stubbornness of yours to refuse accepting feelings and emotions as part of you due to 'them being for humans'?_ – S's words came to him yet again and with even greater force than before.

Ulquiorra sat down on the couch. He was beginning to dread S's appearances. She always made him see what he didn't want to see. He didn't feel he knew himself anymore. He was not sure what or who he was supposed to be. He had been proven to have emotions and to be a prisoner while all his life, as far as he could remember, he considered himself purely logical and someone else's captor, an Arrancar, Espada, non-human; now it seemed the opposite.

_What is going on? What does S want from me? I still don't know. What is the renowned favor I supposedly did to her? If she is paying me back for a favor, why is she making feel this way?_

Ulquiorra was the one-question-at-a-time type. Each question, he answered orderly. He found having so many questions that he had even lost count of them while barely having any answers aggravating and unpleasant. In truth, the few answers he had gotten were yet to be understood by him. So far, he only knew S wanted him to form some humane-like relationship with the human who lied sick nearby.

His eyes diverted in Orihime's direction once more. Half closing his eyes, he stood up and stood next to her bed and saw her sleeping again.

He canvassed her every feature once more. He could even se her eyelashes were short but curled upwards, her lips very full, her nose small and round and her hair looked red in the darkness. Orihime Inoue was a pretty girl; not even he would question that. Despite her sickly condition, she still shone, though palely. Ulquiorra was not very familiar with sunlight, so he didn't know Orihime looked her best under sunshine.

He had first convinced himself he was only doing duty, although he was aware hardly anything he had done recently was because of duty. However, with the minutes and then hours passing off as he still overanalyzed her every feature, it became undeniable he was not bored and that he was doing it for a reason other than duty. What the reason for his actions was was beyond his knowledge.

He finally broke free of his trance when she moaned. She was sweating more than before and the cloth on her forehead that had previously been part of his sleeve was dry at that point. He took it to dip it in the water bowl and again placed it on her hot brow. In the process, he had direct contact with her humanly warm skin. A sudden smile formed on Orihime's exhausted face at the soothing feeling of Ulquiorra's skin, which was about 10 degrees Celsius lower than the average human temperature. Ulquiorra got entranced by the smile her chapped lips formed and kept his hand in place. Once he realized his hand had replaced the cloth, he was doubtful. He wasn't sure why his hand hesitated to move. He took it a way from her burning skin only two seconds before he placed it back. For some reason, his hand had felt strange when he removed it.

_This is ridiculous._ – He berated himself inwardly. – _Why would I do something like this? Why that woman says it's more irrational to avoid doing this laughable is beyond me…_

He would not admit it, or even realize it, but he required too much time to just take back his hand. He attempted to move it once more and he could. Four seconds later, Orihime's smile was undone as the source of her relief was gone. His hand itched because of that. It made no sense to him that her merely undoing her somewhat peaceful smile during her sleep could affect him, but one seldom gets affected only by things within his understanding. Another four seconds after that, she moaned unconsciously, as if asking him to put his hand back there. Without even thinking about it, he did so. She didn't smile again, but the peace she felt during relief was present in her sleeping face.

_What did I just do? Why did I do that? So this woman wanted me to place my hand in her forehead, which barely makes sense since she obviously doesn't want me close to her while awake. Why would that make me do something like this? (…) Is this what S meant when she said she was my captor and I her prisoner?_ – He mused again.

He wasn't moving before, so it wasn't easy to tell Ulquiorra froze at that thought. Him wanting to see her smile in her sleep, him having tried so hard to understand her (even though he was practically being forced to do it), him being intrigued by this human girl; what it all mean? Did that mean he really wanted to have a relationship with her? Wasn't that only what S wanted? Unknown to that girl, he was her prisoner. In a different sense too, he was S's prisoner as well. He was a prisoner at the mercy of two women. One expressed it in every possible way, many times humiliating too, and the other one was not even trying. What had happened to him? It was as if emotions and feelings were taking over him… _Am I…Turning…__Human__?_

He immediately removed his hand as if her forehead had gotten too hot for his hand all of a sudden. This time, he paid no heed to Orihime's grimacing.

-I can't do this S. – He said out loud. – I refuse to go continue this any further.

He knew she was listening, but he didn't know he'd get an immediate response.

Suddenly, lines began to be drawn magically in the wall before him and eventually took the form of a door. The drawn door opened a real one in the wall through which S entered.

Her expression immediately made Ulquiorra's hand, hot from contact with Orihime, cover his hole as it instantly recalled the pain from their last meeting hours ago. S's blue eyes were not amused. In fact, she looked inspired fear. Ulquiorra could not walk away. Something told him he would not be able to overcome the following moments easily. That was, of course, if his sanity survived yet another blow.

S glanced quickly at Orihime and then proceeded to sit in the same bed by her feet.

Ulquiorra noted her new outfit. She wore scrubs right under a white coat with flat shoes, a stethoscope around her nape and her hair in a ponytail.

Her eyes were fixated on Ulquiorra in such a way that they injected a paralyzing substance to him so he could not escape. In truth, though, that was the S effect on Ulquiorra, the same that explained her being the captor and mind while he was the prisoner and body.

-I have not even said a word yet and you're already trying to run away from what I'll say, Ulquiorra. – Her voice came out softly but with a deadly air to it. – That means you realize what you said was not smart in the least, correct?

Ulquiorra could hardly talk with his void stinging, and that was nonsensical for there was no mass there to sting in the first place.

-S… - He spoke hoarsely and very softly as he tried to get used to the sensation. – I can't do this anymore.

-What would 'this' be, Ulquiorra? Establishing communication with Orihime Inoue? Facing your own emotions and feelings? You realized you're not whom you thought and you can't handle the pain? Just what, Ulquiorra?! – Her voice tone, contrastingly to his, was ascending uniformly.

-Everything you said and more. – Ulquiorra answered. – I do not want to become who you want me to be, S.

S stood up abruptly, taking him aback. She glared at him. Was she going to hold him by the throat again?

-You do not even know who you are in truth, Ulquiorra Schiffer. You lost all your memories from your life before being an Espada, a pet beast of Aizen Shosuke. You don't have a single memory as an actual hollow before being shinigaminized by the cursed Hogyoku. Other than the mask you're wearing now and that damn hole in your throat, you have nothing else to be sure you ever were a Hollow! – S shouted, miraculously not waking up Orihime in the process.

Her eyes suddenly changed. She closed them to calm down before looking at Ulquiorra again. Ulquiorra was stunned, not sure of what to think not only concerning her words, but her unpredictable burst. She brought a hand to her temple. She had been pushing her patience's limits for quite a while already. She took a deep breath and recovered part of her cool.

For some reason, Ulquiorra found it hard to believe a woman like her could act that way. Like him, S could resemble a human too.

-It is not whom I'm trying to turn you into. You are yourself, Ulquiorra, and I cannot change who you are; I'm not God. The you of now is still you; it has always been and it will always be.

S obviously shrugged off her previous outrage. He had no choice but to play along…For now.

-I feel human, S.

-Hadn't we already gone through that, Ulquiorra?

-S, I am not asking your permission. – Ulquiorra mustered will to say that. – I am letting you know the truth. I doubt I would find any mythological happiness this way.

-Mythological happiness… – S sighed, exhausted already. – OK, I don't have the energy to cover that topic right now, so moving on… Compared to the image you have of whom you should be thanks to your cursed hole, how are humans any worse than that? Compared to someone who lives a dull life as a disposable puppet, has no knowledge of something as basic and important as emotions and reactions, is unable to aim to anything in life because he's not even alive, has no reason to exist other than serving, cannot even dream of experiencing a glimpse of 'mythological happiness' and undergoes constant insecurity about who or what he really is and always getting a void as an answer, any worse than being human, Ulquiorra Schiffer, Cuarta Espada?

Ulquiorra could not speak back, like it happened most of the times S talked to him with direct words he could not escape from for the life of him. He was supposed to be dead, though.

_No… I can't just be a captive soul… I am not!_

Ulquiorra could see through S's eyes. He knew she had heard his thoughts but she would still not say anything. She was still expecting an answer from him, or rather demanding it. The seconds flew out of the barred window while the two of them stood next to Orihime's bed and she would not fold.

-You said it yourself, S. I'm not supposed to exist anymore as I was defeated by that human shinigami. You won't tell me where I will go either. S, why are you insisting in me changing now that I've met my end? What will change in the end, S? I might no longer be a Hollow if we speak technically, but my mask fragment and the hole under my throat you despise are still here. – He proceeded to point to his hole to make an emphasis he knew beforehand S would not appreciate. – S, I won't pull through this anymore. I won't ever understand this woman. Apparently I cannot even understand myself. I'll just resign myself…

Ulquiorra was forced to stop talking when S's hand slapped his left cheek. This was the difference between her and Inoue Orihime. Both Inoue Orihime and S could land a hand on him because of two different spells. One spellbinded him with her eyes and strong will and the other one with her overpowering words, mystery and her previously explained authority as his capturer.

S had finally lost it. Orihime's fragile hands couldn't be compared to the far greater force of S's hand. S managed to make him take not one but two steps back and leaned his torso just above Orihime. Ulquiorra closed his left eye in a grimacing gesture and the one he kept open had nowhere to look but in the way to the sleeping sick beauty.

He was about to straighten himself, turn to S and face her with courage he didn't know he had. He was going to tell her he would not listen to her anymore, even if that meant she herself would kill him…But it was S's words themselves what stopped him. It only took four words, her four words and no one else's.

-How disappointingly pathetic, Ulquiorra.

Her voice had emerged so cold, deadly, disappointed, angered and sad Ulquiorra dared not move to look at her. If her voice sounded like that, he didn't want to venture imagining what she looked like, what her hurt big deep blue eyes would look at him like.

-I won't let you lie to me, trying to sound so noble with your 'I won't ever understand this woman' crap. 'What will change in the end, S?' Bullshit.

Ulquiorra could not believe S knew how to be foulmouthed. He must have upsetted her greatly… Yes, that was what had happened. It wasn't just that time; all along as this 'trial' had been lasting, he had constantly aimed at her patience and reasons… Of course she had snapped.

-I'll spell it for you if you haven't figured it out, which is the most likely thing! You are not resigning yourself; you're submitting to fear! You're being a coward, Ulquiorra Schiffer, and fear is the worst captor for any prisoner to have. You can understand this girl, you can, but that is just not going to happen so long as you keep denying your true feelings! You thought what you were doing was laughable, and yes, it certainly was and I won't say I didn't laugh. So what? People get laughed at often, and only the weak give up for that. Being subject to fear is worse than laughable, it's pitiable, pathetic. 'What will change in the end?' is in fact something else. What you said in reality was 'I am afraid of changing'. 'I won't ever understand this woman' means 'The closer I am to understanding her, the more I see of myself that changes the concept I had of who I am.' 'My mask fragment and the hole under my throat you despise are still here' translates to 'I need to emphasize I am a Hollow, I'll even point at my hole; I'll do it as long as that means I can't be human'.

S paused to let her words sink into Ulquiorra. Like she had said, he definitely hadn't figured _that _out. Ulquiorra wanted to shake his head but couldn't. His own body was begging him to stop lying. He kept looking at Orihime with S's voice resonating in his head. It was he who had been slapped but it sounded heartbreaking, as if he had been the one to crush her hopes and glee.

-S… - Ulquiorra spoke huskily while still not fixing his posture, not daring to, not wanting to see her.

_Why does it ache?_

-My question still stands, Ulquiorra. Compared to who you have been, compared to living like this, afraid of so much, even of who you might be, and having to suppress that fear behind a hole and mask, how is being human any worse?

-…I…

-Look at me, Ulquiorra. – S's voice softened radically.

Ulquiorra turned to S, finally seeing what he had done. He was incapable of lying now that those blue eyes were on him; he could hardly breathe.

-I… - Ulquiorra whispered hoarsely, still trying to say something he inwardly knew was not true, lying, much like a human.

Their looks entwined. Ulquiorra's words trailed away. S would not let him look another way but to her. Ulquiorra then realized S was doing nothing; it was he who could not turn away from her.

-I am not going to let you put all your effort to waste, Ulquiorra. – She narrowed her eyes determined. – Especially because you are not thinking straight; you cannot even utter a proper sentence.

-I haven't been able to think straight since the very beginning of this whole incoherent madness!

-'Incoherent madness'? Is that what you call this, Ulquiorra?

If Ulquiorra didn't know her, he would say she sounded almost resentful.

_Why do I have this unpleasant sensation that I did wrong to her when I was the one physically affected?_

-Fine, call it whatever you please. It doesn't change the fact that this is a trial. I warned you it was not going to be easy. You have thought all these hours that I did not give you another choice but to comply with this all…But, Ulquiorra, I am only returning the favor to you Ulquiorra. You are just afraid.

-I am not afraid. – Ulquiorra lied, and he knew it was a lie.

-There's nothing wrong with being afraid. You have not realized, have you? When I said that something different from Soul Society and Hell awaits you, I meant it. You have not made the connection, have you, Ulquiorra? And you're supposed to be smart…

_Even when she tells me something this serious she is mocking me._ - Ulquiorra thought. – _She enjoys it but yet she isn't lying about doing this for me either…_

He could hardly believe it, but it wasn't as if he could easily accept anything S had done so far…

-Ulquiorra, you won't die after this trial is over. – S continued. - As I've repeated to you before and will again, whatever awaits you after this _depends_ on this. That is the favor I am paying for you, the best thing I could think of, the only thing I could do for you that is remotely close to what you did for me.

Ulquiorra felt himself slowly being pushed towards S, as if there were an attraction field around her. He was being absorbed and he was falling for it again. Those eyes looked sincere enough. Even if he told her he could not believe her, he truly believed those blue orbs and could not even muster enough shamelessness as to question whether she was just acting. S was a cosplayer, not an actress…Was she?

_Why do I feel that I have seen those eyes many times before when I haven't? Why do I feel like this is a déjà vu? Just who is S and what used to be my relationship with her? What is this favor she always talks about?_

Still, even after that, Ulquiorra didn't want to admit she was right, to accept he was afraid, not of changing, but of having been human all along.

-There's no need to be afraid. – S continued, recovering her usual countenance. – You are not a bad person, Ulquiorra; you've never been.

Ulquiorra was at last set free from the spell that imprisoned his body like iron and turned his head. Any direction was fine for him as long as S was not in sight. He turned to his right to once again see Orihime. It was unconscious and unplanned. He didn't feel like seeing her either…But that gave him an idea.

-S. – He called.

S narrowed her eyes. She knew what was coming, what his mind was thinking.

-You had never before appeared with this woman present.

-And you continue calling her 'woman'. – S interrupted.

Unexpectedly, Ulquiorra paid no mind to her words. S sighed inwardly. She had hoped she'd deviate his thoughts but he was set on speaking his mind… _So be it._ – She thought.

-Shouldn't you be the one fearing for her to see you? She could wake up suddenly and I might tell her what this is all about. I might tell her this is a repetition of events, that her friends came and got hurt, that she never stood a chance to fight, that Kurosaki Ichigo has changed as he wears a Hollow mask. I might tell her any of those or all of them.

_Interesting employment of 'might', Ulquiorra._ – S mused, grinning inside, already seeing a way to 'put him in his place' one more time… - _Let's see if you can say that again…_

S chuckled.

-She's asleep, Ulquiorra.

-I might wake her up.

_There it is again._ – S smiled discreetly, knowing Ulquiorra had just handed her victory unknowingly…And this time, her victory would be on a major battle that could determine the result of the war.

S let her smile be noticed by him, which confused him. He didn't see how his words had had the opposite effect of the desired one. How had he made her grin and laugh when he was threatening to end her game called 'trial'?

-And she's supposed to believe you? She doesn't even seem to be able to open her eyes yet and I doubt her thinking faculties are at their peak, Ulquiorra… - She paused a second; she was about to 'check' him. – I find it interesting that you are using 'might' instead of 'will'. Do you not, Ulquiorra?

Ulquiorra could say no more. S's grin became even more evident.

-You can't move. That is because you know what that means, don't you? You are aware what the lack of confidence in future actions indicates.

-It is just a word, S. – Ulquiorra weakly and futilely tried to dissent.

-Words mean everything, Ulquiorra Schiffer! – She exclaimed. – It is because of that little word that we know you unconsciously acknowledge it's_ your_ inner desire to understand Orihime Inoue! You've accepted your true feelings already, Ulquiorra Schiffer.

Ulquiorra was yet to understand how his legs could still support his weight. Every one of his cells paralyzed.

_I…_

-Your own bodily reactions which you find strange are in fact pleas you are making to yourself to admit the truth and lift this unnecessary burden off you already! This is no longer this evil witch's plan. You, Ulquiorra Schiffer, do want to understand the girl in this bed; it has always been a desire of your own, and, at this point, you just cannot live on denying it…

Her voice talked graver than he had heard before; her staring eyes were bewitching, profound, and their victory was imminent.

-So admit it, Ulquiorra. – She stated simply.

Ulquiorra took a forced deep breath. He wanted to break free…

-How do I know it is not your doing? – He questioned. – You've made use of nothing but words so far; your own words. You could have manipulated me just now, or all along, for me to act this way; it wouldn't have been a challenge to you…

S curled one side of her mouth upwards in a smirk.

-You used to pride yourself in being a submissive servant of Aizen, but you actually like being rebellious, Ulquiorra.

All of a sudden, S closed the distance between them with just a couple of steps and slightly leaned her frame taller than his although she wore no heals. Her eyes were then at the same level as his and only centimeters away. He wasn't able of escaping before that. Now, he was literally her prisoner.

-Maybe. – S answered his question simpering. – That is an interesting hypothesis. Unfortunately for your nerves, it is false. I cannot manipulate feelings, Ulquiorra. As you said, words are my tools. All I've done is influence you to see the desire you couldn't before, which you neglected until your very end. That's all.

Ulquiorra's heart skipped a beat. S had read his mind when he died? She knew exactly what his thoughts had been? _Who is S?_

-The mission this 'incoherent madness' has given you is your own wish. That's a fact at this point.

-It is not. – Ulquiorra contradicted.

Ulquiorra attempted to gaze down, not wishing to bear the sight of those eyes to which, for some reason, he just could not lie to. Furthermore, he felt incapable of hurting those eyes again; he didn't want to, even though he himself was placed in this situation by those very same eyes. The reason why was beyond him.

-Yes it is.

As her voice talked, S used her hand to lift Ulquiorra's face from the chin, causing his eyes to look straight at her once again.

-If that were not true, you would have not come this far, you wouldn't be feeling this way and you would not be so stubborn in denying it since you wouldn't feel threatened or even care about this… Moreover, you are yet to deny it, Ulquiorra.

-I have denied almost everything you've cornered me into, S. – Ulquiorra spoke bluntly under her powerful hypnotization.

-You have denied a lot of things during this trial; we both know that all too well, Ulquiorra Schiffer, but not once have you said you did not want to understand her.

-Yes I have.

-No, you haven't.

Silence was the next reply. While Ulquiorra was enraptured almost against his will, S could see a lot of things happening in Ulquiorra's green eyes too. For several hours in Hueco Mundo's perpetual night, S had seen those eyes judge her, question her, accuse her, look at her with confusion, denial, pain, shock, disbelief, curiosity and, mostly, uncertainty.

-I dare you to say it, then, this very instant. – S defied.

-I do not… - Ulquiorra began when his eyes tried to look an angle below.

-Say it while looking at me in the eyes, Ulquiorra. – S's tone went up a pitch. – I told you I do not like lies. Don't you dare lie to me, for I'll know when you do, and you are perfectly aware of that.

Ulquiorra turned to her. He remained quiet for an entire minute. With his eyes, he admitted defeat.

S's eyes softened and backed away to give him some space. Her hand holding his chin, however, turned him in Orihime's directions for him to look at her next.

Ulquiorra's eyes undergoing pain and confusion softened too at the sight of Orihime. His entire visage changed in seconds. Orihime was a healer; sometimes, just her sight was enough to cure affliction.

S let go of his chin and then walked behind him, leaning slowly to his ear and whispered softly.

-Give in, Ulquiorra. Stop fighting a war even more useless than those of countries and armies. While doing the right thing is not always wise, a stubborn soul is not admirable when fighting a cause that isn't just lost, but also purposeless; that is not just unwise, but also deadly. You're doing no good to yourself. There are things that are within our power to avoid, but this is not one of them. Surrender to the sweet and tempting tranquility. Once you accept this as your own wish, I guarantee you'll feel calmer, less frustrated, less pain. Only then will you have any chance of success in achieving this trial's mission. Admitting…Accepting your own feelings seems like the rational thing do to in this case, doesn't it, Ulquiorra?

Ulquiorra turned to S. His eyes had too much shock to contain, so he let his whole face express it.

S grinned amused and gleeful.

She proceeded to walk to the couch in the room. S looked somewhat tired, and that was very understandable; needless to say why. Nonetheless, she smiled and seemed to be humming a tune softly. She closed her eyelids to rest her eyes. Perhaps he wasn't the only one who felt worn out for exchanging glances in that particular manner. S looked peaceful, somehow.

Unbelievable…Well, that'd be an appropriate word for most people when displaying thus a lax attitude after having spoken so intensely, with so much power. Nevertheless, it was S Ulquiorra was thinking about. Deeply, he knew he should not be surprised.

An odd image came to his mind at the sight of her, like a long lost memory, a déjà vu. _This is the first time I see her this way. Why would I feel like I've seen S like this before?_

She suddenly took off her shoes and put her legs up in the couch. Much to his surprise, her toenails were black like his own nails were. He shouldn't be surprised about her personality, but about that, he certainly could be.

-S. – Ulquiorra called.

S opened her eyes immediately and turned to him with an inquiring hum and a friendly grin.

-Who are you? – He enquired. – Or rather, who _were_ you?

He was sure her grin would fade and she'd roll her eyes at him, tell him 'For the umpteenth time, I cannot tell you that, Ulquiorra Schiffer' or something akin to that. Belike, she'd also accompany her reply with a sly comment to mock him, which she seemed to enjoy doing and he would just let her since his mind would be too confused and messed up and he'd get a headache if he had yet another argument with her without a break after their prior one…But Ulquiorra was proved wrong. Instead, S kept her grin on. She slowly closed her eyelids again. Rather than looking at him as if he were helpless (and he could certainly be most of the time, so had she proven), she looked sad for not being able to answer him. Were Ulquiorra's eyes so exhausted they were playing tricks on him?

-I'm afraid the time for you to know that has not yet come. – S replied.

She immediately afterwards opened her eyes and looked his way again. A shiver traveled down his back. S let out a soft brief laugh. Maybe she was more tired than her outward appearance would let him know.

-Was that your way of asking about my black toenails, Ulquiorra? – Her voice sounded teasing.

Ulquiorra didn't reply.

S turned away, not letting him see her face. However, he could sense her smile was gone. She placed on the couch's arm support her arms and then her head on top of them with her face pointing right. All he could see was the white coat over her back.

-You seemed to be so stubbornly refusing to accept the remnants of your humanity, clinging so hard to your ideal Hollow image… - S's voice was so soft her words sounded more like a mumble. – You just don't realize how lucky you are to have humanity in you…You don't know what awaits you, Ulquiorra… However, it is not the same for me. I happen to be closer to that concept you have of Hollows. I happen to be bound to this place called Hueco Mundo for eternity or until my life meets its end, whichever happens first. If I had the humane essence you have, I'd be happy, you know?

S went quiet. Ulquiorra was immobile again. His mouth's lips parted but no words did. What was he supposed to say? He didn't even have a clue as to how to react.

_S… Something saddens her? She's not happy? But how could she if she gives the feeling she's happy and amused all the time?_

S only grew more mysterious with time. Ulquiorra had 1000% more chances of getting to understand Orihime Inoue before getting a clue about who S really was and what was inside of her. He wanted to see inside of her too, like she could see through him without censorship.

He needed to sit. So he sat in Orihime's bed and turned to her. She still slept. She was sweaty and still had a fever, but she still seemed tranquil, immune to the effect the conversation that took place in that cell room. How enviable.

He damped the cloth and replaced it on her forehead before sensing a pair of eyes looking at his back.

He slowly turned to the woman in the couch. She had moved to the opposite end of the couch and sat with one leg crossed, her chin propped up by her right arm with her elbow on top of the couch's side, her ponytail over her left shoulder and a smile one wouldn't guess could be possible in someone who minutes ago seemed as down as her.

Ulquiorra wanted to enquire about that, but thought better not to. He didn't want to see S like that again. He didn't know why, but he knew he didn't like that sight.

-Why are you dressed like a physician? – He asked belatedly.

-Because I'm in front of Orihime – San, who's sick. Hence, it's more appropriate to look like a doctor than a nurse. – She responded.

Ulquiorra, uncharacteristically, arched an eyebrow, truthfully expressing his dissatisfaction with her answer.

S chortled at Ulquiorra; that was more like her.

-You have no sense of humor, Ulquiorra. – She at last gave him a mean comment; it took her a while to do that. – Oh well, I can't say you ever had that much humor to begin with. I'm not trying to change who you really were and still are down there, so I guess that's just alright.

He didn't know what to reply to that.

S put on her shoes again and turned to look at him without any apparent resent for anything that he had accused her of in that while.

-Do remember to laugh every now and then, though. – She commented.

-S, why do you cosplay at all? – Ulquiorra asked bluntly; he had been wondering about that for a good deal of time by then.

S turned to him and all she did was send him a smile wearing her enigmatic eyes which he could not decipher yet despite seeing them so closely, more closely than he was comfortable with.

Without saying another word, she left using the magic door she had used to enter before.

He never knew how long she had been in that cell room.

_Is she going to avoid answering that question too? _– Ulquiorra pondered.

I hope this made up for my delay. If you ask me, this is the most intense chapter I've written for this story so far. I bet you're glad you didn't lose faith in me! I'm happy you all like S. S quickly gained my own heart. I love her and have plans for her to appear in KISA too. I see some of you did try to guess the character that inspired me in creating S. The closest guess was C.C. from Code Geass. In fact, I did base something about S taking C.C. in consideration, but not her attitude. The character I'm challenging you to disclose is that who I used as a model for S's personality. Is anyone willing to try? You may try again if you wish. This is your last chance. Next chapter, I'll be revealing the answer… I feel like a TV host of some sort of show! *Laughs*


	11. Silent Connection

Sorry for the long wait! I've been busy with school. Yeah, I'm taking classes even on summer. Dedicated to Mizuki's Star, Astalavisbon, sumerrayah, Saiumi, Bokmal14, Kavyle, Icealeena, super1 and hitokiri angel for reviewing, MiserableAttBest, Culeomew, ThatPaladin, 4differentpersonalities, Blu inu, The Silent Cartographeresse, minaseiko1, makarayou, nosebleed15, ArethaHiwatari, anniabella, super1 and Cap'n Awesome for favoriting, Angel Peace, sumerrayah, Tiny Cherie, rimahikoandamutofan, ScarletRed666, MarHeavenAngel, Dhampirangel and HollowSanity for alerting, and to Black-Widow-Girl for alerting me as an author; it's always an honor!

**Silent Connection**

Ulquiorra was left alone to take care of the human woman in the bed, and he had not been able to deny it was _his_ wish to understand that very woman.

He turned to her yet again and observed her some more.

_Why is it that I try to understand this woman?_ – He would ask himself repeatedly.

It just made no sense to him that a human woman would attract his interest this much. He had no recollection of trying so hard for anyone before, not even Aizen.

Being at a loss as to what to do at first, or what to think for that matter, he limited to dousing his sleeve's rag to keep her forehead cool. The rest of the time, he would do nothing but sit there like a statue. Even Orihime in her condition seemed to move more than he did.

Time ticked by, although it was hard to tell how much since the moon never moved at all from its position in the sky, or perhaps time merely felt longer than it really was. Whichever the case, Ulquiorra just couldn't come up with an answer, not even a justification or a reasoning that could lead to it.

There was something that was the last thing he wanted happening; however, he had given that possibility zero thoughts until after it happened. It started with a soft groan from her. Her breathing slowly changed. She opened her lips as to let the air into her more easily. Her eyelids trembled as the unsteady eyelashes would show, and they slowly opened to reveal dark grey eyes.

Without lifting her head, she turned her look towards the nearest subject. Ulquiorra merely returned the stare. It might have been expected for her to have been surprised or perhaps scared, or maybe for her to immediately sit up and get away from him. She did nothing. Her eyes seemed, as if they wouldn't react to the sight of him even though she clearly knew he was there yet would not judge or fear him; quite the opposite, they seemed to look at him with familiarity. Whether she was already used to seeing him or had somehow sensed he was there even before opening her eyes he didn't know, and that was bothering him greatly, for some strange reason. Neither would utter a word.

As a result, the atmosphere enclosed some tension in it despite not one of the two doing as much as hinting it outwardly.

Her waking up without him yet having an answer to his query somehow felt as a time's-up signal. He didn't feel comfortable about it. It was extremely unusual for him to not be able to figure something out… Rather, it used to be. Lately, a lot of things regarding two particular females were beyond what he could understand without straining his mind.

Orihime felt weak and without energy to sit up. She merely stared at him blankly.

Ulquiorra wanted to break away from that impasse, but he was clueless as to how. She did not look like she'd do it herself, so the trouble was on him.

He decided he'd just speak at first. Then he recalled she had been keen in ignoring him before she ended up in bed. What could he do then? He needed to do something. Anything was good, just something. That is when his eyes landed on the water bowl next to him. He almost anxiously took the cloth from her forehead to dip it in the water. Even that was better than being imprisoned in their awkward silent staring.

Orihime had been taken aback for a moment. She had not until then realized she had something on her brow. She followed his moves with her eyes. She noted the cloth he doused was white with a black line. Curiously enough, the left sleeve of his jacket was ripped.

_Why did I have that on my forehead…? _– She thought drowsily. - _I feel hot. How strange. It's usually cold here… I can't move… I see. I felt weak before. Did I faint…? How long have I been sleeping? _

Ulquiorra slowly placed the cloth back in her forehead. Orihime was too tired to make much of a facial expression, but she truthfully was surprised.

_I see. I have a fever… Could that be his sleeve?_ _It doesn't make sense though. Why rip his clothes? Was there nothing else to use?_

Ulquiorra prolonged the duration of his trivial action as much as possibly, but it was just not possible to make it last forever. Still, he felt disappointed. Now what else could he do?

He turned to her again inevitably. Her factions had changed slightly.

_Is she surprised?_ – He wondered. – _That is probably not strange. Not even I would have guessed before I'd end up doing this._

Most astonishingly but without much attention being given to, Ulquiorra had guessed right about Orihime being surprised. For the first time, he had gotten it right with her.

He only lasted a few more seconds like that. He decided to speak himself once and for all.

-You fainted. – He informed. – This happened because you have not been eating right.

A sermon was all he came up with. Even he knew how pitiable that was considering the effect it would have was the opposite of what he desired, but who could be encouraged to talk back to him after such words?

Orihime had this sensation of awkwardness as well. She had not fallen sick in a while. The last time she ended bedridden and needed that kind of attentions she was a little girl, and her brother had not died yet. She took a few moments to reminiscence about those happier times. Despite having had to withstand the hits from an impatient drunk father and a rough decadent mother, she still believed her childhood had been happy because her brother was there for her, taking the hits for her whenever possible and smiling to her and teaching her to smile herself.

Ulquiorra misunderstood her silence, thinking she was still resolved to not tell him a word and that his sermon deterred her even more from talking. He could picture for a moment S's reproving stare, shaking her head, maybe hitting his too. He was authentically lost as to what to do. Such a feeling was frustrating to him.

Orihime's mind came back to her white dull cell. She could hardly believe she was so weak she could hardly move by then and that she had been requiring special care and none other than from her capturer.

_The last thing I remember is that I was trying to ignore him._ – Orihime recalled. – _How long has it been since then? Has he been here the whole time?_

Suddenly, she opened her mouth as to talk. Ulquiorra looked at her attentively, surprised to see she was actually willing to speak.

For a moment his heartbeat changed. Her initiating conversation would spare him from this unusual silence. He had no idea how come he could feel uncomfortable in silence when what felt both to have and not have been long ago silence was the most natural environment for him. Regardless, he wanted that unpleasant silence to end.

Orihime emitted an unintelligible sound. She paused. Ulquiorra frowned slightly. What had happened? She tried to speak again but still failed. She gave up. She recognized the discomfort in her throat as soreness.

He understood from watching that she was unable to talk. What he felt then, something akin to hope, resulted in disappointment.

Ulquiorra simply didn't like being in that position, unsure of what to do, what to say, how to act.

_This is so absurd…!_ – He thought. - _How can a mere human woman make me have this sensation? She's not doing anything extraordinary; she's not doing anything!_

His visage, unbeknownst to him, was far from what she was used to seeing. It showed that he was anxious, and she could see it without trouble.

Orihime at first believed her sleepy eyes were playing tricks on her, but she soon understood that was indeed Ulquiorra Schiffer's face, exposed like she had never seen before (that she remembered). It was a tad melancholic due to his frustration, softer than she had imagined it could look. He even pressed his hand against his forehead. That gesture seemed so…Humane. _Right now, he looks no different than a human._

He, unwitting of her contemplating him with surprise, couldn't take it anymore. Feeling like a lost soul was worse than asphyxiating to him. He quickly turned his soft expression away and brusquely stood up, which she did not expect.

Ulquiorra didn't stop to note her eyes had suddenly opened wider.

Turning on his heel, he walked calmly towards the door.

_I knew it. I can't do it after all, S._ – He thought.

A groan from behind him made him stop in his tracks.

He slowly turned his neck but not his body. His green eyes met her in an unexpected position, nearly sitting up while supporting her back's weight over her elbows. She trembled slightly, letting him know she was not brimming with energy, yet her eyes were dissonant from weak. They had a strong appeal in them that drove him to turn around fully and exchange glances with her.

_Does she want me to stay?_ – Ulquiorra wondered confused.

After some more time, he finally walked towards her and sat down by the side of the bed. It was not until then that she let her arms surrender and lied on her back again.

Truth be told, not even herself knew why she had done what she did.

_It's like my body moved on its own._ – She tried to reason her actions inwardly. – _For some reason, I suddenly tried to sit up… I don't know why, but I do not want him to leave… I just don't want to be alone._

Ulquiorra looked at her. He could tell with a glance she still didn't feel well enough to talk. He once again was in the trouble of not knowing what to say. However, strangely enough, it was already different from what it was minutes before. He no longer felt as uncomfortable and the silence was not as nerve-racking.

He noted that, in the act of attempting to sit, the cloth of his sleeve had fallen from her brow.

He picked it up and moved as to place it back there. He, however, did something she did not see coming. He pressed his pale hand against her forehead first, and then he placed the cloth there.

-38.2 degrees Celsius. – He spoke softly, sounding somewhat more natural than before. – Your fever still hasn't gone down enough.

Orihime blinked. She remembered her brother yet again.

-You won't recover fast at this rate because you are lacking nutrients in your body. You need to eat. – He told her.

She was surprised to say the least. Before, he would utter words like those, and they always sounded as reproaches for her not making his 'duty' easier, but that time was different. His tone wasn't scolding, it was even soft. Moreover, his face was not the usual. The way he looked at her made it seem as if he authentically cared for her wellbeing rather than her wellbeing being his obligation for Aizen's orders. She had been confused about him for a while already, but right then she was absolutely lost.

_How can it be?_ – She thought troubled. – _How can it be that the same person is giving me such a different feeling right now compared to before? It… It doesn't make sense. It's so fishy, but I still can't suspect him… And his face seems so different too. His cold face is no longer indifferent or strict. Somehow, he doesn't scare me or make me shudder. Somehow._

X Flashback X

-Remember your place, woman. – Ulquiorra scolded.

-Of course. I am the prisoner and you are the captor. How could I forget that?

Orihime had gotten Ulquiorra Schiffer speechless with her insolence.

-I am merely doing what I was ordered to, woman. – He retaliated.

_Is he trying to defend himself?_ – She thought. – _That's ridiculous. Why bother? He kidnapped me. How could he believe I'd excuse him because he followed orders…? Moreover, why would he care? Didn't he say before that I'm trash?_

-I still think it's not alright. – Orihime replied, not exactly sure why she even tried to express herself to him.

-What is?

-You told me you follow orders because you must in order to live. You live to obey. I still don't agree.

-Your consent is not necessary for Aizen, woman. Remember I am your captor but he is your master.

Orihime turned her face to the wall again and remained silent again.

-It's true. – She said, surprisingly. – Aizen has my life in his hands. – She then turned to him. – Just like he has yours.

She could tell by glancing at him how troubled he felt by her words. It was a rare sight to her. It was as if she held some power over him, an Espada. Did her opinion matter to him that much? If she was just trash, why did he not just shrug off her words? That Arrancar had given her the impression he was a logical being but recently he seemed more nonsensical than anything; she couldn't understand him or figure him out.

-I do not mind being in my position. – Ulquiorra answered.

His usual stance was not present in him there. The way he talked was more insecure than convicing. She didn't believe him, and the way she looked at him emitted that clearly.

-I have no interest in being 'free' as you would say. – He said.

-Freedom is something many people have died in order to get. I cannot believe there is someone who would not think something is wrong if they were prisoners.

Making him as uncomfortable as she had ever seen him, he left without another word.

X End of flashback X

Back then, she herself didn't quite know why she said all that or why she insisted in speaking without regard for his notable discomfort. She didn't consider herself sadistic enough to enjoy that, but part of her really wanted her to listen to that, as if she had been wishing to tell him that for a long time. She really didn't understand that man, and the way she acted when he was around was even less comprehensible.

Ulquiorra stared at her quietly, not being good with conversations, especially the type in which he was the only interlocutor.

A silent pause occurred. It was surprisingly peaceful and tension-free unlike a little while agone.

She'd continue thinking about how she hardly believed how much he had changed in the short while (or at least she thought it was short) that she was out. Simultaneously, he would think about her. For hours, he had appreciated her every sleeping feature, every one but her eyes because they had been closed until then.

_What color are those eyes?_ – He thought with unexpected concentration. – _Brown? Dark green? Dark grey? A mixture of navy blue and brown? That color is rather unusual. What color did I use to think they were before? Did I even think about it before? Of course I didn't. There is little benefit or point in knowing her irises' color. Then how come I can't stop thinking about that? How come I can't look away from them? What is it about them that could make them any more special than any other human's? Why do they seem to have a hypnotizing effect when they couldn't possibly? What are they seeing right now? I can see my own reflection in them. They are focusing on me. What exactly do they see in me? What is she thinking concerning myself? Is it something good? It is something bad? What exactly would be good or bad? Rather, why does she give the impression she's amused while thinking of me? … Why do I have to ask myself all these questions? This amount is ludicrous, especially when they are hardly relevant. I also have no idea as to how I could find those answers. Her muteness is of no help either._

Ulquiorra wasn't aware of it, but he was, as others would call it, captivated by those eyes. His mind was dancing to those orbs' will. Her thoughts, all concerning the subject of her eyes, would also be disordered, and more chaotic than his. True enough, Ulquiorra's questions were not really relevant as far as anyone else's opinion would say, but Orihime's confused thoughts and interrogatives were a dilemma, for they presented her a conflict between the perception she had of the Cuarta Espada from the time he abducted her to the present. She had seen radical changes in him in that short lapse of time. It felt as if she had seen more sides and angles in him than she could remember seeing. Nothing made sense anymore. Like the Arrancar, she too couldn't understand why her mind wouldn't stop rambling about him. She didn't get how she could find him fascinating in the least.

That was a moment in which they were each analyzing the information they had of the other while their gazes communicated silently but very openly that they felt an interest for one another, that they cared to understand what the other thought. It was the strangest of mental games any of them had yet played.

Having too many questions motivates even the less talkative ones to speak out in order to obtain answers more quickly than they could be obtained with silence.

-I do not understand why you'd want me to stay… - He began.

She looked away for a second. She feebly shrugged.

-Do you even have a reason to want me to stay? – He asked.

She shook her head with half-closed eyes. Much to her surprise, he didn't stand up and leave after calling her an illogical woman. How come he had accepted that as an answer? That didn't feel like him.

-I find that irrational. Although to want something for no particular reason is characteristic of humans… – He commented. – I have thought about that before, but I could not see an answer as to why that happens… I should be able to. That's what she would say.

Orihime was not sure who he meant by 'she', but she got the idea that he meant some woman that ought to be extraordinary in order for Ulquiorra Schiffer to express himself that way about her.

_Does that mean that he can relate to others?_ – Orihime wondered.

He then stood up. Orihime followed him with her eyes, lifting her head as well. Her look questioned him as to where he was going. She didn't want to be alone, and that showed in her eyes. Ulquiorra could only wonder why she'd seek his company after everything that had passed. _Does this have anything to do with her physical condition?_ – He reasoned.

-You need to eat. I will have something made for you. – He said with a static face before walking to the door.

As he was about to close it behind him, he turned to see she still had her ineffable eyes on him.

-I will be right back. – He added out of nowhere, catching himself by surprise.

He closed the door. For the first time in hours the object of his eyes was not her. He still found it strange how he tried hard to understand Orihime Inoue although he had already come to accept as a fact that he was interested in knowing Orihime Inoue. (He needed strong convincing from S in order to finally accept it as it was, though). As to how he would do it or why he wanted to do it, those were different issues he was far from answering then.

He arrived to the small kitchen, occupying only a little more space than Orihime cell did. There was not a large amount of food stored either, and it being there seemed futile yet since Orihime refused to eat. The main reason of that room's existence was her humane needs, after all.

He met there the one he least expected to meet. He should've already been used to the sight of her, though.

S wore black pants and shoes, a white overcoat with long sleeves and buttons in the front and a tomato red apron around her waist. To compliment her cosplay, she wore a chef's hat, though her loose hair stuck out from it clearly, making it obvious she was a cosplayer, not a cook.

She greeted him with her usual smile, though at that point he no longer knew if that smile was her true one since he had seen a much more innocent and carefree one on her before.

She approached him wordlessly and patted him on the shoulder with more strength than her appearance would let know she possessed.

Ulquiorra wasn't sure how to react even after seeing her wide grin showing her nice and white teeth set.

-Do you even conceive how proud I am of you, Ulquiorra Schiffer? – She proceeded to explain without showing emphasis in her grin as a sign of the truthfulness to her words.

Ulquiorra blinked. Other than that, he was still at a loss.

-I do not understand what you're talking about, S.

S sighed, but her grin didn't vanish.

-I guess I really shouldn't be surprised you don't, should I? – She shook her head to tease him.

There was a time only hours before in which her teasing was very effective to annoy Ulquiorra Schiffer, but his current attitude that did not react at all to her comment showed it had come to the point where he was already used to it. Moreover, regardless of how hopeless it seemed or how he had more than enough work already trying to communicate with a human teenager, part of Ulquiorra simply and unconsciously refused to give up figuring out S. It was his nature to be analytical, so he couldn't help it. Instead of letting the small teasing comments get to him, he would observe her keenly to get more information from her, though that purpose usually ceased when S's word play came forth.

-It's because you are finally showing your worth. – S explained. – You were about to resource to your cowardly habits, Ulquiorra. Because you naturally dislike not knowing how to proceed, you were about to run away and leave a sick girl behind. That was cold, you know? I was already sighing, thinking I'd have to begin recurring to methods I do not want to use, in order to get you to stay but a couple of hours with her…

_Is she saying only 2 hours have passed since I was in that room with her?_ – Ulquiorra thought, interrupting. – _Could it have been that little when it felt like 2 days' worth of hours?_

-…It took one groan from her, but at least you listened to it! – S continued nonchalantly although aware of what his thoughts were. – Ulquiorra, you turned! You went back to sit with her. You were in an uncomfortable situation, but you were willing to go through it because she wanted you there… I am so proud of you! – She repeated, unable to hide her glee, or maybe she didn't even try to hide it.

Ulquiorra felt a little surprised at her words. He remembered all the words that specific woman had told him in the recent days' hours, which were more numerous than any number of words he could recall having been told as far as his memory went. After that all, he knew well S had put her share of effort in that lapse of time too. He couldn't understand why, but she truly tried as best as she could to make him open up 'for the sake of his happiness', as she justified. The excitement she was reflecting that instant was the product of pride for having done something and gotten a good result; it was proof that her effort was heartfelt. He couldn't say honestly that he could look at her and tell her true feelings, for he considered himself far from understanding her that deeply, but he could at least tell that her blue eyes were not those of a liar.

S turned to pull a stool to sit on. Her chin was propped up by her elbow over the bar.

-S, why did she ask me to stay with her? – He asked pensively. – As far as she remembers, I am but the one who placed her in her situation, although I was merely following orders.  
-Orders or not, you cannot expect her to sympathize with you and try to understand your motives. Humans naturally lean to see every bad thing in their wrongdoers as much as they lean to see every virtue in the people they love. – S responded calmly with inklings of a grin still present in her visage.

-That is nonsensical. – Ulquiorra replied serious.

-Of course it is. However, you yourself are fond of thinking humans like to act irrationally, right? – She teased, and her grin then widened. – As for Orihime's motives, I cannot say.

He frowned at her reply. However, he was still skeptical about it.

-Has it come to the point in which your help is limited? – Ulquiorra asked with a tone that proved he didn't believe she'd suddenly stop lecturing about his incompetence to communicate like a regular human.

S laughed briefly, confusing him and bothering him further.

-What are you saying, Ulquiorra? Of course that's not it. I said it hundreds of times already. I am here to help and for no other purpose… You really overestimate me, did you know that? I might have powers you do not comprehend, but by no means does that mean I know absolutely everything. I cannot say what Orihime – San's motives were because she herself is confused about it. As we chat, she's in her room-slash-cell thinking more seriously than we this instant. Although, I'll admit I have an idea of what her motives could be while she is clueless about it. I can't blame her entirely though, for I did erase part of her memories of the first days she was here.

She turned to him. His frown that time conveyed a different type of confusion than the previous one he wore.

-She doesn't know? – He asked. – How could she look at me so intently as if she really wanted me to stay if she didn't know in the first place?

-Why, that is completely irrelevant to her wanting you to stay. There is not a logical explanation behind every desire we have. Sometimes we may want something badly but the reason why we want it is blurry to us in the beginning or at some point, even while we're trying to obtain it. Motives can be quite vague and still be enough for us to act upon them. If what we want can be obtained with relative ease, we might not even need any other motive than wishing to satisfy our petty wish. Orihime – San does not understand why your presence soothed her, but it did. That is all there is to her request and nothing more.

-My presence soothed her? – Ulquiorra asked skeptical.

-It did. – She confirmed.

-Although blurry, she did have a reason, correct?

-Correct. – S replied amused. – In this case, there is a reason why, but she doesn't know what it is.

-Why would she go so far, even trying to muster energy to sit up, when the reason is unclear to her?

Upon listening to him, S guffawed, taking him aback. She was much more loudly than she had expressed humor before. Moreover, her shaking shoulders and her struggle to not fall off the stool lasted a good twenty seconds. Tears of laughter began forming in her eye corners. Ulquiorra stared but not with his usual callous self. His scowl was formed and his curled lip spoke for his displeasure.

At last, S recovered her composure.

-May I ask what you found so hilarious, S? – Ulquiorra asked offended _and_ sounding as such, and that was a first.

-Because! – S giggled. – You actually asked that! You of all people asked that question. Ulquiorra you've been for several hours dealt with this trial beyond the ordinary in these extraordinary circumstances for an objective you merely know you want for no clear reason, and you still asked that. Tell me from what angle is that not funny! – She ended with another laugh, though not as intense or long as before.

Ulquiorra's green irises expanded. How _could_ he have asked that? Did this indicate that he, by doing something illogical, been acting humane all that while?

S had left him to his thoughts and meanwhile served herself a glass of a nice wine she found.

Turning to him, she offered Ulquiorra another stool for him to sit on, and he wordlessly and unblinking sat on it.

Several minutes passed. S entertained herself by observing him quietly, occasionally sipping some red wine.

She decided to not hear his thoughts to give him some privacy. She was not fond of listening to thoughts anyways, although, of course, that wouldn't stop her from using that ability when she deemed it necessary or opportune.

Despite the handicap, she could still see how confused and chaotic his mind was just by looking at his face. His inferior lip made a distinctive gesture when his head was in havoc, and his green orbs would also tremble unstably. To make an educated guess, he was thinking about the evidence of him effectively being like a human. He had accepted it, but he was still to embrace that truth.

Once she thought him calmed enough, she continued.

-As you can realize, you and her already have something in common, your humane actions and wishes. – Her grin softened into a more sympathetic and elegant one. – Isn't that great, Ulquiorra?

Ulquiorra didn't reply immediately. He slowly fixed his eyes on S, who attentively showed she was willing to listen to him.

-You said you had an idea of what her reason could be. I'd like to hear it.

S narrowed her eyes, very intrigued about his request. She hadn't expected his next words to be something related to understanding Orihime. Before, it was her who had to retrieve that subject from the back of his head. She felt even prouder of him. He had yet to fully accept his humanity, but he had at last embraced his own desire and at last was trying truly to understand Orihime Inoue. S had thought that at his pace he'd need some more time to progress that much. She had to do some effort to suppress her glee.

Still, she allowed herself to grin wider, knowing he'd attribute it to something else, and shrugged her shoulders.

-Like I said, I do not know all about everyone. I don't know exactly what about you she finds comforting enough to compare you to her brother. I myself found that a surprise.

Ulquiorra's eyes grew more open but also seemed momentarily disoriented.

-Her brother? – He asked slowly.

-Ah yes. She had a brother. You probably didn't know, though, and do not expect me to be the one to tell you about him. – S's smile became toothy. – You will ask about him yourself if you're curious enough, and your face tells me you certainly are. 'How could she compare me to a relative of hers? That hardly seems possible given her opinion of me. Then, what is in truth her opinion of me? Does she not hate me? Does she not despise me? Does she not think I'm not sane? What kind of man was he to be comparable to me in any regard?' Your thoughts are flooding with this many questions when I told you something so brief, Ulquiorra. – She chuckled. – You're indeed fond of asking yourself things in order to analyze everything, and I cannot even question that fact.

Ulquiorra gazed elsewhere. That was S's way of suggesting him a topic for conversation. Then again, he wasn't supposed to know she had thought of her brother. _Bringing him up for no apparent reason might seem strange to her._

-And I'll repeat what I said since you didn't quite understand it all. – S announced while standing up and walking about. – You do not need a reason to want to acquire something. That something can be knowledge. For absolutely no reason, you could go ahead and ask perfect strangers if they're liking the weather of that place at that time.

-That is random.

S laughed.

-Indeed, 'random' is the best word to describe that. Humans are more random than they acknowledge to be; pretty much all living creatures are. That, however, is not necessarily a bad thing. What is random is unpredictable. What is unpredictable is not boring at all.

Ulquiorra somehow managed to grasp something more to her words. He then realized S usually expressed herself very uniquely about humans. She called humans 'them' more often than 'us'. He still had present what she had told him in the saddest position he had seen her so far: 'If I had the humane essence you have, I'd be happy, you know?' She also mentioned that she was bound to Hueco Mundo forever, and she said it with a voice different from her usual one, a voice that lacked vivacity in every way, unlike the words she directed to him, filled with her very best efforts.

Ulquiorra looked at S. He could tell she was in a good mood, but part of her looked less bright than normal.

_S, are you sad? I cannot tell. Her drinking wine could have a relation to that too, possibly. _

S was no longer oblivious to his thoughts. She sighed inwardly only.

_Is he worrying about me?_ – She thought with a desire to laugh, but had she done so, it would've sounded dull and without any sincerity in it. – _This is in part my fault. I was careless for a moment due to stress… It seems my attitude a couple of hours ago had an impact on you… I can't let you focus on me too much. You're already busy enough with Orihime –San. _

Like magic, S got a plate with a vegetable stew from behind her, although behind her there was only air. It was much like the time she made a mirror appear from nowhere.

-Take this to Orihime – San. – S instructed with a smile as she handed the fancy bowl to his pale hands. – This has plenty of nutrients for her to recover her energy.

Ulquiorra alternated his look from S to the bowl.

-What are you waiting for? – S teased before sipping the last of what was left in her wineglass.

-S, do you know how to cook? – Ulquiorra asked.

S lifted an eyebrow. Ulquiorra was surprising her too much in a short lapse of time. That was very unusual

-See? You're already practicing how to be random. – She joked.

Ulquiorra didn't make the slightest movement to indicate he'd be leaving with that answer. S placed the empty wineglass down.

-You really are trying to get to know me even though your hands are pretty much tied?

Ulquiorra looked down for a second before looking at her blue eyes again with some more determination.

-At least a little. – He confessed.

She sighed softly and formed a little smile. That was her way of ceding, of saying 'alright'.

-No, I don't. I didn't cook that either. – She replied bluntly.

Ulquiorra's face showed he received the answer. It was until then that he began heading back to where Orihime was. Part of him felt satisfied about that encounter with S not being as dramatic or strange as most times. It was…peaceful enough and not as confusing. It only proved S had been right before. Things felt easier now that he understood what he had to do, although the explanation was missing. But after that talk, he wondered if there even was an explanation.

S filled the wineglass again to congratulate herself for the starting fruition.

_This is a good thing. Time is running out already. I could not afford Ulquiorra to continue so slowly anymore._

Back in the room-slash-cell, Orihime too had a lot to think about.

_I feel very confused._ _He constantly changes his attitude in strange ways. He at times seems uncomfortable, yet he looks like he's forcing himself to talk to me. Is that part of Aizen's orders? What purpose could that have? (…) If they're not Aizen's orders, then why is he doing it? He said before all cared about was to keep me alive and well. Most probably, he is with me now only because I'm sick… Yes, that has to be it… Yet, his expression is so different. He still looks troubled, but something about his eyes made his worry look sincere. They were centimeters away from mine. Could they have looked so convincing when they were that close to me? How come I could remember my brother then? Nii - San loved me. Ulquiorra Schiffer doesn't… He doesn't… (…) It was really strange. I dreamt he called me by my name. 'Orihime, what's wrong?', he asked me._

She weakly attempted to smile and made a movement that would've resulted in her shaking her head had she been in all her faculties. That chances of that happening seemed that absurd to her.

_That wouldn't ever happen._ – She thought to herself. – _Things feel more confusing than they should. I wonder who is more illogical, Ulquiorra Schiffer or myself._

I have to apologize for the delay, but you can't help it when you're a college student. I truly appreciate that you like this story so much that you wish I could update faster; I myself wish the same. Sadly, no matter how much we wish, I really cannot update any faster, and it's not because I am discouraged about writing; I'm not lying when I say I'm unable to write often. I wish this chapter were longer and more appealing after making you wait so long… Still, you could say this chapter was important. So far it has been more Ulquiorra-centric, but now I can start getting Orihime more involved too. ^^ As for the pop quiz's answer, nobody guessed correctly. The character in which I took inspiration to create our beloved S is: Yuuko Ichihara from xxxHolic! :D I even attempted to make her as sexy and awesome as her. I am aware I am still to work on the latter part, but perhaps I've succeeded in the former? If you haven't checked it out, do so. ;)


End file.
